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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

sex etiquette 2 (different op)

89 replies

witchofzog · 03/12/2016 19:33

Following on from the sex etiquette thread aibu to ask how many people feel like this. I was in a conversation with 3 friends this week. 2 don't have kids yet but planning to ttc soon, the other is a single mum to a 10 year old dd.

They all unanimously agreed that it is wrong to have sex when a dc is in the house. Even if that dc is a baby or fast asleep. One of the pre dc women said she would never consider it and that is what grandparent babysitting duty is for. The other said she would wait forever than taint the house while a dc was asleep. The single mum said she and her ex dh never did it when their dd was there though their dd tended to go to her parents most weekends

I was left feeling like a pervert because if the dc are asleep in another room I don't get why not. Wtf. Surely there can't be many people who feel like them?

OP posts:
chaplin1409 · 03/12/2016 19:35

Wow I have 4 children and we have no body to have the kids I suppose if we followed that rule we would never of had 4 kids.

Patriciathestripper1 · 03/12/2016 19:36

We are at it all the time when the dcs are in bed. When else are you supposed to do it??

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/12/2016 19:37

They sound very odd.

talksensetome · 03/12/2016 19:37

When the kids are asleep I have sex in a different room. I take a lot of care to be quiet now that DS is 11 though incase he wakes up.

Original poster
witchofzog · 03/12/2016 19:37

I know!! I think if most people felt like this the world would be full of only children

OP posts:
Original poster
witchofzog · 03/12/2016 19:38

Gosh yes. Always quieter and more mindful. But to stop altogether?

OP posts:
usual · 03/12/2016 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thewolfsjustapuppy · 03/12/2016 19:39

Sorry OP but your friends are bonkers

SquedgieBeckenheim · 03/12/2016 19:40

If we lived by that logic, we'd have only been able to have sex on one occasion over the 2 and a half years DD has been alive!
Not everyone has babysitters on standby...

Ameliablue · 03/12/2016 19:41

I don't think many people would still be married or have more children if most people followed this.

Thewolfsjustapuppy · 03/12/2016 19:41

And quite hilariously prudish

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/12/2016 19:42

If we had to wait until our child was 'not in the house' to have sex, my partner and I would still not have had sex since the baby arrived (well over a year ago). Don't get me wrong, it's not the loud, proud, swing around the room it used to be (Grin), but we have zero babysitting on hand, and needs must (discreetly). You're friends are a bit mad, and the ones yet to have kids will soon learn.

Original poster
witchofzog · 03/12/2016 19:42

Thank God for mn. I was made to feel like I was the bonkers one. I never had a babysitter when mine was small. We would never have done it again if we had lived by my friends rules.

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 03/12/2016 19:43

*Your friends even...

Datun · 03/12/2016 19:45

Most people would never have sex again, if that was the case.

Keep the whooping down, pull the headboard a few inches away from the wall so it doesn't bang and get a lock on the door.

Toadinthehole · 03/12/2016 19:46

Whaat? Are you serious?

We have just about no babysitters and no nearby family, so if we had been of the same opinion we would have had no sex for over a decade.

Last night we DTD and after finishing I realised that one of the kids' bedroom lights was still on. I've no idea if we were heard, and frankly I don't care either (we aren't terribly loud anyway).

WellErrr · 03/12/2016 19:46

I'm sorry - what the fuck?

ShowMePotatoSalad · 03/12/2016 19:47

Sorry that just sounds like excuses being made not to have sex. Because presumably it happens very, very rarely.

ClopySow · 03/12/2016 19:48

Sorry OP but your friends are bonkers

Well, actually...

John4703 · 03/12/2016 19:50

I was wondering how a hundred years ago when many poor families all lived in one room they managed to have families of five or six children.
If the children are asleep, or watching TV or whatever in a different room enjoy it.

NoFanJoe · 03/12/2016 19:51

That's how they're saying they would behave. It sounds really odd to me.

Soubriquet · 03/12/2016 19:51

If I waited for children to be babysat I would have sex once a year...if that!

They are lucky to have grandparents on hand

Original poster
witchofzog · 03/12/2016 19:52

I was wtaf too. But the 3 against one made me ask just in case. It's batshit crazy really

OP posts:
TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 03/12/2016 19:52

taint the house.??? wtaf??

there's someone with a screwed up attitude to sex right there

Toadinthehole · 03/12/2016 19:54

john

Given the lack of privacy and good health, together with the lack of contraception, I'd say they had sex five or six times.

Like the in The Meaning of Life.