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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kitten dilema... WWYD

103 replies

Bookeatingboy · 17/10/2016 23:05

We've had our kitten a couple of weeks which sadly coincided with my father being very poorly and needing lots of support from me. This resulted in my not getting around to sorting insurance out.

Before everyone jumps on me, we are responsible cat owners and have always had pet insurance but my priorities were with my dad and I just forgot, so we could be facing a very big vet bill.

Kitten was fine this morning, running around as usual, then around 6 pm, noticed that he was limping and that is paw and leg had swollen to double it's size. Took straight to out of hours vet and looks like leg/paw is broken ( x-ray in the morning to confirm) Vet is saying because he is still so small will probably have to have the kittens leg amputated.

Here is my dilemma... My son who has ASD will just not cope with this, I know how his mind works and he will get very anxious, this coupled with the unknown of the quality of life the kitten will have is making me ask the question whether it might be kinder if we put him to sleep.

Really don't know what to do for the best, we could pay the vet bill so that's not my main worry. I just want to make the right decision for the kitten and my ds.

WWYD

OP posts:
Cheby · 17/10/2016 23:08

Cats do really well with three legs. Especially if it happens as a kitten and they can adapt. Unless the vet recommends it as the best course of action, please don't have him PTS when he has a good chance of making it.

If your son can't cope, then please look for a new home for the kitten.

Rachcakes · 17/10/2016 23:08

Wait till you see the X-ray. They may be able to pin it. One of my kittens was in a terrible way when she was run over but made a full (very expensive) recovery with good surgery.

fussygalore118 · 17/10/2016 23:09

Wtvf
Are you for real? Put it to sleep because it needs an amputation?

ShteakandShpuds · 17/10/2016 23:10

A cat will manage on 3 legs just fine. If you don't think you can cope, try to get him re-homed?

Crunchymum · 17/10/2016 23:11

How in God's name did the poor kitten break it's leg so badly it requires amputation?

Sounds to me like you would prefer to put the kitten down rather than face the financial implications, which is the opposite of a responsible per owner in my eyes

Crunchymum · 17/10/2016 23:13

Pet owner.

BeauHeaux · 17/10/2016 23:14

Agree with Cheby. Cats are great on three legs. Poor thing. Do you have any idea how ir could have happened? Preventative measures and all that.

RazWaz · 17/10/2016 23:16

I understand your dilemma but it's really not fair for the kitten to lose it's life in order to make someone else feel comfortable, regardless of their needs.

If the kitten does need to have its leg amputated and you think your DS can't cope then rehome the kitten over killing the poor thing. I honestly would take the kittie once it's well enough to travel (I'm in the North West) if that is route you decide on.

honeyroar · 17/10/2016 23:22

Why on earth would you get a pet if something so, how can I put it, minuscule happening to it will upset him to the extent that you'd put the poor thing to sleep. And it is miniscule, because the kitten will easily recover and survive.

ShtoppenDerFloppen · 17/10/2016 23:23

I had a sweet little Tuxedo kitten who had a leg amputated as it was born terribly deformed. He got on just fine with 3.

His name was Tripod Grin

Original poster
Bookeatingboy · 17/10/2016 23:26

I have had cats all my life so don't need any lectures please.

I never said we can't pay or that we don't want too. I would pay whatever it took so please don't judge me.

Vet said kittens can break bones very easily, the puppy being seen before me had broken his leg just jumping off the sofa. Clearly I don't know how it happened, there is nothing higher than the dining room table.

Do people not think I am worried sick, of course I am. I don't plan on going to bed tonight and will sit up with him all night to ensure he is looked after so please don't be nasty.

OP posts:
mycatstares · 17/10/2016 23:28

Don't get him put to sleep. If your ds can't handle the kitten with 3 legs then rehome and maybe get a fish tank next time.

fussygalore118 · 17/10/2016 23:30

Nasty? Oh excuse us...you are the one casually throwing it out there having an animal pts because it might upset your son ffs. Rehome it if you can't see your son accepting it..or even better teach him that being a bit different is nothing to be scared off!

