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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just want to cry

84 replies

StarlitTrees · 09/02/2017 05:23

Why do everyone else have perfect newborns? What trick am I missing here??

My son is 10 weeks now and still only taking 2-3oz overnight every 2-3 hours. I try to get him to take more but he just won't!
Infact tonight, he's been up every 1.5h!!

I know things could be a million times worse, and it's still 'early days'. But I just get frustrated when people boast how well their newborns sleep!
My friend told me tonight that her baby who's 2 or 3 weeks younger sleeps from 10-5.30 every night!
This is my second baby and I know my first didn't do that either.

Im just so tired. Luckily my husband gets up for one of the feeds else I'd he dead on my feet!

Doesn't help that weve lived in a plague house since he was born. Winter baby plus 3 year old just starting nursery is not a good combination. The kids and i have had constant coughs and colds for weeks now.

Sorry for the moan. I know it gets better so I just need to suck it up. It won't last forever. I just wish that little gems like 'sleep when the baby sleeps' were still relevant!

So AIBU to just hate everyone's perfect newborns just a little and to be sitting here crying.

OP posts:
Macauley · 09/02/2017 05:26

My newborn isn't perfect! I've been up all night feeding every hour, I could cry too. You aren't alone.

Rubyslippers7780 · 09/02/2017 05:27

Other people are lying. Don't compare but get through each day. Massive hand hold. Sleep deprivation is hell. Flowers

Scrumptiousbears · 09/02/2017 05:29

Sorry I've no real advice. Both mine slept through from 8 weeks. I know loads of babies that didn't though. I feel your pain. My 9 month old has sleep regression and wakes every night from midnight to 0200hrs then again at 0500hrs. Tonight she is ill and I've been awake 24 hours so far.

Original poster
StarlitTrees · 09/02/2017 05:31

I know I shouldn't compare.

You think you wouldn't need to learn the same mistakes second time around!

I just need a good chunk of sleep!!

Can't believe how quickly you've replied. But I suppose if you just look at the times of posts on here I know I'm not the only one up holding the baby.

I just don't know how some people have very young babies who sleep for 7-8h at a time!

OP posts:
foxessocks · 09/02/2017 05:33

I've been up every 2 hours with my 5 month old. Every hour some nights. He has been wide awake since half 4! At 10 weeks he was only waking once but that only lasted a few weeks. So anyone who is saying their baby sleeps well could find that changes and then maybe they don't admit that it has all gone wrong!

Your baby sounds perfectly normal to me. I have 3 yo too, it's hard isn't it BrewCakeFlowers

NotTheBelleoftheBall · 09/02/2017 05:33

I think that what people mean when they say 'sleep through' really varies. I like to believe that DD 'sleeps through' but here I am, in the living room, for the second time since 3am, bouncing a small baby... I've made a coffee, such is my certainty that there'll be no more sleeping for me 'tonight'.

You are not alone.

SingingInTheRainstorm · 09/02/2017 05:36

YANBU

It must be soul destroying just getting comfy then having to be woken up for a feed. I was one of those parents you hate who had babies who slept through.

Hopefully once all the germs are gone DC will be more settled. Have you thought of like a weighted glove you sleep with or keep in bed, then place it on DC. Might keep them settled a bit longer.

Popskipiekin · 09/02/2017 05:39

Am up feeding my 8 week old - hello! Wish people wouldn't boast. Don't know why they do! What is to be gained from making other people feel shit? Hopefully karma will get them with massive sleep regressions Grin DC1 slept through at 3 months but I kept quiet about it and good thing too as it wa very short-lived. Now 2.4 and hasn't slept through since 😴
This one keeps me on my toes by varying the game each night. Your every 1.5/2hours sounds like a very special form of hell. It will get better?? And meanwhile your perfect friend should come and look after your baby during the day time to let you sleep, seeing as she's getting masses at night.... (just kidding, a bit)

SprogletsMum · 09/02/2017 05:40

I've been awake since 3.30 with my bloody 2 year old! She's showing no signs of wanting to go back to sleep and I'm shattered.
I well remember the awfulness of winter baby plus 3 year old in nursery. She was ill from more or less the second she came home. It will pass, I know many more people with newborns that don't sleep than those that do.

Buggeritimgettingup · 09/02/2017 05:43

One of mine fed every 45-60 minutes for about 8 weeks. I was in heaven when she went to 2 hours Grin don't compare! They have teeny tummies and this too on will pass.

