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Original poster

To ask about who pays etiquette?

39 replies

bbeevvyy · 31/12/2016 15:16

If you get a takeaway or go to a restaurant when visiting friends or ILs, what is the done thing for who pays? The guest or host or split it 50%?
Thanks

OP posts:
justanotherusername0 · 31/12/2016 15:18

If the host has bought lots of food in specially for us for our visit I will pay for the meal or the takeaway . In fact id probably pay anyway as thanks for their hospitality

Beebeeeight · 31/12/2016 15:18

Depends on who wants the takeaway/ meal out.

Oysterbabe · 31/12/2016 15:19

Parents always pay. Always split with anyone else.

DailyFail1 · 31/12/2016 15:20

Guest pays when I host, but that's because I spend hundreds of pounds when hosting & make a lot of effort. I would expect 50/50 if no hosting effort is made.

PNGirl · 31/12/2016 15:21

My in laws always insist on paying. With my mum and dad we normally buy lunch out and/or coffees and they buy takeaway/evening meal. We always bring wine too.

Ginslinger · 31/12/2016 15:21

if people are visiting me for an overnight and I suggest a meal out then I pay because I am doing that in lieu of feeding them, however if people are staying several days and offer to take me out then they pay

TrustySnail · 31/12/2016 15:21

The person who issues the invitation to the restaurant, or who suggests getting the takeaway should pay.

MsAwesomeDragon · 31/12/2016 15:23

In my house I expect to pay as I'm the host, but won't refuse if guests want to split the cost.

In other houses I offer to split it, sometimes people accept others refuse, either way I've made the offer.

At my sister's house, if I want to eat I need to buy food, either from the supermarket or a takeaway, so I expect to pay for us all. She doesn't have a lot of money so can't afford to feed us when we visit.

HecateAntaia · 31/12/2016 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EuropeanSwallow · 31/12/2016 15:25

As the guest staying in someone's home, I always insist on taking my hosts out for dinner/breakfast or buying in a take away meal at least once during the visit.. As a host who suggested it, I'd expect to and offer to pay but would be a bit surprised to have, and can't remember having, a guest (if we're not talking impoverished student friends of dc) who didn't at least offer to go 50/50.

Bluntness100 · 31/12/2016 15:31

We split. It's not fair for one couple to shoulder the bill. However when I host or go to someone else hosting I always take stuff. Booze, food, gifts.

Wookiecookies · 31/12/2016 15:38

It depends if its a regular thing, our friends come for takeaways often and vice versa, so we pay, then the next time they pay etc... otherwise we would just split 50/50. If we specifically made dinner, I would expect them to bring a bottle but nothing else.

Wookiecookies · 31/12/2016 15:39

If it is not a regular thing, thin good ettiquette would be that you pay for the whole meal IMHO.

Wookiecookies · 31/12/2016 15:39

Then

haveacupoftea · 31/12/2016 15:40

Both parties should offer, and the guest should pay as a thank you in most circumstances.

SparkleShinyGlitter · 31/12/2016 15:42

Take away the host pays. Me & DH pay when friends/family come to ours and they pay at there home

Restaurant meal, what ever the bill is we each put a card down and pay 1/2 no silly business about x had a starter and I didn't

Wookiecookies · 31/12/2016 15:42

Ok, think I have misread the OP. You should offer to pay if you are visiting someone, but if the hosts are happy to pay then that is fine.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 31/12/2016 15:44

Usually the guests offer to pay towards the meal, the hosts say they couldn't accept that, the guests say oh but we insist, the hosts refuse to take the money, the guests try to shove a tenner to the host, the host gives it back and then you sit in awkward silence until the takeaway arrives.

It's the British way. Grin

Pinkheart5915 · 31/12/2016 15:48

Take away, the host pays

Restaurant, me & DH go out regularly with friends and take it in turn to pay for the whole meal. If it's a one off normally whatever the final bill is we offer to split

rookiemere · 31/12/2016 15:49

It depends.

If I have invited people over for a meal then I pay as if there wasn't a takeaway, then I wouldn't be asking people to chip in for the cost of the groceries and heating the oven.

If I was a visitor and was staying for more than one night, then I would offer to either take them out for a meal or pay for a takeaway.

SheldonCRules · 31/12/2016 15:52

Host pays unless the guests suggested it as their treat.

HardcoreLadyType · 31/12/2016 15:55

I have never had a takeaway at someone else's house, since I was young enough for it to be that everyone paid their own share. (So, like a group of students.)

If I were staying at someone's house, and we went out, I would expect to pay, as a thank you for hosting.

TinselTwins · 31/12/2016 15:57

Host pays, I've occassionally got a take away when we've had guests (for several nights, other nights have cooked for them) and I see it as my job to feed them if they're in my house.

However, if i was a local friend and they were coming over "for takeaway" or a "lets get a take away" spontanious thing, i'ld expect it to be split

TinselTwins · 31/12/2016 15:58

If you go out to a restraunt when visiting people, if they've fed you for the last 4/5 nights in their home, as the guest you should offer to pay the full bill as a thank you for all the other meals IMO

GnomeDePlume · 31/12/2016 16:01

Whichever way

agree it up front before anybody orders anything

This means that everyone can relax. On the whole the people who know they are being hosted may be slightly more modest in their orders. The people hosting can then guide to an extent 'Everyone having starters? Shall I order some wine?'.

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