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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kitten dilema... WWYD

103 replies

Bookeatingboy · 17/10/2016 23:05

We've had our kitten a couple of weeks which sadly coincided with my father being very poorly and needing lots of support from me. This resulted in my not getting around to sorting insurance out.

Before everyone jumps on me, we are responsible cat owners and have always had pet insurance but my priorities were with my dad and I just forgot, so we could be facing a very big vet bill.

Kitten was fine this morning, running around as usual, then around 6 pm, noticed that he was limping and that is paw and leg had swollen to double it's size. Took straight to out of hours vet and looks like leg/paw is broken ( x-ray in the morning to confirm) Vet is saying because he is still so small will probably have to have the kittens leg amputated.

Here is my dilemma... My son who has ASD will just not cope with this, I know how his mind works and he will get very anxious, this coupled with the unknown of the quality of life the kitten will have is making me ask the question whether it might be kinder if we put him to sleep.

Really don't know what to do for the best, we could pay the vet bill so that's not my main worry. I just want to make the right decision for the kitten and my ds.

WWYD

OP posts:
Blackfellpony · 18/10/2016 09:28

Just a cat Hmm
Sometimes I wonder how some people can grow up to be incapable of compassion to anything but a human. Let's face it people aren't exactly endangered let's not bother treating them either.

Anyway op I hope you get it sorted, cats do well on 3 legs, however if your son is this sensitive maybe a pet isnt the best idea Blush

CatThiefKeith · 18/10/2016 09:31

I have a three legged cat op. He gets around fine and is a bit of a local celebrity.

Dd adores him, and loves the attention she gets from other kids at her school for being the girl with the three legged cat.

ayeokthen · 18/10/2016 09:35

You wrote earlier about your son having and understanding of "different", could this be a way of explaining to him about the kitten? My eldest DS has ASD, and when things are explained literally and logically he has a better understanding of them. Accidents happen, and oversights (insurance) happen, nobody is perfect (unless you're on MN in which case everybody is perfect all the time!Hmm )
I'm glad you've decided not to have the kitten PTS, I think that was a suggestion made in desperation rather than a serious idea. The capacity to love an animal is very present in kids on the spectrum, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by how your son copes with his new kitten, 3 legs and all. Good luck OP, I hope it all works out.

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 18/10/2016 10:44

I cannot believe some of the people here:
"There are worse things to happen to a pet than being pts"

Just brilliant.

Soubriquet · 18/10/2016 10:46

Well no I agree with that Poppy

There are worse things that can happen than being PTS. But this isn't one of them

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 18/10/2016 10:47

The Mumsnet abbreviation for euthanasia is even more helpful for unkind posters to use than the actual euphemism itself.

I am disgusted.

gingerboy1912 · 18/10/2016 10:53

What does the vet recommend would be best for your kitten op??

Soubriquet · 18/10/2016 10:57

I'll use this as an example Poppy

I used to work in a rescue kennel. There was a bearded collie there called Dougal.

He had been there years. We could not rehome him. He had serious guarding issues. The two times he was rehomed, the owners had to bring him back. He would stand in doorways and growl and snap.

He would get an item and guard it within the inch of his life.

So he came back.

And he was hard work. You couldn't go in the kennel with him as he wouldn't let you out. You took him for a walk and you couldn't get him back in his kennel.

The owner of the kennel finally said she was going to have him PTS. We all agreed it was the best choice...except for the husband. He felt it was cruel to put him down.

So he crafted him a pen in the bottom of the field and put him in there. He was never let out. Food was placed in there and he had a bed and that was it.

To me that is more cruel than having him PTS

ayeokthen · 18/10/2016 11:34

I used the abbreviation and certainly wasn't being unkind, either to the OPs DS or the kitten. I'm very much of the opinion that having a pet is a commitment for the whole of that pet's life, I just didn't think the OP genuinely wanted to see the kitten euthanised, but she was struggling with the situation and wanted advice.

Costacoffeeplease · 18/10/2016 11:42

Of course there are worse things than being pts - but a cat having three legs isn't one of them

Gileswithachainsaw · 18/10/2016 11:48

Of course there are worse things than being pts.

Having three legs is not one of them as a pp said.

I do have to question the sense behind getting a pet when your child can't cope with anything that's likely to happen to it.

Original poster
Bookeatingboy · 18/10/2016 13:12

UPDATE The kittens leg is thankfully not broken, I can't tell you how relieved I am.

Vet thinks it might either have been a bad reaction to a sting since he goes in the secure garden exploring for around 15 minutes each day. Or he has twisted it when racing around as kittens do!

I can collect him this afternoon and I've to try and keep him from running around or playing too roughly with his toys, not sure how we will achieve this but hey ho. Hopefully my son and his friend (he doesn't much relate to human ones) will have many happy years ahead of them.

Thank you to those of you that were so kind, I've re read my posts and my grammar and spelling leaves a lot to be desired (sure sign of sleep deprivation). I'm now topped up with coffee so this should help until bedtime. I'm just back from my father's and he looks a little brighter this morning as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bookeatingboy · 18/10/2016 13:13

Oh and I am now off to sort out the pet insurance!

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 18/10/2016 13:14

Oh excellent news!

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 18/10/2016 13:15

Well thank goodness the poor kitten is still alive. I still found your OP distressing and your attempt to distance yourself from that horrible thought - and to blame others for being shocked - pretty pathetic.

longdiling · 18/10/2016 13:17

I'm so glad the kitten is OK op. I hope your son and his little furry pal have many happy years together.

Original poster
Bookeatingboy · 18/10/2016 13:21

Poppy for goodness sake I've apologised and explained the reasons behind my OP but I guess with you being perfect an all, that will never suffice.

I would suggest it was you not I that was incapable of showing any empathy.

OP posts:
ayeokthen · 18/10/2016 13:23

Fantastic news OP, here's to many years of happiness for you all Grin

usual · 18/10/2016 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whattheseithakasmean · 18/10/2016 13:25

Glad your kitty is OK. For the record, I would think long and hard about amputation, I think PTS may be kinder in some cases. Our kitty injured herself when very young, and I would probably have had her PTS if she had to have a leg amputated. Fortunately, at great time and expense, she pulled through. It wasn't the money - I just didn't want such a young cat to lose her leg. I have horses though, so probably have a more robust attitude to euthanasia - it is often the kindest, if not the easiest, choice. Take care.

Gileswithachainsaw · 18/10/2016 13:27

But cats cope fine on three legs what

They can still run jump climb and do all the stuff cats do. Why on earth would you pts for that

mysistersimone · 18/10/2016 13:30

Brilliant news, about the kitten and your Dad. Hopefully it's the start of a happier time for you all. Get an early night woman, ignore the nastiness (so easy to judge).

whattheseithakasmean · 18/10/2016 14:03

But cats cope fine on three legs Well that is a matter of opinion and could have formed the basis of a useful and helpful discussion for the OP, if posters had chosen to enjoy working themselves up into a froth of righteous rage and insulting the OP.

whattheseithakasmean · 18/10/2016 14:04

hadn't chosen, I mean. Honestly, why do people get a kick out of wading in to stick the boot in, rather than offer polite advice and counsel?

Costacoffeeplease · 18/10/2016 14:06

The fact that cats are fine on three legs has been mentioned a couple of times already