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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's okay to be lazy?

55 replies

m0therofdragons · 29/12/2016 09:57

I don't mean all the time but everyone is constantly busy and when they don't do something it's always "I haven't had time to...." when really you did have time but preferred to do something else/couldn't be arsed. It feels like you're not allowed a lazy day.

I could have an immaculate house by cleaning every waking hour but I've not got the inclination and would rather binge watch The Good Wife!

Is this just me or does anyone else think "lazy" isn't always an insult?

OP posts:

nurseinwonderland · 29/12/2016 10:01

I have days when I slob around all day doing the minimum needed. Usually the day after a night shift. But then I have days (today will be one ) when the state of the house/amount of washing etc annoy me and I can't relax so I rush around getting everything tidied and then I can relax knowing I've tackled the things that need doing.

DamsonInDistress · 29/12/2016 10:02

I'm a fundamentally lazy person too. It's fine when there are no other commitments or when I'm the only person impacted, but it does become a habit and a hard one to break. It's very very hard if you have kids and they become affected too. So i try and have designated times only when I indulge my natural state otherwise it affects people other than myself, who don't really deserve it. I think being organised enough to timetable downtime is probably the very opposite of being actually lazy though, and true laziness is worthy of the disapproval imo.

WhooooAmI24601 · 29/12/2016 10:06

I'm hungover to the point of idiocy today (only 3 large wines last night at a wedding, so not even my own fault, really) and am planning to do precisely nothing til I have to take the dog to the vet this evening. Lazy days are good for the soul. I don't have them often as I work full time during term time, so the holidays are a great time to take a day off from everything. During term time everything is so manic I've not been allowed to get into the habit of being lazy (which I think I could easily do).

DH never has lazy days as he has no idea how to just 'be', he has to constantly be doing something and gets bored easily. It would make me ill to be like him.

Original poster

m0therofdragons · 29/12/2016 10:08

Maybe I've timetabled downtime - I like that phrase!

I just don't make excuses. Dh gets home from work occasionally I might say "never quite got round to shopping so we've nothing for dinner. Let's get takeout." It's currently 10am and I've been laying on the sofa cuddling a kitten for at least 30 mins - she's fast asleep and so cute! Dc are entertaining themselves but all in pjs. I'm off work this week but feels like we all need downtime today. Friends don't seem to do this, they're always going on about being too busy. I can't decide if I genuinely think kids need to do nothing sometimes or I've told myself that so I don't feel guilty. Dc seem happy enough not killing each other

OP posts:

Original poster

m0therofdragons · 29/12/2016 10:10

I work 30hours a week and have 3dc so being lazy often wouldn't work

OP posts:

Kitsandkids · 29/12/2016 10:19

I'm in my dressing gown and under a blanket on the sofa while the kids are doing goodness knows what (well I can hear one's on his keyboard and I think the other is on the PC) and are still in their pyjamas. They haven't even had breakfast yet. I would have given them it but they've not asked. I've got last night's washing up to do, dirty laundry to sort and put in the machine and a pile of ironing to do. I may get round to any or all of that at some point or I might not!

goingonabearhunt1 · 29/12/2016 10:27

I think people are really obsessed with competitive business these days. A lot of things you can actually get away with not doing, especially at home....but a lot of people seem to have guilt over it for some reason; like if they sit down for too long or don't get through a massive to-do list it's a sign of some moral failing. I think laziness can be good sometimes, it's gives us time to ponder. But this may be an unpopular opinion.

Badgerbird · 29/12/2016 10:29

OP I think it's reeeeeaaally important to have "down time" or pyjama days, for kids and adults! There is some sort of competitive busyness that goes on and it's not healthy.

We are a busy couple compared to our friends (their words) but then we are both self employed and been doing our own house renovations and we both enjoy it to be honest. But! I crash after a while. Still learning to slow down before that happens. We also enjoy doing absolutely nothing when we can :) sod the housework etc.

Kids don't need to be occupied all the time, it's important for them to learn to play on their own too. Enjoy your day!

Badgerbird · 29/12/2016 10:29

Ha ha bearhunt x post :) I agree!!

Squeegle · 29/12/2016 10:30

I am too lazy. I am single mum and work full time, but days like today I find it very difficult to get out of bed. Dcs are teenagers and they seem to have inherited my laziness too!

nurseinwonderland · 29/12/2016 10:48

I work 38 hours a week and have 2 DCs. I find the time to be lazy. I do my hours over 3 days though, so I get 4 days off a week. Things still get done, my DH does a lot. We tend to get annoyed by different things which works quite well, he'll do the dishes, washing, car and garden stuff and I'll do the other stuff.

ClopySow · 29/12/2016 10:51

I was telling my friend i wished i was less lazy and did more in my free time.

