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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas lights and the neighbours

122 replies

rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 19:27

I really need some mumsnet perspective here as to whether I ABU.

We have lived in our current house for 3 years this will be our 4th christmas here. Every year we have put outside lights up on our house and decorated our windows so they look nice to the outside.

The first year 5 days after putting our net lights up the next door neighbors brought some fair enough I thought maybe they liked mine and wanted their house to look nice too. Ever since then they have brought exactly the same as what we have and it has started to really annoy me as I like to be different.

Then comes this year they have decorated their house like it is a landing pad for aeroplanes and they have gone totally over the top. I went out the front as they were out there and was having a friendly chat with them and talking about the lights and the lady who lives there said well we decided to do the lights like this because we didn't want to be in your shadow anymore. I don't really know how to take that?

The lights aren't the only thing they copy us with though we brought a new car they brought a new car not the same make but a 4x4 like ours, she has started dressing her dd the same as I dress mine (they go to the same nursery) we redid our front garden they did, we brought the kids some outdoor play equipment they did, we brought a new bbq they did you get the picture they copy is down to a T.

I am actually really angry about it all but my dh says that I should let it go and be flattered they want to be like us so mumsnet jury what do you think AIBU?

OP posts:
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RichardBucket · 01/12/2016 20:39

YABU

Why do you care if she's copying you?

Why do you need to be "different", and why are you upset when she copies you AND upset when she does something different? Confused

Just go about your business and stop paying attention to what the neighbours do.

BitOutOfPractice · 01/12/2016 20:44

I know the Christmas lights seem a bit trivial

Yes. Yes it does. It all does to be honest.

mathanxiety · 01/12/2016 20:48

None of the things you say they bought or redid are unusual items for a family with children, a house, and a garden.

People with kids drive 4x4s, people who like grilled meats have BBQs in their gardens, many middle class people have middle class taste in clothes, buy MC brands, styles, etc.

PunkrockerGirl · 01/12/2016 20:50

I don't get why this is on your radar, op. It's stuff, it doesn't matter. Concentrate on your family, that's what's important. Loads of us have lost family members and Christmas is going to be fucking hard this year. I'd willingly extinguish all the Christmas lights in the world to spend another day with my mum, dad and brother this year. Please put it into perspective.

MycatsaPirate · 01/12/2016 20:51

We moved into our home last year. We have got lots of lights and the family over the road go mad with lights as well. We are the only two houses in the street who bother. They currently have their boat on a trailer on the front drive and I've told him that I will be disappointed if it's not decked out in fairy lights.

We love having a drive round the streets known for going mad with lights nearer christmas. One street in particular makes the local papers because it rivals Blackpool illuminations. They raise thousands for charity.

I think you are bu and need to channel Elsa.

smurfest · 01/12/2016 20:55

A lot of people have lights at christmas these days, does it matter?

Thinking about it one of our neighbours bought the same car as us - make, model and colour. It honestly wouldn't occur to me to find that annoying.

Original poster
rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 20:57

punkrockergirl I do understand that losing loved ones is hard and Christmas can be an especially hard time for them. I lost my ddad 5 years ago and hated that first Christmas but christmas was his 'thing' and he loved it so I try to do the same as what he did for me, my dB and dsis when we were children for my children. I have also hard my fair share of hardship in my life and my experiences have helped me to help others in my community with the same thing.

OP posts:
Summerwood1 · 01/12/2016 20:58

Reminds me of that drama called 'Christmas lights'. It was on a few years ago with Robson Green!

Bitlost · 01/12/2016 20:58

Apart from the OTT decorations, they seem to be doing pretty normal things: buying a car, dressing their DD. Are you sure they're copying you?

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected · 01/12/2016 21:02

Don't let it wind you up - it is actually a silent but very obvious compliment to you.
Over the years I have had neighbours like this, and a lot of it is down to pecking order / keeping up with the Jones's. There's nothing you can do about it, apart from remembering the above or selling up (which is a bit extreme!).

TheABC · 01/12/2016 21:03

Go handmade. That will fox them!

Original poster
rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 21:04

summerwood1 I understand that yes they are normal things to do as I am doing them! They are copying us because they always get the exact same thing as we get or do the exact same thing as us within a week of us doing said thing. I wouldn't mind if they were just upgrading but why the exact same thing as what we have?

OP posts:
MiladyThesaurus · 01/12/2016 21:05

Is this you and your neighbour?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=g1A2uWWF1ZU

RoseGoldHippie · 01/12/2016 21:06

What impact does it actually have on your life OP?

Lunde · 01/12/2016 21:11

You could have a lot of fun with this and see what crazy things you could get them to copy.

FYI - I saw a 6 feet plus illuminated inflatable Olaf (frozen) the other day in someone's garden if you need inspiration Wink

Original poster
rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 21:11

MiladyThesaurus no definitely not mine are much more tasteful than thatWink

OP posts:
Original poster
rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 21:12

6ft olaf you say..........

OP posts:
ChoudeBruxelles · 01/12/2016 21:13

I think you need something else to occupy yourself with

Blatherskite · 01/12/2016 21:16

YABU to not know the difference between bought and brought

Christmas lights and the neighbours
Halloweensnake · 01/12/2016 21:17

Our neighbours played loud music all...ALL ....through the time my kids were revising for their GCSES...want to swap?

user1477282676 · 01/12/2016 21:19

Where did they "bring" these lights to OP? And the car...where was that BROUGHT to?

Sorry to point this out and I know people will knock me for it...but it's BOUGHT

Not BROUGHT

Original poster
rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 21:20

No thanks Haloweensnake that must have been awful for you. Apart from the odd party we are lucky with noise in our neighbourhood.

OP posts:
MiladyThesaurus · 01/12/2016 21:20

You say 'tasteful' but I refuse to imagine anything less than this:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=0ar-__ub0rc

FannyWincham · 01/12/2016 21:20

Oh God. bought bought bought

user1477282676 · 01/12/2016 21:20

As to your issue.

If you don't want them copying you, buy a big statue of Trump and put that outside. You'll find they won't copy that I'm sure.