To think I eat healthily? My DH doesn't!

[Virtualcareerchanger]

I think I eat a well balanced healthy diet. Me and DH are trying to get fit and I said I don't need to change what I eat I just need to start exercising, however my DH disagrees and thinks we need to cut out carbs as carbs are sugar. He said he thinks we eat too much carbs and dairy. I thought I would bring this to the mumsnet aibu jury. Here is what I have eaten (and DH) over the last two days. Am I being unreasonable to think this is fine for someone trying to eat healthily?

Day 1
Breakfast: porridge oats made with semi skimmed milk a teaspoon of honey and 3 tablespoons of blueberries
Lunch: cheese salad sandwich on wholemeal bread with a scraping of vitalight spread, a raw carrot and an apple
Snack: a banana
Dinner: salmon, sweet potato and brocoli

Day 2
Breakfast: porridge oats with semi skimmed milk a teaspoon of honey and 3 tablespoons of raspberries
Lunch: tin of carrot and butterbean soup, a wholemeal roll with a scraping of vitalight spread, an orange
Snack: raisins and almonds
Dinner: homemade Thai chicken curry with rice

I can only say I wish I was size 10. The last time I was that size was probably when I was aged 10!

Sounds quite healthy to me. You need carbs in your diet because they're turned into glucose for energy, thats why athletes eat plenty before big events etc. So if your planning on doing alot of physical exercise then yes you do need carbs. If your planning on just losing weight without any more exercise than you do now then cut out the carbs and stick to a low calorie diet. It will be difficult to cut out carbs completely but if your not using the energy they give you then the extra glucose turns into fat .

I swapped most wheat products for corn or rice as they are less inflammatory to the gut. I still indulge in the odd cake though
Also swapped cows milk for goats milk as it has 13% more calcium and is also more gentle on the gut. Plus it has smaller fat molecules which act as transport for vitamins and minerals. You can't absorb them without some fat. Butter is always healthier than margarine (Marge uses petroleum in its processing - no WAY would I touch that stuff with a barge pole!) and also not as bad for people with lactose intolerance as most of the lactose is lost in the by-products when the butter's being made.

After reading an interview with a heart surgeon (of 25 years) he said he has seem people's arteries looking like they'd been scrubbed with wire wool as a result of low-fat diets.
But at the end of the day, it's about balancing your intake with your exercise and you have to find what works for you.
That's my tuppence-worth anyway.

Sounds fine to me but I would cut out the porridge oats with honey and fruit because that is quite a lot of sugar (from converted carbs and straight sugar from the honey and fruit).

A handful of blueberries in your porridge will make it sweet.

As a dairy farmer who took part in a research project to find out how much its (very beneficial, worth googling) conjugated linoleic acid -CLA- was influenced by cattle diets (grass came out on top!), I learned that to drink whole fat milk and eat butter actually helps the body process excess fat.
For years we consumers were led down the path that saturated fats were evil and hydrogenated margarines were the way forward. This progressed to avoiding high fat foods in favour of eating highly sugared foods. The tables are turning... A balanced diet, in moderation and as little processed as possible (without artificial sweeteners) should cover all bodily needs. I've heard of people taking the extreme and living off fruit smoothies which is just taking a massive hit of fruit sugars in one swallow. Complex carbohydrates for a slow energy release are to be preferred. Brown rice, pasta and bread. I think your diet sounds healthy. Not all carbohydrates are 'sugar'.
Semi skimmed milk has had the fat and fat soluble vitamins and other milk solids removed and some of those, especially vitamin D are so important, particularly for women, to help prevent osteoporosis in the future. I encourage every teenage girl to drink whole milk, if they can, and not be taken in by semi skim helping 'keep them thin'. Milk is touted as the best post-exercise energy drink around. Sprinkle half teaspoon of hot chocolate in it to make it a palatable if needed.

My job is extremely energy consuming and involves a lot of pushing, lifting and pulling so my upper body is Amazonian and I, frankly, need a lot of protein so eat a lot of quality (grass-fed) beef. However, I plod all day and my legs and thighs definitely need the extra exercises that a gym offers. Short, hard bursts of running and jogging (also building heart muscle) help to reduce the cellulite and flabby feeling. In middle age, I am an 8-10.

What's right for your husband is not necessarily right for your husband. If he wants to eat fish and steamed veg, you can just add brown rice to yours... All the best.

Your diet sounds ok as far as it goes.

I agree with FluffyFluffster though that you should add more protein in the morning, maybe an egg as well as the porridge, or porridge made from other grains - quinoa for example, or add something like flax seeds to it. Or Greek yogurt alongside the porridge might be nice.

Substitute a few nuts for the fruit snacks. Raisins are very sugary.

Add more veg like broccoli and other cruciform veggies.

Why are you eating the margarine? Apart from tasting disgusting, synthetic fats are toxic. Look, just eat REAL food, that's is, nothing invented in the last 100 years, cut out sugar and you'll be slim. Full fat milk and butter will not cause you to gain weight.

I think you eat well, if I was to say change anything, I would try and eat a better bread, rye or spelt or even gluten free and swap your vitalight spread to proper butter (organic if possible). Also if you are going to drink dairy then always choose organic or a milk alternative, Oat milk is lovely.xx

I think your diet is Absouletly fine!

I wouldn't change the porridge if it feels you up. I hate being preached to at work about how I should eat eggs at breakfast, they don't feel me up at all but good old porridge does.

