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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He never bloody asks!!!

61 replies

Msqueen33 · 18/12/2016 15:23

I've never been keen to share my food or drink. The kids often want me to share which I do through sufferance and because they'd keep on nagging. Despite knowing this my dh has taken to just helping himself to my food. Say I pour a bowl of crisps instead of asking (I'm forcing myself to offer more and share without grumbling) he just takes! I've asked him numerous times to be polite and ask but he never does. AIBU to want him to ask?

OP posts:
VeryBitchyRestingFace · 18/12/2016 15:25

Are you sitting there cradling the bowls of crisps when he dips in?

Or are they lying on the coffee table?

What does he say when you raise the subject?

TheNewSchmoo · 18/12/2016 15:26

To be honest, if someone popped crisps in a bowl, I'd assume they were for sharing....

Whatsername17 · 18/12/2016 15:26

Just get him a bowl at the same time. My dh does the whole 'dh doesn't share food' thing (but likes to share mine). I tell him if he doesn't want to share to buy/make me food at the same time as he makes his own!

Costacoffeeplease · 18/12/2016 15:38

A bowl of crisps is for sharing, if you want to keep them to yourself, get an individual packet

Happybunny19 · 18/12/2016 15:41

Learn to bloody share! I'm shocked that someone would only share food and drink with their own children under sufferance. I would, and often do, give my dcs my stuff they always seem to covet, that's motherhood.

What happens with a tin of quality street in your house?

Original poster
Msqueen33 · 18/12/2016 15:42

We're talking a small kids size bowl. Whenever I offer normally he'll say no. This time I had just popped the crisps and he swooped in and took some. Last time it was asking him to pass me my open can of Coke and he swigged loads before giving it to me.

Had the crisps been a big bowl fair enough.

He just gets annoyed when I ask him could he please just ask before he takes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Msqueen33 · 18/12/2016 15:43

Happy I don't like sharing with the kids as two have coeliac so can't actually eat what I'm having and it's mainly something specific I've brought for myself.

OP posts:
Sparlklesilverglitter · 18/12/2016 15:44

TBH if DH came in with a bowl of crisps I'd assume they were there for sharing not only for him to stuff

Just in the same way when I sat eating a white tolberone earlier DH didn't need to ask to have a piece.

I find it weird when people make there partners ask if they can have a crisp. I understand not taking off someone's plate if it's an actual meal but when it's a crisp I don't get it

EatTheCake · 18/12/2016 15:45

Taking off a partners plate from a proper meal, is rude

Taking a crisp from a bowl, I don't see this issue Confused it's a crisp

NotStoppedAllDay · 18/12/2016 15:45

Seriously? How petty!

Assume he earns and contributes?

Oblomov16 · 18/12/2016 15:46

I hate sharing crisps. Does anyone want any? A bag of hula hoops/ shall I pour some into a bowl for you too?
Because if you say no and then tell me you want mine, I don't like it!! Angry

bloodyteenagers · 18/12/2016 15:46

If it's a small bowl, why bother with the faff. Just open packet and eat.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 18/12/2016 15:46

He just gets annoyed when I ask him could he please just ask before he takes.

I couldn't imagine making a family member stand on ceremony over a bowl of crisps. Confused

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/12/2016 15:47

Okay you have a few choices:

  1. LTB
  2. Kill him and claim temporary insanity

I feel your pain OP Angry

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/12/2016 15:47

You don't help yourself to something that someone else is eating - get your own!

Happybunny19 · 18/12/2016 15:48

YABU, sharing is caring. Plus you didn't mention a medical reason with your dcs in your op, just the fact you don't like sharing. I teach my dcs it's rude not to share.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 18/12/2016 15:48

Aside from the children's food allergies which I understand you need to monitor like a hawk, I think you are a little unreasonable. To share is to care Msqueen!

Does your husband have to say please before every crisp? Grin

Pinkheart5915 · 18/12/2016 15:49

I can't imagine ever making DH stand there and ask politely for one of my crisps Confused

I agree with others if it's an actual meal it's of course rude to take food but if it's a bowl of crisps what's the problem

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/12/2016 15:49

I think it's rude to be forced to share but I'm guessing I'm in a minority Grin

GertrudeBelle · 18/12/2016 15:53

Were you an only child OP or have other background which means that sharing is a problem for you?

Otherwise you are being totally unreasonable. It is one of the perks of family life that everyone shares.

Chewbecca · 18/12/2016 15:56

YABU. Some rules:

Crisps in bowl = shared crisps
Crisps with packet very carefully torn open = shared crisps
Crisps in packet with only the top seam open = crisps for one person

Revealall · 18/12/2016 15:57

It's NOT the sharing that's an issue.
Can't anyone read.
Op offers them and he says no.
It that he just helps himself to her portion.

Zero respect.

Sneeze on them.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/12/2016 15:57

Isn't the whole point of sharing that it is generous and therefore it is something that the sharer chooses to do? I would never help myself to anyone else's food or other stuff and I would feel awkward about asking. If you feel like sharing then do but people shouldn't presume

diddl · 18/12/2016 16:02

"Just get him a bowl at the same time."

Why can't he get his own bowl if he wants some?

If it's not an individual packet of crisps, it's not unusual to decant rather than eat from the packet, is it?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/12/2016 16:06

Crisps in a bowl are just crisps in a bowl unless they are offered around Grin