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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I eat healthily? My DH doesn't!

236 replies

Virtualcareerchanger · 29/10/2016 13:19

I think I eat a well balanced healthy diet. Me and DH are trying to get fit and I said I don't need to change what I eat I just need to start exercising, however my DH disagrees and thinks we need to cut out carbs as carbs are sugar. He said he thinks we eat too much carbs and dairy. I thought I would bring this to the mumsnet aibu jury. Here is what I have eaten (and DH) over the last two days. Am I being unreasonable to think this is fine for someone trying to eat healthily?

Day 1
Breakfast: porridge oats made with semi skimmed milk a teaspoon of honey and 3 tablespoons of blueberries
Lunch: cheese salad sandwich on wholemeal bread with a scraping of vitalight spread, a raw carrot and an apple
Snack: a banana
Dinner: salmon, sweet potato and brocoli

Day 2
Breakfast: porridge oats with semi skimmed milk a teaspoon of honey and 3 tablespoons of raspberries
Lunch: tin of carrot and butterbean soup, a wholemeal roll with a scraping of vitalight spread, an orange
Snack: raisins and almonds
Dinner: homemade Thai chicken curry with rice

OP posts:
BravoHopeful · 29/10/2016 15:11

Are you bloated on the tummy (i.e. a hard-feeling, sticking-out pregnant-like belly) or just saggy wrinkly flesh? If it's the former, then is it possible you have a food intolerance? Especially if you have any digestive problems (wind, diarrhoea, constipation etc.)

I only say this because I have coeliac relatives, and know that even a seemingly healthy diet can be problematic if your system can't handle some nutrients.

Chinnygirl · 29/10/2016 15:11

The problem is that you are not counting the carbs in your fruit and veg. A banana has 18 carbs.

I am talking about an average body and an average banana.

Naicehamshop · 29/10/2016 15:12

Agree with girlrunning - avoid the refined carbs, they are not necessary.

girlrunningoncheese · 29/10/2016 15:14

chinnygirl I realise that comment was aimed at another poster but I do count the carbs in my veg (rarely eat fruit) and I happily eat 25g carbs in a day, of which probably 20g is from the veg. So it's totally possible.

Chinnygirl · 29/10/2016 15:15

Diabetics who exercise need to eat more carbs or use less insulin because the extra muscleuse uses part of their bloodsugar for fuel. Is muscles don't need that then why do they take it from the blood?

2kids2dogsnosense · 29/10/2016 15:16

Bearing in mind that my idea of 5-a-day means biscuits, cake, chocolate, ice-cream and meringue, I think I may be the wrong person to ask.

theclick · 29/10/2016 15:18

Is perfectly healthy! Sounds a lot like mine. To be honest my DH says the same about mine tho. Think it's because he eats a lot of red meat and more fish which I don't.

Chinnygirl · 29/10/2016 15:20

Girl, it was indeed aimed at another poster. I am interested in what you eat and drink during the day if your carb intake is so low. I could do with lowering mine. We don't differ much in our opinions, i do not think that eating refined stuff is good for you, nor do I think that overeating on carbs is healthy, we just differ on the opinion how much carbs you should be eating.

Dowser · 29/10/2016 15:24

Agree with reveal all. A scrape of good butter is much better than those spreads.
You can make your own butter with good quality organic full fat milk and a kenwood type mixer
Dead easy, less than ten mins
Add your own salt and herbs for a savoury butter

nocampinghere · 29/10/2016 15:31

you need more protein imo.
scrap the chemical spread

girlrunningoncheese · 29/10/2016 15:31

chinny totally agree, refined carbs are the real enemy! And I think everyone has a different level of carbs that they can tolerate. I eat things like bolognese with courgette, curries with cauliflower rice, breakfast muffins made with egg/spinach - so mainly meat/fish/veg. I steer away from the more carby veg like squash. I relax a bit more at the weekends (wine Smile) but still try and keep around 40-50g carbs.

I have been running for about 3 years and did struggle for a week or two when I started LC-ing - but now I have no such issues and believe it's really helped my running.

Sparklesilverglitter · 29/10/2016 15:32

Looks perfectly healthy to me and as long as you feel well then no need to change anything!

You and your DH can get fit together without eating the same food if he so wishes.

girlrunningoncheese · 29/10/2016 15:34

Sorry OP, derailed a bit there Blush

Much as I'd love to recruit you to low carbing, finding a type of exercise you love is probably the first thing for you to do. Mine is running because it's minimal faff - trainers on, radio in ears, out the door.

PollyPerky · 29/10/2016 15:39

Chinny I don't eat many carbs.
But I am 60ish and my metabolism is not that of a 30 yr old!

My main carbs are a small bowl of porridge, and maybe 2 oat cakes in a day ( that's not counting fruit and veg. ) I rarely eat bananas (they don't agree with me.) Lunch is perhaps home made soup (veg with chicken stock- today it was carrot and sweet potato) , or a small piece of cheese, the oat cakes and an apple. Or I often have an avocado, filled with tuna and a small blob of mayo, or crab, or a salad ( lettuce, watercress, red peppers, celery apple and walnuts with a blob of mayo) with some cold chicken or tinned tuna or sardines.

Dinner is chicken usually or fish with veggies, plain greek yoghurt and blueberries. I don't eat rice or pasta as think they are empty carbs.

rogueantimatter · 29/10/2016 15:40

I agree that your diet sounds fairly healthy.