Her response was "you're one of the least lazy people i know. You work your arse off. You just really like relaxing when you're not busy"

I liked that.

goingonabearhunt1 · 29/12/2016 10:53

And I agree it's important for kids to relax as well, especially with school being so stressful these days (all the exams and testing and so on). There has to be a balance.

Plus.....I think I've had some of my best ideas when I've been doing nothing sat on my sofa

woodhill · 29/12/2016 10:57

I'm not dressed yet and I do feel guilty for being lazy TBH. Had surgery in November and still so tired.

I have done one important phone task though.

KatieScarlett · 29/12/2016 10:59

I make time to be lazy. Like today. House spotless, laundry done, family obligations over, fridge full. I fully intend to enjoy my lovely new dressing gown for as long as possible. Till tomorrow, when it begins all over again (3 birthdays, new year, back to work).

notagiraffe · 29/12/2016 11:05

Being lazy is very under-rated though I've noticed people get round it by saying they just wanted to chill this weekend. Meaning live in PJs, buy take outs, not get on with stuff.

Aderyn2016 · 29/12/2016 11:15

Lazy is my default position. My house is clean, my dc are fed decent meals, I keep on top of laundry and homework and take my dc to their after school activities but, I am not at all career focussed, cba to fill every moment with 'worthwhile' hobbies. I love watching boxsets and chilling in my house.
Agree that there is a competitive 'busyness' about people these days. No one is allowed to just 'be' or not have much interest in work - we are all supposed to do everything or be seen as less valuable to society.

QueenOfTheSardines · 29/12/2016 11:21

I am very lazy.

But actually, I'm not!

What it is, is that I'm either "on" or "off". So when I'm "on" I rush around and do stuff and get everything done superfast in a very efficient manner. Then I stop and slump and read and zone out totally. I sleep a lot as well.

I know lots of people who potter, I just can't do this at all. I am either doing something or not.

It's just a personality thing.

TBH with 2 kids + full time job I refuse to feel guilty about the fact that on days off I often do fuck all.

The other thing is that a lot of people seem to have different levels at which they consider it to be "doing something". For some it doesn't seem to "count" unless you've had a big day out involving trains and picnics and special attractions. I count it as "doing something" if I eg make a cake with the kids. So in the face of gloom about not "doing" much, simply shift the bar to include less impressive but still good stuff

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 29/12/2016 11:29

I think there is a difference between downtime and laziness. I work long hours and haven't had a proper break from work since August so I've give myself permission to do the bare minimum this break. I just need the rest. I also think my DC need a break as DS1 was picking up every bug going by the end of term and DS2 had a very short fuse.
Having said that, I will drag them out for a walk at some point today otherwise they are going to turn into vampires.

GiraffesAndButterflies · 29/12/2016 11:30

I grew up thinking that laziness (relaxing doing not much in the daytime) was a childish/teenage activity. My parents always had work/housework/hobby type activities to occupy them. It doesn't help either that their hobbies are almost indistinguishable from work. They'd rarely ever sit and read a book in the daytime or have a lie in past about 8.30. I've grown up thinking this is normal and I'm lazy for wanting to do anything different, it's very weird

QueenOfTheSardines · 29/12/2016 11:36

Giraffes mine are the same. They are always "getting on with" something.

QueenOfTheSardines · 29/12/2016 11:39

I think that for anyone on this thread it's a good thing to try and reflect honestly on what you've actually done, and to count "small" things. Because actually, doing stuff like feeding kids, keeping kitchen under control are all work it's just we often discount them in our minds as they have to be done and it's all the time and they're not fun.

Whenever I sit and think about what I've actually done I realise that I haven't actually literally been sitting on my arse the whole time, I have done stuff, and that stuff did take some effort, IYSWIM.

Having parents like Giraffe's, I need to do this sometimes to over-ride my general feeling that I never do anything.

HardLightHologram · 29/12/2016 11:41

I am terminally lazy. It drives my mother mad.

I'm a sahm with kids at school. I fill my days with a 4 mile school run (in total), a bit of light housework, occasionally going to town on the bus and to therapy, and mainly watching Netflix.

I am happy. The kids are happy. Dh is happy. I do have busy days but they have to be spaced out because it triggers my bipolar, so I've learned that laziness is essential for my mental health.

My mum is constantly on the go, she's retired but still gets up at sparrows fart to hoover and dust everyday and fills her days with busyness. It's just down to personality I reckon.

HardLightHologram · 29/12/2016 11:41

Yes yes to the counting the small things. It's something I've learned to do.

MrsJayy · 29/12/2016 11:45

Some people just can't sit on their arse other people think children should be entertained all day. I think just doing nothing is fine busy busy people exhaust me .saying that I have to move today i have slobbed since boxing day and feel like im stagnating

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