Original poster
StarlitTrees · 09/02/2017 05:46

Thanks all for just showing me we are all in it together.

I know my first was similar but once he settled he was good (apart from one hellish sleep regression!)

Everything is just so much harder this time round. I try not to be snappy with my 3 year old in the day but he's obviously just trying to get some of my attention too. The sleep deprivation plus this damn cough that won't go is just leaving me grumpy.

Not only am I getting up with baby, but 3 year old has had conjunctivitis thrown in so shouts me once a night to come unstick his eyes. Once more because he wants a wee. And then I wake numerous times hearing him having a coughing fit.

Every step of parenthood descends me further down the spiral of sleep deprivation. I find myself frequently asking 'how on earth did I think I was tired before??'

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlitTrees · 09/02/2017 05:50

buggerit and that's what I meant by I know it could be worse. Think I'd have a nervous breakdown if he was waking 45-50mins!

It's just frustrating when I read he should be taking 6oz every 6h.
I suppose he is having 6oz/6h, he's just splitting it up and grazing!

I was going to start slimming world tomorrow but I need chocolate!!

OP posts:
doubletrouble41 · 09/02/2017 05:57

Youre not alone. I have twins.... ten weeks old.... one is a sleeper, only up every 5-6 hrs at night and the other likes to wake every two hours. This surely proves it's them, not us! Its a lottery! xxx

doubletrouble41 · 09/02/2017 05:59

plus they only take 4oz, though the sleeper sometimes takes 5. There are no rules. Unfortunately!

trufflehumper · 09/02/2017 06:01

Having the same experience here with our little one (6 weeks) and DD2 (2 yo). Baby screamed and screamed the night before last with colic and DD2 woke with hacking cough. This being our third I know it will pass but it is still hard! Flowers for you OP. Hang in there.

doubletrouble41 · 09/02/2017 06:02

I'm going to suggest a dummy.... used to hate them with my first ( singleton, sleeper) DD but now I couldn't live without! xx

LilacSpatula · 09/02/2017 06:05

DD is 10 weeks and tonight slept from 1 am until 5:30. It feels really long to me - but waking every 1.5 hrs at this point would physically hurt. Flowers

LilacSpatula · 09/02/2017 06:05

Yes to the dummy!

LilacSpatula · 09/02/2017 06:07

And I feel you're ff try hungry baby food - fills them up for longer apparently...

NotTheBelleoftheBall · 09/02/2017 06:08

10/10 the dummy!

Pre DD I considered them unnecessary, but they are a godsend if you're trying to tip your overtired baby over the edge from moaning Minnie to asleep.

doubletrouble41 · 09/02/2017 06:10

haha we tried hungry baby with our non sleeper' she drained the bottle ( for the first time EVER) and looked for more food then woke after ONE HOUR. It was like she was sticking two fingers up at our efforts! We were gutted!

GoesDownLikeACupOfColdSick · 09/02/2017 06:15

Mine was 13-14 weeks before we got 4 hours out of her! She's a good sleeper as a 17 month old.

Also I have the worst cough in the world now and have not slept for 4 nights due to coughing every time I try to lie down. So much cough. So you're not the only one awake if that helps a bit - misery loves company :)

Chottie · 09/02/2017 06:19

I don't believe your friend's babies are all sleeping through either!

My two DCs did not sleep for hours and hours at such a young age either until they were teenagers, but that's a different story

Yura · 09/02/2017 06:27

you are doing everything right! don't try to overfeed, you'll regret it later on when they eat too much and either spit up or become overweight.
(i'm NOT saying that well- sleeping babies are overfed, just that overfeeding to get them to sleep is not a good thing to do!!! every baby is different)
you baby just has a tiny stomach, and eats accordingly.
babies who sleep hours on end that early are very rare, and it will get better!

Coastalcommand · 09/02/2017 06:54

YABU. Your baby is 'perfect' too. They are newborns, they have small stomachs and need to eat, wee and poo every few hours.
I have a DD the same age. She only sleeps for a 'good chunk' because we co-sleep, but even then some nights she's unsettled.
I think she's completely perfect! After numerous health scares I feel like I've won the lottery to have a healthy newborn. Many people are not so lucky.
So, yes, suck it up as you say, or even try to enjoy it. And realise that he is perfect, however he sleeps.

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