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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Making digs at my baby, Aibu?

73 replies

UserOneMillion · 31/12/2016 12:40

DS is 4 months old.

Stepmother can make thinly veiled digs. Yesterday she commented DS was really small, he's not, he's on the 75th centile.

She kept saying it, I was sleep deprived and fed up with her behaviour this Christmas. I replied that maybe it's in comparison to her year old grandson (who's she's just seen and is a very large child). She snapped back that so and so's baby is the same age as mine and is a lot bigger, I pointed out that's likely because she's bottle fed....

Aibu to think she was being rude?

OP posts:
Fuckingnamechanged · 31/12/2016 12:43

I think maybe you're both taking it a bit far. Some babies are small, some are big. There's no need for her to comment on it and no need to get upset about it.

Is your relationship with her not a good one usually?

BlackeyedSusan · 31/12/2016 12:43

really small is not a dig when he is only 4 months.

4 month old babies are small

CalorieCreditEqualsCake · 31/12/2016 12:44

I'mnot sure why the need for the 'bottlfed' comment needed to be said.

Mine were off the chart and we're both exclusively breastfed.

mumonashoestring · 31/12/2016 12:44

Just laugh at her and point out that they're babies, not baking potatoes - size is more or less irrelevant as long as they're healthy. Honestly, being treated like a daft old bat will drive her potty faster than any rational response if she thinks that what she's saying is in any way acceptable.

pipsqueak25 · 31/12/2016 12:45

that's okay, let her have a moment, smile and wave,nod, and then carry on with what you are doing, as long as lo is thriving and you are happy, she can piss in the wind.

LIZS · 31/12/2016 12:45

You are getting a casual remark out of proportion. Even if she had an agenda it is easier to just say "really?" And move the conversation on.

DonkeyOaty · 31/12/2016 12:46

Yes she was rude.

Think about saying something along the lines of "I find it upsetting when you make comments about my baby's size. Please stop thank you". If persists then pick up baby and leave "I have asked you to stop making comments about my baby and you have continued. We're off fuckety-bye"

BewtySkoolDropowt · 31/12/2016 12:46

I'd just laugh and say 'he's just four months old, he's the perfect size!'.

Abs depending on my mood be all pa saying to baby 'oh granny thinks you are small, isn't she silly! You aren' t meant to be big yet!'

PeachBellini123 · 31/12/2016 12:46

The bottle fed comment - please don't say that to other mothers.

pipsqueak25 · 31/12/2016 12:47

it doesn't make you mother of the year because you bf ! not everyone can / wants to bottle feed, so put a christmas sock in that comment for a start.

PotteringAlong · 31/12/2016 12:47

Why are you bigger if you're bottle fed? You both come off a bit badly here...

BIgBagofJelly · 31/12/2016 12:48

I think it's a bit irritating of her to keep commenting about it but surely you could just say "huh funny, he's actually bigger than average for his age".

MollyHuaCha · 31/12/2016 12:49

Take no notice of everyone's comments on baby's size apart from doctor and HV. Some people just like the sound of their own voices.

lizb30 · 31/12/2016 12:50

Being bottle fed has nothing to do with it. I have a 15 month old daughter and a 7 month old nephew. I bottle feed, my sil breast feeds. He's 2lb heavier than my daughter and in the same size clothes.
Genetics it's called not bottle vs bf. Rediculous comment.
Be annoyed hype all means, but don't turn it into something it's not.

MatildaTheCat · 31/12/2016 12:50

I always say, 'Look around this room, everyone is a different shape and size and the same applies to babies.'

Some people just have to compare babies and it is pretty irritating.

Bluntness100 · 31/12/2016 12:50

I'm not sure how it's rude to say your grandchild is small. He either is or he isn't, and sure her perception may be off. Just say actually he's not, he's been measured or whatever. I just can't see it as an insult or rude. I'm sorry.

If she said he was butt ugly fair enough, but just he is small seems fairly innocuous to me.

lizb30 · 31/12/2016 12:51

*by not hype. Bloody phone!

My eldest was tiny. I always had the "he's too small" comments. Just ignore it.

BIgBagofJelly · 31/12/2016 12:51

At 4 months, weight gain will begin to look different for breastfed and formula fed babies. Research clearly shows that breastfed babies and formula fed babies grow at different rates starting at about 4 months of age.

There are differences in weight gain between FF and BF babies but there's so much natural variation you couldn't possibly say that baby X is bigger than Y because they were FF.

Ellisandra · 31/12/2016 12:52

Pretty mean of you the then take a pop about another baby!!
Why do that?
Just ignore her or say "yes, so cute and tiny!" and take the wind out of her sales by being positive. I'd do that over pointing out the 75th centile truth as that would show that she riled you..

Marynary · 31/12/2016 12:53

I don't really get why your perceive that commenting on your baby being small is an insult in the first place. Lots of people said that about my babies because it was true! Why is being large a good thing???

Marynary · 31/12/2016 12:53

your perceive you perceive

RebelRogue · 31/12/2016 12:54

Was she being accusatory or smth? I can't see how saying the baby is small can cause such an issue. Just say "i know " and move on. Why is his size so important to either of you that you feel the need to take cheap shots at eachother?

Oddbins · 31/12/2016 12:54

Fucks sake pick your battles

DontTouchTheMoustache · 31/12/2016 12:56

My baby was very large/chubby for a while, went up to 92nd percentile at 8 months but he has evened out now and is around 75th percentile. I got quite worried when people commented on how big he was that they thought I was an awful mum who was overfeeding her baby but now he is a more normal size I look back at how much worried and feel a bit ridiculous. Babies are all different and change so much in the first year.

Damselindestress · 31/12/2016 12:57

Two wrongs don't make a right. You sound like you are making digs yourself by referring to other babies being very large or bottle-fed. How is that any of your business? Just laugh off her comments about your DS's size or have a stock reply like "he is a perfectly healthy size thanks" and calmly repeat it like a broken record whenever the subject comes up so she gets bored because she's not getting a reaction. No reason to get into an argument.

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