Meadows76 · 17/10/2016 23:30

Your son won't cope with a 3 legged cat but he will be ok if you have the kitten PTS [shocked]

TeddyIsaHe · 17/10/2016 23:32

I don't think anyone is being nasty, but before getting the kitten any possibilities like this in regards to your son should have been worked out. That's responsible pet ownership I'm afraid. It's a tough situation, but like PP have said, it's completely not fair to put the poor thing to sleep because you're worried it will impact on other aspects of your life.

Talk to your vet, the amputation isn't a forgone conclusion yet so you might be worrying unnecessarily, if it does come to that definitely look into rehoming if you're certain your son can't cope. Good luck, and I hope it works out.

Original poster
Bookeatingboy · 17/10/2016 23:38

OK... my son has severe ASD so I have to consider him, clearly some of you don't understand why. He knows all about being different as do our family, we get reminded every day from the stares and comments we get when we are out when my son is being "different"

It was a thought process, said out loud, obviously not one I thought through at all and I honestly couldn't have him PTS if I'm honest and I guess I was worried for both the kitten and my son and was freaking out a little.

OP posts:
Foxysoxy01 · 17/10/2016 23:38

Would your conscience really allow you to put the kitten to sleep?

You have a duty of care for this kitten and really need to re home it rather than have it put to sleep (if the vet would even do it!) you may have to explain this to somewhere like the cats protection league and ask them to take it.

I have to say I think it's terribly sad for the kitten and quite a poor show that you want rid of it because it may upset your son. What happens when you son sees people with missing limbs? it doesn't really matter that he has ASD he needs to learn to cope with seeing animals and people with missing limbs and prosthetics.

Original poster
Bookeatingboy · 17/10/2016 23:47

I m typing with one hand as hes sat on my lap having a cuddle and I will stay here all night with him, my ds is usually up many times through the night so will keep the kitten with me whilst dh sees to ds.

I'll see what the vet says in the morning and take it from there, ironically we got the kitten for ds and he has been a god send for ds, they are the best of friends.

OP posts:
ohdofeckoffnowdear · 17/10/2016 23:55

I don't agree with having the kitten asleep! Don't you think it will effect your son more if the kitten was gone?
Wouldn't that give him anxiety??

Kittens and cats are fine with 3 legs your son would get used to the kitten being that way.

Original poster
Bookeatingboy · 17/10/2016 23:56

I've just admitted to not being able to do that, it was a stupid panic thought process that I wrote down rather than think through properly.

I apologise if I have upset anyone, I really do. I wont be putting him to sleep so there is no need for any more posts giving me hard time please. But if it makes you feel better then go for it, I've already explained it was a stupid thought process that I said out loud but then knew I could never do.

I won't contribute any further other than to give an update tomorrow after the vets x-rayed his leg.

OP posts:
user1474907171 · 17/10/2016 23:58

It doesn't look as if you are in the right situation for a tiny kitten and it would be better to get the leg treated and rehome. You have an offer above.

Why not adopt a stronger pet that won't break so easily if you feel you must have one? I would be concerned for the safety of the kitten if an accident like this has happened.

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 18/10/2016 00:06

"fussygalore118

Nasty? Oh excuse us...you are the one casually throwing it out there having an animal pts because it might upset your son ffs. Rehome it if you can't see your son accepting it..or even better teach him that being a bit different is nothing to be scared off!"

Exactly. Good post. The indignant tone after what she suggested as being "kinder", is hard to take. Grrrrr

TheCompanyOfCats · 18/10/2016 00:11

But what if he was fine for a couple of years, was best friends with your DS and then broke him leg or similar? Because you have to consider that this won't be the last time he injurs himself.

Actually, here's some (kindly meant) clarity on the siuation for you: you can either commit to the kitten now or find him a suitable home asap. But putting him to sleep really isn't an option, ethically or morally, so put that one aside.

TheCompanyOfCats · 18/10/2016 00:13

Sorry Book, just saw your last post. Hope everything went as well as it could do at the vets.

ChathamDockyard · 18/10/2016 00:20

I don't know why posters have to be so nasty. There is nothing wrong with wholeheartedly disagreeing with the OP but there is no need for the nasty snidely comments. If the OP was that uncaring the cat would already have been PTS.
OP, I hope everything goes well tonight and you and the kitten get some sleep.

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