Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my kids away from chicken pox party?

245 replies

Badgerboop · 09/02/2017 11:06

More of a WWYD?

One of my friends is having a kids party tomorrow and both of my children have been invited. I've just found out via Facebook that the birthday girl has got chicken pox in the contagious stage. The mother is not going to postpone the party and it's still going ahead.

Neither of my kids have had it. I wouldn't mind the eldest one catching it as I think she would cope with it but I really don't want my youngest to catch it as she's just getting over a cold, ear and chest infection which has knocked her for 6 and neither of us have had any sleep for the past 5 days!

Shall I just decline the invite or just take them? She's the type of woman who will get funny with me if I decline. I thought about just taking the eldest but if she catches it she will obv pass onto th youngest

OP posts:
Gwenci · 09/02/2017 11:33

I am so incredibly glad I've vaccinated both my DC.

Still wouldn't take them to that party though. Why isn't she cancelling?!! Bloody selfish.

Original poster
Badgerboop · 09/02/2017 11:34

hedgehog that's interesting I didn't know there was a vaccine? Do you just go to the doctors and ask for it?

OP posts:
ExplodedCloud · 09/02/2017 11:35

Badger you can't know your oldest would cope. It isn't just 'weakened' children who can get really ill with it. She probably would be fine but it isn't 100%.
If the host is being upfront about it and parents get to choose to go or not, that's up to them. Not telling people isn't on. Nor is a hissy fit if people choose not to go.

ExplodedCloud · 09/02/2017 11:36

You have to go private for the vaccine. Some GP's will do it, some won't

wisemonkey · 09/02/2017 11:36

I would have thought it's better to know they're going to get it in 3 weeks time (or whatever) than at a time you're not prepared for it. But if you don't want to make it almost inevitable that your kids get it just don't take them to the party. No need for all the judging and drama. Of course they may get it anyway from someone else who is infectious and doesn't realise. For the vast majority of people chicken pox is a mild childhood illness but is more serious in adults. I had a friend who chose to avoid children for 9 months of pregnancy because she'd never had it.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 09/02/2017 11:38

Suggest the vaccine. I might be wrong (I am sure I will be corrected) but I believe that the vaccine also prevents against shingles. Wish it had been invented when I was a wee'un.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 09/02/2017 11:38

I would never attend or hold a chicken pox party. It's really irresponsible as you have no idea how severe a case either your child or another child will have. A really really stupid idea.

Gwenci · 09/02/2017 11:40

We booked and paid for the vaccination through a local travel clinic. You can't get it on the NHS except under certain circumstances.

It cost us £240 to vaccinate two DC against chicken pox. That combined with paying hundreds for the Men B vaccine privately meant no holiday for us last year. Money better spent though I think.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 09/02/2017 11:40

Also, OP your friend is a muppet

arethereanyleftatall · 09/02/2017 11:40

I've just googled. There's 20 deaths a year from chicken pox. Not a risk any sensible parent would take.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 09/02/2017 11:42

A couple of kids in DS' school nursery ended up having complications from it last year.

ExConstance · 09/02/2017 11:42

I wish they had been around when I was a child, and that my mother had taken me to one. I got chickenpox when I was 36 and it caused a miscarriage. I was really ill with it as well. For some reason (this was pre vaccination) I got none of the "childhood illnesses" and have endured measles, rubella and mumps - plus the chicken pox - as an adult.

user1484394242 · 09/02/2017 11:45

You can get CP more than once. My DD had twice and I know of an adult who had it several times.

PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2017 11:46

Suggest the vaccine. I might be wrong (I am sure I will be corrected) but I believe that the vaccine also prevents against shingles.

Shingles happens when the chickenpox virus reawakens (it goes dormant in nerve roots). If you've never had chicken pox you can't have shingles.

MusicToMyEars800 · 09/02/2017 11:47

steer clear, chicken pox are most contagious for 2 days before the spots appear but are highly contagious until the last spot scabs over, both my dds have had them my eldest caught it from a child in her class and youngest caught it off my eldest.. it's not pleasant neither of mine got ill with it but they did get extremely itchy luckily piriton sorted that out.

namechangedtoday15 · 09/02/2017 11:49

OP - Do. Not. Go.

