To think it's okay to be lazy?

[m0therofdragons]

I don't mean all the time but everyone is constantly busy and when they don't do something it's always "I haven't had time to...." when really you did have time but preferred to do something else/couldn't be arsed. It feels like you're not allowed a lazy day.

I could have an immaculate house by cleaning every waking hour but I've not got the inclination and would rather binge watch The Good Wife!

Is this just me or does anyone else think "lazy" isn't always an insult?

I love the phrase of a pp - my default position is also laziness! Always has been, always will be.

I do what I need to (work 4 days a week, ferry the DC around to various activities 4 evenings a week and both weekend mornings, cooking, washing etc) but rarely do anything I don't HAVE to do

My fave times are slobbing at home in my pj's doing nothing- crap on the telly, phone in my hand etc.

I do feel guilty at weekends sometimes as our default Sunday afternoon position is now to do nothing whereas, when the DC were younger, we always seemed to be out at the park, day trips etc. However, the DC both have busy lives, long days at school due to breakfast and after school clubs followed by activities into the evening, I don't think they mind or that is what I tell myself

I love this thread. I feel terrible guilt when I do nothing all day. 3 young DC's and a part time job and lots of after school activities and homework means I rarely stop for a cup of tea most days.

Since Boxing Day we haven't ventured out of the house. That sounds awful and actually I wish I'd had the energy to take them out somewhere but everyone's happy playing with new Christmas presents and watching films on TV. I am really enjoying not rushing around and just have no energy now. I've peaked and crashed!

I don't see it as lazy or something to be guilty about. I'm good at relaxing - that's how I see it. I find people who have to be busy all the time bloody annoying that. Especially when they won't just leave their kids be.

Yesterday I sat with my kindle and started to read one of the books dh loaded to it for Christmas and I felt guilty as it was day time and I was looking after 3dc (who were happily playing).
Maybe after having young dc demanding stuff constantly I am readjusting to primary age dc who can be told to leave me to read for 30minutes. I was cross with myself for feeling guilty that I was reading on my day off! My mum can never sit down then complains she never gets a break.

This business about how some things are better than others.

I don't get it.

Why is outdoors better than indoors, for example?

I mean I can say things like fresh air, exercise. But I don't really get it. I mean, is there a logical reason, rather than sort of emotional and value-judgementy type stuff?

Say you did an hour of dancing in the house vs an hour of walking outside. The dancing would probably be more exercise unless the walk was all uphill But the outdoors activity is more "wholesome" somehow. What's that all about?

Why are outdoors things "better" than indoors things?

I am an indoor person, that goes without saying.

My parents are forever going for a walk.

This is another thing I have been raised to feel guilty about.

I love doing nothing.
I do not feel guilty

I went on a course once which explained how different sorts of people get their energy from different things.

Some enjoy going out, doing things, speaking to people all day and this leaves them feeling energetic and fulfilled whereas others need a lot of just sitting enjoying solitude otherwise it really affects their mental wellbeing. That is now my go to excuse for doing things like watching a film in the middle of the day while the kids are at school instead of getting the Hoover out! I'm also now pregnant which is another wonderful excuse for my laziness!

But, my kids are always fed, bathed when needed, read to at bedtime, go to school in clean uniform and with their homework done, so I do get the essentials done!

Also, some people I think make work for themselves. When I was at uni there were always people on my course dashing off to do work every lunch time. I have no idea what they did. My assignments were always done on time (often after pulling an all nighter the night before) and didn't seem to contain any less work than theirs. Yes I should have started on them a bit earlier but these people were working every lunch break as well as evenings and weekends. What were they actually doing?!

I Am being lazy today OP, I am in my PJ's and have done nothing of any significence yet other than post on MN (and even that has worn me out ) There is plenty of time to be busy next week when the kids go back to school and the working week commences! Enjoy 😊

In fact, just to emphasise how lazy I am being today, I have just texted my DD to come downstairs and make DH and I a cuppa!

I work best in bursts and get lots done in small periods of time - career is all about working to tight deadlines and that's great for me. I'm the same with housework. I'd rather rush round getting loads done in an hour than potter all day.

I always wondered that too Kits! Maybe they were doing loads of extra reading?

And agree with pps about the guilt often coming from childhood. Me and my DSis are both pretty inactive and I think it may be a reaction to growing up with our DM who was one of those 'never sit still' people with 99 million hobbies. This might be why I see myself as 'lazy' as I only have probably one hobby and I don't play any sport or anything like that. In my spare time, I mostly I just like to watch films and read and go on walks (v ambly type walks, not often proper hikes!) My DM was always trying to get me to do sports and signing me up to various things when I was a kid and I was never particularly keen

Oooh dc aren't at the making a cuppa stage yet. That must be amazing. Many friends seem to serve their dc like they're staff. Dd wants a drink so they get up from their half-eaten meal to get it. I love my dc and if one was choking then I'd get them a drink but otherwise they can wait until I've eaten.

