To think I eat healthily? My DH doesn't!

[Virtualcareerchanger]

I think I eat a well balanced healthy diet. Me and DH are trying to get fit and I said I don't need to change what I eat I just need to start exercising, however my DH disagrees and thinks we need to cut out carbs as carbs are sugar. He said he thinks we eat too much carbs and dairy. I thought I would bring this to the mumsnet aibu jury. Here is what I have eaten (and DH) over the last two days. Am I being unreasonable to think this is fine for someone trying to eat healthily?

Day 1
Breakfast: porridge oats made with semi skimmed milk a teaspoon of honey and 3 tablespoons of blueberries
Lunch: cheese salad sandwich on wholemeal bread with a scraping of vitalight spread, a raw carrot and an apple
Snack: a banana
Dinner: salmon, sweet potato and brocoli

Day 2
Breakfast: porridge oats with semi skimmed milk a teaspoon of honey and 3 tablespoons of raspberries
Lunch: tin of carrot and butterbean soup, a wholemeal roll with a scraping of vitalight spread, an orange
Snack: raisins and almonds
Dinner: homemade Thai chicken curry with rice

Sounds healthy to me. Are you overweight? "Getting fit" is definitely about exercise whereas "losing weight" is more about diet.

Sounds perfectly balanced and healthy. Sweet pots are very healthy. All the celebs (lol) rave about them!

Sounds like a sensible balanced diet. Too many people think that carbs are the enemy, cut them out to lose weight but this is unsustainable and then start eating them again, gain weight, blame the carbs and start the cycle again.

Sensible diet, watch portion sizes and the right exercise is the way forward.

I'm a normal weight and a size 10 but really flabby on the tummy and thighs and arms and out of shape looking (kind of like cellulite or a loss of elssticity if that makes any sense) I'm in my 30s and have two DC. I have never exercised before.

Sounds fine! He sounds like one of those people who go weird and start to find the latest fad when they decide to go on a health kick!

I think that's a very healthy diet. Unless you're drinking 10 cans of coke a day to wash it down.

Fads only work in the short term, and you can drop a dress size with exercise alone.

Ah so it sounds like you need to exercise to tone up. I have managed to tone up everything except the wobbly tummy but I've kind of accepted it now (kind of)!

Find an exercise that you can easily fit into your life and that will help.

I combine hiit with running as each session is only half an hour which I can usually squeeze in.

I drink green tea or water. I only drink wine at special occasions, and once a week eat a small bar of dark chocolate. I think it must be the lack of exercise why I look so out of shape but my DH seems to think it is the carbs and dairy. He has been on diets before, always the latest fad which he never sticks too. We just can't seem to agree on a way forward for us both to get fit, I would be happy to carry on eating the same and just join the gym but he thinks we are very unhealthy eaters!

i don't think your DH understands how nutrition works.

You need carbs. Carry on as you are and tell him to keep his beak out!

Also, if he wants to change how he eats then let him. You don't need to do the same thing

He thinks we should just eat fish eggs and veg I don't think I'm going to be joining him on this one.......

We cook together so it makes sense to eat the same thing, that's we are arguing about this weeks menu plan

I think we could be do two separate meal plans this week. Sigh.

Sounds good to me assuming portion sizes are sensible. And most importantly it seems sustainable long term.

Can your dh explain how people of his grandfather's generation manage to pretty well live on carbs (in the shape of spuds and bread and Yorskhire pud, combined with small helpings of protein) and yet not have an obesity problem? And how the fittest people in Europe were (and probably still are) the Scandinavians, whose national diet consists of boiled spuds and milk drunk by the pint? The answer, of course, is that they took exercise.

He thinks we should just eat fish eggs and veg

How boring 😩

I think that sounds very healthy. If you aren't overweight I see no good reason for trying to eliminate carbs from your diet. Increasing the exercise you do to 'get fit' is a great idea. Can DH not see that small changes are more sustainable than extreme fads?

Carbs these days are shit though. We aren't talking sweet potatoes and parsnips we are talking bread, cake, pasta etc. Most of them are processed.
I think what you eat looks fine apart from semi skimmed milk ( most of the goodness has been taken out) and that spread for bread. Lord knows what's in that.

I don't think carbs are your problem, and your diet seems relatively healthy (though obviously a nutritionist could pick holes in it, but as an every day diet it's fine). I do think you need to look at gaining muscle through exercise though. You lose a surprising amount as you get older, and will appreciate it in your 70's/80's if you have spent time now working on it.

You could change the wholemeal bread to rye or spelt bread. Because whole wheat is not especially healthy (see Wheat Belly by William Davis MD) Even though we've all been brain washed to think it is

You'll never tone up through diet alone. Ignore your dh, join the fun things and start exercising, go running, do pilates or other classes, and after two months assess who has got fitter. In fact, make a bet with him, he does it his way, you do it your way, and see who ends up fitter and stronger and healthier the end!

Revealall Sat 29-Oct-16 13:44:23
"Carbs these days are shit though. We aren't talking sweet potatoes and parsnips we are talking bread, cake, pasta etc. Most of them are processed"

Are we? Don't they sell spuds and parsnips "these days"? Surely it's up to the individual if they don't buy them- they are certainly in plentiful supply. Which indicates that people are still buying them.

Your diet looks good.

If we're talking about just generally getting into shape to be less flabby and unfit, then the changes need to be long term. There's no point dieting and exercising for a year then returning to bad food and laziness. Cutting out all carbs is therefore pointless because it's so unsustainable. Find a form of exercise/physical activity/sport that you actually enjoy, and start eating healthy foods that you actually like.

This short-term perspective is easily the biggest obstacle most people create for themselves when trying to improve their fitness/body.

I think what you eat looks fine apart from semi skimmed milk ( most of the goodness has been taken out)

What do they take out of semi-skimmed milk? Is this another thing I've always drunk without thinking and the recommendations have changed?

Looks good to me. You could consider switching the milk in your porridge to a plant milk, especially as you're already using Vitalite.

Also, wheat is healthy, one book says it's not, all the others say it is. Much healthier than all the meat, dairy and eggs the wheat naysayers are happy to consume.