I'm not a fan of using semi skimmed milk or pretend butter I always use the full fat varieties but if you like them again no need to change

For me in a day it's generally

B= porridge with full fat milk and berries

L= a wholemeal sandwich ( either chicken/tuna or cheese with Salad) with a banana and a pot of grapes

D= Is just a portion of normal meals. Spag Bol, curry, pasta bake, jacket potatoe etc

If you feel well, then your diet suits you. Obviously if you feel sluggish look at changing.

Your DH can get fit with you but you don't have to eat the same food if he wishes to eat different nobody is stopping him

I thought porridge was better than other cereal as it doesn't have added sugar? Also, I only like skimmed milk. I would happily use butter rather than LF spread though (we use a spreadable butter that is part oil - don't know if that's ok or not). I eat loads more than you OP and am a size 8 (I'm not someone who's naturally thin, I need to be careful). I almost certainly eat too many carbs and fruit, but I try and avoid added sugar and processed stuff (apart from crisps, I love my crisps!)

The carbs you have are mainly whole grain which is good can also gives you fibre. Although technically you don't need carbohydrates to survive (they don't provide any essential nutrition you can't get from anywhere else like e.g. Protein) IMO it's healthy to eat whole grain carbs. If you're a size 10 your portions can't be huge. Exercise will be the key difference. Carbs are turned into sugar in your body but there's a huge difference in how your body would react to something sugary (simple sugar carbohydrates) or wholegrain cerals. Try brown rice instead of white rice and maybe give quinoa a go. Fill your plate with vegetabkes and make sure you eat different proteins. I've discovered that targeting one area doesn't always give great results (e.g. Just doing stomach crunches) so try core work and cardio work. My stomach is my problem area too!

I don't think you and he need to fall out. You eat what suits you and he eats what suits him. I don't often eat dairy products, except a bit of butter. I tend to avoid bread/wheat as that works for me and I am with your husband in his views but as I said to one of my teenagers today (vegan) I think there are two kinds of ways of eating only - the junk food awful way many people eat amnd the rest of us who eat well (that rest of us might be vegan or it might be brown rice with fish or it might be high good fats, medium protein loads of veg - latter being my way of eating). All those of us in the rest of us category eat well. you can eat healthily and be a vegan or 100% carnivore as long as you eat nose to tail, kidney, liver and all the fat or a mixture or paleo.

Pure oats are indeed better than most other cereals and you will not get ill eating oats. I tend not to eat them as I eat mostly paleo/keto but I've about a stone to lose and it suits me well. I don't however have anything against oats. Much better oats than shredded wheat which has sugar added etc.

Doesn't sound bad to me. It is also unhealthy to cut out any food group completely, you'll loose weight fast if you do because you are starving your body of something it needs, but you'll put it all (and likely more) back on even quicker.

I used slimming world to help me loose weight after children and it really taught me to eat well. Not going to tell you to do it, but I was shocked at how bad bread is for you!!!! 🙈

I think maybe DH just doesn't wanna exercise lol

Thingamajiggy and Clairedingle the OP has already explained why she uses the spread. Her DCs have milk allergies and she doesn't want to double up on things.

I've been seeing a personal trainer for about a year and diet is very important if you want to lose weight but exercise is the way forward if you want to get fit. I haven't lost much weight but my body fat has decreased loads and I am strong and fit (boyfriend is happy about it too). Your diet looks absolutely fine, much healthier than most. Find a class or gym that you like or share a PT. I see mine once every couple of months and it's much cheaper than a gym. It would also be good to settle the argument between you and your husband as a good PT will have studied nutrition. I work out at home once the kids are in bed and now, weirdly, actually enjoy it! Good luck 😀

I think your diet sounds fine. I'd love my OH to be concerned about food. He eats so much sugar. He's eaten a great big dinner and is now tucking into a large bowl of very sugary granola. We had a argument when I was cooking onions to have with dinner, he came in and got the sugar bowl out, he was about to tip a load in with the onions. When I told him to stop because I wanted to remove my portion before the sugar was added, he threw the sugar bowl back in the cupboard, slammed the cupboard door and stormed off 😡 So I would love him to worry about what is going in his mouth.

Sounds fine to me.

Everything is a carb, btw. Carbs are just converted energy, so even carrots etc. contain carbs. Carbs are good and necessary. Might want to tell your husband that. And there's nothing wrong with dairy if you don't have an intolerance/allergy.

Don't cut the milk or the spread as someone else suggested. If you cut out every single thing you enjoy (especially when, in the scheme of things, they are relatively harmless foods), you're going to get miserable and throw in the towel. There's got to be something that you enjoy.

Of course it depends on your portion sizes but if they are moderate portions, I would be really hungry eating what you do and I'm an 8.

Do you never eat biscuits or drink alcohol? Or eat the kid's leftovers? It looks very virtuous .

I doubt your dh will be able to stick to a strict limited diet and start exercising. It's too much of a radical life change.

OP your diet sounds fine.

I'm probably a similar weight and size to you. After the dcs I picked up running again but also added in kettle bell training and intensive routines. I have toned up massively as a result!

Not quite sure what the fuss is about the vitalight. OP is only having a scraping of it and it is not like she is spreading arsenic on her bread.

I'd switch to oat milk.
Add in more vegetables and good carbs.
How about adding in some pulses eg beans and lentils?

Perhaps he is getting confused with processed carbs versus fibrous carbs.
So yes, cut out all processed carbs if you think you can but make sure to eat plenty of fibrous carbs, like root veggies, brown rice, lentils etc.

Your diet is very healthy

Textbook diet that. I would just carry on as you are doing.