But only halfway as too lazy to lift fully.
I feel lazy a lot of the time. I'm an avid reader as is DM, I was brought up to find it acceptable to lose hours at a time in the name of a new book, I've kept this tradition going.

I LOVE someone's saying that I am either 'on' or 'off' literally no in between. DH and my best friend are incessant fucking potterers who make me feel guilty for sitting still. We all achieve the same level of cleanliness, but I prefer the whirling dervish approach.

I'm currently buried under toys and mess.
But, I've got a horrid cold, I also work around 50 hours a week (plus WFH) so I think I deserve a veg imo

Haha, Mother well it can be amazing, but its rather more like ordering a coffee from a ridiculously slow cafe. I am still waiting for the kettle to be switched on, apparently teenage DD needs 5 mins to get ready first , god knows why, its a coffee! Not an oscar speech.

Yes you're right. When I had my op, my DM suggested I did x,y,z whilst I recuperated. I just wanted to rest, read and watch crap tv. Why do I have to do anything
.

She's always doing something, gets on my nerves, leave me alone.

I don't get the obsession with being busy all the time either! I look after my toddler, make sure the house is half decent but the rest of the time me and DP are relaxing/slobbing/watching/gaming and we love it. I do feel the need to make stuff up to certain people as they are so judgy and it makes life easier, but here I can be proud...

Hoorah I have found my people DH is always doing stuff, he only ever relaxes after the kids are in bed, always tidying or doing work or some kind. As for me I've taken the baby upstairs for his nap and am lying on the bed with him reading and on MN. I may stay here a while

I guess it all depends on what you mean by lazy. The people on here who work 40-50 hrs a week are not lazy, regardless of how they spend their time when they are not working. There are simply not enough hours left to count as lazy!

I have 5dc. I'm a SAHM and home ed 3 of them. People always say to me that I must be so busy and tired. Sometimes I lie and say that I'm rushed off my feet just so they don't look at me strangely.

I like an easy life. I do lots of things that I enjoy. I feel relaxed because I do very little of what I would consider work. I'm easily pleased and I'm very content with my life. I feel very aware that we are not on this earth for very long and I want to be remembered as a good mother, loving wife, loyal friend etc. Not as a good housekeeper and hard worker. So I put my energy into the things that are important to me.

I do housework, but then so does DH and the dc. I do an hour a day maximum, in 10 minute chunks. It will be messy again tomorrow anyway!
I garden
I read
I teach the dc
I cook
I bake
I do diy
I crochet
I help with homework
I walk
I drive
I watch movies
I have early nights with DH
I sleep

I appreciate that my time is not taken up by caring for sick or elderly relatives etc and that I'm very lucky to have a supportive DH. (I know lots of people have obligations that put a huge burden on them, so I don't mean them.) But some seem to actively thrive on making themselves busy and then moaning about it.

I don't consider myself lazy, but my DM thinks that because I'm not running around with a dustbuster and getting DH's tea on the table the second he walks in, that I'm some sort of slob. My DGM can't comprehend that I don't iron! Some people like to make work for themselves. I feel for them.

Btw, as I appear to have found my people - Netflix is an acceptable hobby isn't it?

I have given dc lunch and taken dd1 to the stables, dd2&3 are asleep in the car after a 5 minute drive. I'm sitting in the car outside my house on mn wishing a kind neighbour would make me a cup of tea. Stupid selfish neighbours minding their own business and ignoring my dilemma.

My laziness has continued, DH is off out to collect a Papa johns pizza for dinner soon!

I stupidly planned to cook as we have guests. Will have to pretend not to be lazy for the next few days. Maybe I can persuade them to join in with a pj day but judging by the other thread complaining about turning up to find host in pjs I'm assuming that's out of the question. Can dc be in pjs? They changed from pjs to onesies. secretly jealous of my 5 year olds

mother, wear your PJs with pride! If you are judged for it, then they are just not your people, which is rather more their problem than yours.

What a lovely thread. I love being lazy!

I agree with so many of the comments. I think busyness is seen as a badge of honour nowadays and it drives me bonkers when it becomes a competition between friends to see who's been 'doing' the most with their time.

My flat is not a complete pigsty but I definitely don't spend a lot of time doing housework (think the last time I ironed something was for an interview about 3 years ago!) Also I am lucky in that my DP does his share so I'm not left doing it all. My job is not especially stressful so I wouldn't say I work massively hard there either and I've never been hugely career minded. Like happy I'm content with my life and like things fairly simple.

Obviously some would find my life dull as everyone is different but it just seems like the dominant ideology is you must be ambitious/driven/active all the time and if you aren't then it's seen as a bad thing. That annoys me slightly as I kind of feel like I have to justify myself and make up stuff to make my week sound more impressive (as pps have said)

I have to say this thread has made me feel a lot better!