About who has their own room?

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

My DH and I are not sure what's the fair thing to do here.
We have 2 boys, 1 girl. DS1 is 13yrs, DS2 is 8yrs and DD is nursery age. We have 1 box room, and 1 smallish double room between them.
Currently DS1 has the box room. I think that he needs to swap with DD, and the boys share the double room.

DS1 insists he needs the room to himself. DS2 says he wants to share with DS1 now, not DD. They are all quite close to each other, though recently DD has been waking DD2 up early.
DH says DD won't like to sleep alone (probably true)

To complicate things a bit more, DS1 isnt at school. He has a series of online tutors.
DS2 and DD attend primary / nursery. DS2 is currently under assessment.

What should sleep where?

Sorry, auto correct. Who should sleep where?

I think the boys should share and your daughter should have box room

I think the boys should share and the girl have the box room. If not now, then within a year.

I think you have a little longer before they need to swap, but I think in the long term you are right - the 2 boys will have to share.

Tricky, because DD1 is going through that awkward teenager stage. Any chance of baby being in with you?

If not, I'd put DS's in together..

Yeah the boys should be sharing. Your DD may not like it a lot first but at her age will quickly adapt to the change. There's no law on how old opposite see children can be before they have to stop sharing but the NSPCC recommends no older then 10 years old for kids sharing a room with the opposite sex

Agree with everyone else. Your boys need to share and your dd to have the single room.
I might consider giving them the largest room and me having the smaller double though, as, as adults we tend to only use our rooms to go to bed, but teens live in their rooms, so need more space for a desk, etc., than adults tend to.

I disagree - I think a teenage boy should have his own room for a bit longer.

Agree with BackforGood

I'm going to go against the other posters and say that the 13 year old needs the room to himself, and the two younger ones should share. Making a teen share with a little kid isn't fair. Your DD isn't old enough to want or need privacy, your 13 year old is.

I think the teenager should have their own room or put dd in with you and give both boys their own rooms.

Is your own room bigger , in which case divide that into 2 for the boys , daughter in the box room and you have the small double . At 13 your eldest needs his own space , particularly as he is used to having it , can I ask why he isn't at school - is it choice or an issue as that also may be relevant as he needs somewhere to work .

The teenager needs his own room imo.

I would wait a couple more years with the status quo, but by the time DS2 is 10/11 I would have him share with his brother.

I think I would give DS1 the box room with a decent desk if possible (or a workspace elsewhere) and then use room dividing furniture (that is not going to topple over) to zone the double for the other two. However, I would not be sure what to do when ds2 gets a couple of years older, so you might in fact be better to leave the two boys in together. Oh I don't know..

Any possibility of temporarily splitting one of the doubles into two small singles?

We moved to a sofa bed in the living room to enable our three DDs, now aged 17, 16 and 7, to all have their own bedrooms. It makes for more peace.

Really they all need their own room. The age gaps are too large for it to work any other way

Your DD will get used to sleeping alone. DS1 will get the shared bedroom to himself during the day, I don't see that as a complication.

Other option is to give them the (presumably) largest bedroom, and you and your DH move into the second room. That way they'll have more space, maybe you could even put up a partition?

This is the exact dynamics I had when growing up, 2 DB shared despite being eight years apart, I had the box room being the only girl. It's the only way.

DS number 1 is never going to give up the single room if he has it now, potentially down the line with you could have a 20 year old with his own room and a 15 year old boy and 10 year old girl sharing. Do it now.

Taking chewbecca's idea a step further, if the bedroom you are in is a bigger room, could you swap rooms into the smaller double, and split the bigger double into 2 singles (using bookcases or similar)? Then your ds's could have one each and your DD the single.

Yes, when we moved into our house (as a couple) the house was 4 bedrooms but one of the double rooms was divided up into 2 smaller ones so it had two doors, two windows (although only a small window in one of them a bit higher than the original window in the other half) and then two radiators. The wall was only a plasterboard job so when we moved in and wanted one big room for a lodger it came down easily. It still has two doors, two windows and two radiators but just one person occupying it.
Could be the perfect solution and not too pricey.

liz70 We are in the living room on a sofa bed. We did it 2 years ago when our DD moved into a toddler bed.

Floral We had a lot of issues with school and DS1. In the end we pulled him out. Best decision ever!

If your room is bigger, I would put in a dividing wall and give it to the boys.

If not, you could try to divide the smaller double and give it to the boys. If you don't wan to put in an actual wall, you could put bunk beds in the middle, each bed with half a wall attached to it (bed to ceiling on one side and bed to floor on the other) so that that the room is completely divided.

Re the just splitting it up with a bookcase or similar. My parents did that for me and my sis and I had to still listen to her god awful music and going to bed at a different time as she worked nights and me days (16 & 17 ys old) so the light was a bother so if you can I would definitely suggest actually putting a mock wall up for privacy or a door leading into the other if easier but would mean one walking through all the time.