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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask who to call when you can't cope any more?

75 replies

puglife15 · 27/10/2016 08:53

Posting for traffic

Called DH but then told him to carry on to work as can't afford for him to jeopardise work. No family within hundreds of miles. I know my two closest friends are busy / away today.

OP posts:
steff13 · 27/10/2016 08:54

It depends on what you're having terrible coping with.

steff13 · 27/10/2016 08:55

Trouble

formerbabe · 27/10/2016 08:56

Maybe if you could tell us more op, someone will be able to give you some advice about what you could do....in the meantime Flowers

Original poster
puglife15 · 27/10/2016 08:59

Two kids screaming this morning, one tried to leave the house to find daddy. No proper sleep for several months. Starting to hallucinate and have dark thoughts. I've just got nothing left. Feel like I'm going to snap at the tiniest thing. I've already shouted horribly at 3 year old for screaming incessantly.

OP posts:
AliceInUnderpants · 27/10/2016 09:03

I know how you feel puglife. I'm just desperately trying to get through each hour until I have a psych appointment on Monday, but know when I get there, I'll tell the absolutely Fuck All

Original poster
puglife15 · 27/10/2016 09:04

I'm so run down. My body and joints ache. I've lost 3kg in past few weeks. I've got loads of spots and ulcers and a constant cold.

OP posts:
SleepFreeZone · 27/10/2016 09:04

I would say you call the HV. I know I did and it definitely helped.

Original poster
puglife15 · 27/10/2016 09:04

Alice Flowers

I don't feel I can wait until meds or whatever kick in

OP posts:
AppleAndBlackberry · 27/10/2016 09:05

Can you get an emergency GP appointment?

Original poster
puglife15 · 27/10/2016 09:05

I've texted the HV.

OP posts:
Username1649 · 27/10/2016 09:07

Can family still be on the way to help later today or tomorrow or will they not really be help? Any next layer friends can give you a breather? Stick the tv on and take yourself to another room for 5 mins. Hugs

Discopanda · 27/10/2016 09:07

Oh OP, feeling for you, eldest DD has been a terrible sleeper for her whole life, sleep is so vital for mental wellbeing. Do you have any close friends or siblings you can talk to? Or just post on MN for a rant to get it out of your system. Take deep breaths Flowers

Skittlesss · 27/10/2016 09:09

You are more important than work so get your OH to come home. Call the dr and tell them how you're feeling. They'll get you an appt or prescribe over the phone. That will make you feel slightly better as you're on the track to feeling better.

I was feeling exactly as you describe 7 weeks ago and did what I've just said. Still don't feel brilliant but the dr changed my tablets a few days ago and I can tell they're helping better. Just getting on track for help did make me feel better.

Hang in there and keep posting to us xx

formerbabe · 27/10/2016 09:12

You sound exhausted Flowers. I've been there....I was going to say call your GP or HV...and you mentioned your friends are busy today but perhaps if you told them you're struggling, they could pop over tomorrow to give you some support? You say your family are far away but maybe you could give them a call just for a chat? Hope things improve soon for you ChocolateBrew

m0therofdragons · 27/10/2016 09:15

How old are dc? Put CBeebies on and leave them while you make a cup of tea/have a cry and know it'll get better. Small dc have the ability to really knock you when you're feeling down.

Original poster
puglife15 · 27/10/2016 09:21

I don't really have a chatty relationship with family tbh. Also don't want to worry older DPs when they're so far away. Plus they're not very sympathetic or supportive.

I can't think of any other friends I could talk to really. Only perhaps one and she is struggling with MH herself.

TV on and kids have stopped crying for now.

I don't feel like I can ask DH to come home. He's struggling a lot too. I think he's depressed.

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 27/10/2016 09:22

Hey there, I am so sorry

a few ideas

so get a GP apt and just tell them what you are feeling
get HV advice for whenever you can
Today, buy some earplugs and a Nytol. The earplugs muffles some of the noise
have a shower, put make up on, or what56ever makes you feel nice

then either go a nice walk somewhere nice, or arrange a popcorn afternoon and get some nice DVDs

the combination of post natal, solitude and lack of sleep is brutal, I feel for you.

Original poster
puglife15 · 27/10/2016 09:24

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Penfold007 · 27/10/2016 09:25

I'd make an urgent appointment with my GP and phone the HV not just text them. Sleep deprivation is brutal.

Original poster
puglife15 · 27/10/2016 09:29

Can't get through to GP or HV on phone unfortunately. I've managed to get dressed, need to get Kids dressed and have some breakfast. My 8 month old is screaming, he's so tired but will only sleep in the sling and I can't face putting it on.

OP posts:
felloveraplastictrain · 27/10/2016 09:33

I am the same I would call dh but he would be unable to help most days because of work.

I have no one else.

I DID have wonderful support from my hv with postnatal depression , she came round once a week just to check on us and actually really really helped. So do keep trying to get through to yours .

Mrsemcgregor · 27/10/2016 09:34

You can always call www.cry-sis.org.uk/

08451 228 669

Fletcherl · 27/10/2016 09:34

You have done well. You have got through the 1st part of the day you and the children are up and fed.
Do you have a garden or park? Could you face going and stomping in the leaves?
You sound exhausted but are carrying on and doing your best and succeeding.

Love51 · 27/10/2016 09:37

Is your 3 year old in childcare? Buy in some extra time for asap. Or see if dh can take annual leave tomorrow (depends on his work, but it's worth it if keeps you all safe!)
Get up and out this morning for fresh air for you all, then after lunch have quiet time, telly, books, naps if possible. Good luck x

GettingitwrongHauntingatnight · 27/10/2016 09:37

Flowers It can be really tough having little kids. When dd1 and 2 were 3 and a baby I really struggled.

When I had dd3 I sought help from HV and went on to get ads which really helped. I also used childcare for a few hours a week, is that possible?

No advice sleep wise I'm afraid, ds1 is not great infact none of them have been but at least now dd1 is a teen and dd2 is a tween so they skeep!