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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Meeting an old teacher for coffee?

80 replies

Flabbyghast · 23/12/2016 10:11

Would it be wrong to form a friendship with an old teacher and to meet for coffee?

We met up again at a school reunion last weekend (the first one I've been to ever) and she's given me her phone number. I seriously wouldn't be where I am today if it hadn't been for this woman. I've had no contact with her for 15 years as I moved from that school.

I wouldn't be asking - I totally would go and do it as I associate this woman with safety, security, strength. I bloody love her. I am so grateful she was part of an otherwise shitty childhood. However, my best friend thinks the whole thing is weird. She wanted me to rip up the phone number and says that it's not normal a teacher would give their phone number to an ex-pupil.

I get it's probably not the norm, but there's nothing wrong with it is there? It's coffee between two adults. AIBU to think my best friend is being a bit of a knob over this and needs to butt out?

OP posts:
DaisyDando · 23/12/2016 10:13

You are a grown up now. It's not weird.

Heratnumber7 · 23/12/2016 10:13

Of course it's not wrong. Why would it be?

Calling her by her first name and not "Miss" is wrong though. Very wrong Grin

3penguins · 23/12/2016 10:13

I don't think there's a problem 15 years on. She sounds lovely - just ignore your friend and go for a coffee.

HardToDeal · 23/12/2016 10:14

I'd say that was fine - I've worked with ex-pupils before and it's not weird!

40somethingwonderful · 23/12/2016 10:15

You're both adults. Go for it.

JennyOnAPlate · 23/12/2016 10:15

Not weird at all!

midcenturymodern · 23/12/2016 10:15

15 years on is not weird. The day you were leaving might be a bit History Boys but you are very much a grown up now.

Quaggan · 23/12/2016 10:17

It's been 15years since I was taught by one teacher but he was utterly brilliant and I wouldn't be where I was without him today and I've stayed in contact with him all this time, we used to meet up for tea, but now we live in different countries we write to each other about once a month, he was even at my wedding! Not weird at all, I still call him Mr X though not first name Grin

Celticlassie · 23/12/2016 10:19

That's not weird at all. I'd go for coffee with an ex pupil (am a teacher). Your friend sounds quite immature.

MeetMeAtMidnight · 23/12/2016 10:19

Your friend is weird. It's coffee after 15 years with someone who was a big part of your life and who you describe as a positive influence on you. How lovely that she remembered you and wants to catch up.

ICanCountToOneHundred · 23/12/2016 10:21

I am friends with one of my old teachers, she was a lovely supportive teacher and we stayed in touch. i even call her by her first name and everything Grin. Go for it! Not odd in any way.

ScarlettDarling · 23/12/2016 10:22

Your friend is bizarre...why on earth would it be odd? I'm a primary teacher and one of the girls who was in my first ever class now teaches in my school. We've become good friends...is that odd? Sounds like a lovely idea to meet for coffee.

Tenshidarkangel · 23/12/2016 10:28

Not weird. Your friend BU.

Your an adult. The rules are in place to protect CHILDREN. Go for it and enjoy it. Think it's probably really rewarding for teachers to see the adults the children they taught have grown into.

BlossomCat · 23/12/2016 10:31

Not weird at all. It's lovely that two grown adults can be friends. It's your friend that has the weird attitude.

Ditsyprint40 · 23/12/2016 10:33

Definitely go! I've got the email address of one who meant a lot to me, and I've always wanted to drop her an email, but feel silly!

Bumbleclat · 23/12/2016 10:34

I collect mentors because my mum was unable to be a mother in the traditional sense of the word. I have many amazing older women in my life who have become friends and helped me immeasurably.
Go for it..

Namechangebitch · 23/12/2016 10:34

I am a teacher and I have remained in contact with some students.

After several years two have become family friends, the know my kids we visit each others houses.

I am VERY careful how I do this and who I do it with. However, I very much value these friendships, they feel like extra children.

exexpat · 23/12/2016 10:36

My mother is a retired teacher and she has stayed in touch with a number of former pupils for decades - even had them to stay etc.

Nothing at all weird about it.

pasturesgreen · 23/12/2016 10:37

Not weird at all. Your friend is being odd about it.

I had lunch with one of my former teachers not long ago, and remained in contact with a few more. I'd say it's perfectly reasonable.

SirChenjin · 23/12/2016 10:39

Not weird at all - go and have a lovely time (and tell your friend to shh)

DownAmongtheElves · 23/12/2016 10:39

It's a lovely idea. Those of us who teach really get a blast out of hearing from ex-students, particularly if our teaching helped them. Go to coffee with her, & make sure the treats are on you! It's a really kind & lovely idea.

Wellitwouldbenice · 23/12/2016 10:40

2 adults meeting for coffee. Someone phone the police. And social services.

SantasJockstrap · 23/12/2016 10:41

You are not being unreasonable

Cariadity · 23/12/2016 10:41

I'm a teacher and I now work in my old secondary school. I have tea with my old teachers everyday and it was a little weird to begin with but now I'm treated as an equal since I'm a professional in my own right. I haven't been teaching long enough for any of my pupils to have "grown up" yet but I'd love to know how they turn out.

LauraTheCucumber · 23/12/2016 10:42

I'm now good friends with an old maths teacher. But even after all of these (many, many) years I cannot call her Maggie, even though she keep asking. I just have to address her as Mrs Black. I can't help it!

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