I also agree with the pp who suggested cutting out the bread at lunchtime - cheese salad and nuts or seeds instead of bread perhaps. Or homemade soup and nuts or seeds.

Good alternative breakfasts could be scrambled eggs maybe on rye or pumpernickel bread. Rye bread with sliced avocado and seeds.

BellesBelles · 29/10/2016 15:42

I didn't get leaner and feel that I had "tightened up" (without much excersise) until I'd cut down on carbs, tbh. I love carbs, so would never cut them out completely, but I cut down on bread, potatoes and cereal. I think I might be a bit intolerant to bread/cereal as when I have them, especially seeded bread and muesli, I feel bloated and sickly. I have lots of rice cakes though, and crackers.

Pinkheart5915 · 29/10/2016 15:42

It looks fine to me!

Today for me (and dh) it's

Breakfast porridge with full fat milk and berries

Lunch chicken salad wholemeal sandwich, then some chopped veg & fruit with ds (peppers, carrot, celery, Apple, mango, grapes)

Dinner will be salmon, stir fry veg and noodles

Most days we eat that way with a fair amount of exercise and we ar both perfectly fit and healthy

Eatthecake · 29/10/2016 15:46

Looks good to me! How do you feel OP? If you feel well then your diet is fine

For me it's

B = Muesil, full fat milk, chopped up banana

L= cheese, pickle and salad sandwich ( scraping of real butter) Orange

D= veg chilli on a jacket potatoe

Cornishclio · 29/10/2016 16:01

Looks healthy to me. If you have a flabby tummy then tummy toning exercises will sort that out. I do legs bums and tums class at my local gym.

ppeatfruit · 29/10/2016 16:08

Chinio Bless you if the producers of wheat, (which is sooo far removed from it's original state) didn't pay for people to back their products they might lose money too mightn't they?

If wheat was so healthy there's be a load of healthy people round , instead everyone is getting fatter, and on the telly 2 nights ago it said that diabetes type 2 is becoming an epidemic. The body responds to wheat by spiking it's blood sugar level extremely quickly.

A pp said that we are all different and that, of course, is true (though ignored by so many "experts, medics' and others. So my dh is good with a high protein low carb diet and that made me ill.
He cooks meat for himself and veg for us both . I have veg. and some fish. occasionally. Which suits me. We both have some rye bread.

Petronius16 · 29/10/2016 16:08

Your diet is healthy, so is Eatthecake's including the butter. Here's what the NHS site say about sugar.

^The kind of sugar we eat too much of is known as"free sugars". Free sugars are any sugars added to food or drinks, or found naturally in honey, syrups and unsweetened fruit juices.
Many foods and drinks that contain added sugars can be high in energy (measured in either kilojoules/kJor calories/kcal) and often have few other nutrients. Eating these foods too often can mean you eat more calories than you need, which can lead to weight gain and obesity.
Adults are advised not to eat more than 30g of free sugars a day, which is roughly seven sugar cubes. Children should have less than this^.

And for carbs,

Starchy foods such as potatoes, bread, rice, pasta andcereals should make up just over a third of the food you eat, as shown by theEatwell Guide. Where you can, choose wholegrain varieties,or eat potatoes with their skins on for more fibre.

I've just checked the Wheat Belly guy and found limited research to support his being able to sell many books and what research there is is dated and not in his field of expertise.

Stone ground wholemeal could be better for you, though the word wholemeal covers a multitude of sins. A wholemeal loaf made by the Chorley Wood method (in an hour) and sold by all supermarkets will have all sorts of additives which will not be in those I bake at home.

If you could make your own bread, soups etc., that would certainly be healthy but if you're both working not so easy.

Reducing portion size will help.

Interpret the word exercise as broadly as you can. From simple exercises in your own home, to walking more, not using lifts and so on.

Certainly add veg to DH's meals and maybe frozen peas to yours.

All the best to you both.

FarAwayHills · 29/10/2016 16:15

Your diet looks good to me and your DH is mistaken to think that cutting out one food group is the magic answer. You need 'good' carbs as part of a balanced diet and most importantly it is just not sustainable long term to cut out all carbs like this. The message that 'all carbs are bad' is very misleading. It is the processed carbs, many laden with sugar and the devil that is fructose corn syrup, that should be avoided. It is the increase in the consumption of these coupled with more sedentary lifestyles that has been responsible for the obesity crisis.

ppeatfruit · 29/10/2016 16:15

Pertonius It's an idea to check who pays for the NHS research too. I find it interesting that now it's sugar which is getting stick NOT the chemical sweeteners which are hardly healthy esp. aspartame which is nasty stuff IMO and E. Not everyone does that badly with sugar. If I had to choose between Cxke zero and normal I'd chose normal (but I wouldn't anyway). Grin

PickAChew · 29/10/2016 16:36

Oat milk is not healthier than cows milk. It's far less nutritious. And semi skimmed has simply had some of the fat taken out.

As you're nothing like overweight, your best bet is to sign up for something like my fitness pal, set calories to maintain or lose half a pound per week, at most, and start some resistance training to build some muscle.

And tell your dp to eat what the hell he pleases, but you're going to damn well enjoy your food and get healthier at the same time. Win win.

PickAChew · 29/10/2016 16:39

And broccoli is healthy, but we'd still be fat if it was delicious enough to eat too much, like with wheat.

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