Honestly, I say this time and time again on Mumsnet. I know personally of 2 children who have had strokes as a result of chicken pox. Otherwise healthy children, no immune compromised or whatever, they just couldn't cope with it. Three years on, one boy is still having physio to get movement back and was in hospital at the start for 3 months (50 miles from home).

Never, ever willingly expose your children to such a risk. Yes, it might be 1 in a 1000, but you have no way of knowing whether your child will be that 1.

amidawsh · 09/02/2017 11:51

DD1 got cp when she was 2 1/2, she was absolutely fine with it, barely ill and seemed to enjoy her days at home tucked up on the sofa watching Cbeebies.

DD2 got it 2 weeks later, she was 8 months, she was so incredibly ill. Infected chicken pox sores, she still has some scars. It was horrible.

My god-daughter got them from DD1. she was the same age. She got them in her mouth, on her eyelids, ended up in hospital. I felt so guilty, she visited before DD1 had any spots and i had no idea she was coming down with CP but she was clearly v contagious at that point.

People can be a bit reckless/thoughtless. "My kid is fine, you have to get it sometime etc..." They clearly haven't experienced anyone really sick with it.

cantkeepawayforever · 09/02/2017 11:55

I seem to remember that the vaccine isn't particularly effective (9 out of 10 vaccinated children will be protected, or about 3/4 of those vaccinated later in life), and also that it is possible for a vaccinated child to have a 'hidden' case of chickenpox and thus pass the illness on to others while appearing well themselves.

For comparison, from a quick Google, the effectiveness of the MMR is vaccine is 97%+ - ie 97 or more children out of 100 vaccinated will develop effective immunity to measles.

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 09/02/2017 11:56

Bloody hell. This woman is awful. Immunocompromised people can die from chicken pox and because it's a live vaccine they can't be vaccinated. She's deliberately spreading a disease that can kill. I hate this attitude about cp - people need to be educated. Yes it's mild for most but not all and because the vaccine is live the vulnerable often can't be protected. I have a friend who lost a spleen to cancer - cp could be really serious for her and she has dc. This woman is essentially making the decision that her party is more important than an immuncompromised persons life. I wouldn't go and I'd make sure to spread this info as widely as possible. If you want to protect your kids get the vaccine (it's available privately here). In the US all (non immunocompromised) kids get the vaccine.

jay55 · 09/02/2017 11:59

I feel for the cheesecake lad who has it. 35 years later I still remember how grotty I felt with it and how I just wanted to be in a cool bath all the time. I'd have hated to have a party in the middle of it.

jay55 · 09/02/2017 12:00

Party child not cheesecake

PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2017 12:03

cantkeepawayforever that's for a single dose. It's higher if two doses are given. Even if the vaccine doesn't achieve total immunity it means the course of chicken pox someone gets is a mild one rather than one with the severe complications.

FetchezLaVache · 09/02/2017 12:06

A friend's son nearly died of CP - the doctor who treated him said the only reason he didn't is that he is apparently 'double hard'! I think it's irresponsible to court something so contagious when there's no way of knowing who the child might subsequently come into contact with. YANBU, let the mother get funny with you if she can't understand that!

SquedgieBeckenheim · 09/02/2017 12:07

I wouldn't take my DD to a party where anyone was in the infectious stage of chicken pox!
She will probably catch it at some point from another child at nursery. Not sure how she hasn't already to be honest, she's been in childcare for nearly 2 years and there have been a few times a child has contracted chicken pox and then been off, but DD has always avoided it to date. In fact there was a sign up at nursery this week to say one of the children had been sent home with chicken pox. That's a risk level I'm happy with. But deliberately taking her some where to expose her to a known child with chicken pox in the hope she'll catch it? No chance.

BoredProcrastinator · 09/02/2017 12:09

I would think it was highly dangerous to go if your DC has had such a run of being poorly personally, I'd just say you can't risk it. DD has had chicken pox and she was lucky it was mild but it's lowered her and she's had 3 virus/cold type things since.

Swipe left for the next trending thread