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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kitten dilema... WWYD

103 replies

Bookeatingboy · 17/10/2016 23:05

We've had our kitten a couple of weeks which sadly coincided with my father being very poorly and needing lots of support from me. This resulted in my not getting around to sorting insurance out.

Before everyone jumps on me, we are responsible cat owners and have always had pet insurance but my priorities were with my dad and I just forgot, so we could be facing a very big vet bill.

Kitten was fine this morning, running around as usual, then around 6 pm, noticed that he was limping and that is paw and leg had swollen to double it's size. Took straight to out of hours vet and looks like leg/paw is broken ( x-ray in the morning to confirm) Vet is saying because he is still so small will probably have to have the kittens leg amputated.

Here is my dilemma... My son who has ASD will just not cope with this, I know how his mind works and he will get very anxious, this coupled with the unknown of the quality of life the kitten will have is making me ask the question whether it might be kinder if we put him to sleep.

Really don't know what to do for the best, we could pay the vet bill so that's not my main worry. I just want to make the right decision for the kitten and my ds.

WWYD

OP posts:

WiddlinDiddlin · 18/10/2016 00:20

Amputate - kitty will recover quickly.

Explain to your son what is happening and why. Explain to him again when kitten comes home what has happened and why.

See if he can handle it, you say kitten is his best friend so explain it from that angle - he may have ASD but he is unless he is going to be cared for by you for the rest of his life, going to have to deal wtih SOME changes in life at some point.

If he REALLY can't handle it - then you rehome kitten.

Pinning, for those who suggested it, isn't a sensible option for a small kitten - bones grow and pins do not, causing problems (some fairly severe plus expensive) down the line.

KittensWithWeapons · 18/10/2016 00:39

Okay, well nobody was being nasty, they just didn't want you to have a kitten put to sleep because of an injury. Now you have said that you don't intend to do so, which is brilliant, but rather different to what was said in your OP, so you can't really blame the initial posters for reacting as they did.

Cats can function very well with three legs, my Nana and Granda's cat has been whizzing around on three legs for almost a decade. If, however, you don't think that your son will adapt to having a tripod kitty, I urge you to have him rehomed. Contact your local animal rescue. There are plenty of people who will take in less than perfect cats. Ours are all rejects . One was born a stray and so is rather stunted, she has tiny stumpy little legs. Our tiny girl is all legs and looks like a grumpy old man. Our big boy was rehomed three times before he came to us. He's a big affectionate lump who the previous rehomers couldn't manage. We're currently talking to the rescue to see if we're a suitable home for a wee one-eyed girl with cerebellar hypoplasia. So if your family can't handle a three legged cat, hopefully there will be people who will give him a nice home. I wouldn't normally advocate rehoming pets, but in this case it might be better for both your son and the kitten if the kitten goes to a home better equipped to look after him. I'm not saying that in an unpleasant way. DP and I have time to devote to our extra needs kitties because we don't have children yet.

EveOnline2016 · 18/10/2016 04:14

As a mother with a child with asd who had to have my kitten PTS due to kindness faliure after being sterilised, ds still misses her terrible more than he has ever done with other children going to new school.

If kitten needs amputation then you never know it may not even effect him.

I know that feeling every day trying to keep everything the same as it effects sleep and behaviours. Like tonight for me I stupidly changed the scent of the fabric conditioner and washed ds sheets, been up 23 hours all because of lack of thought.

People although are becoming more educated with autism they really don't understand how something so little can effect everything.

EveOnline2016 · 18/10/2016 04:14

Kidney not kindness

Magstermay · 18/10/2016 04:33

Cats do brilliantly with 3 legs, if it is a back leg especially as it affects their gait less than a front leg. However kittens heal very well so I would consider asking for a referral or second opinion on the X-rays if amputation is what the vet suggests. They may just have been making you aware of all the possibilities. That being said amputation is sometimes preferable to painful procedures and a lengthy recovery.

If you do feel your son can't cope I am sure the kitten will find a new home easily, especially with a 'sob story'. Good luck tomorrow.

GinIsIn · 18/10/2016 04:43

Why not just let it go to a new home?! 3 legs will not affect its quality of life, and there is absolutely no need to PTS!!

Original poster

Bookeatingboy · 18/10/2016 05:22

Eve thank you I really appreciate that, it was stupid of me to even consider having him PT, I've had a few bad nights with ds, this then coupled with my poorly father and the sleep deprivation sends your mind into overdrive.

Can I please just point out that I have already pointed out that I will not put the kitten to sleep, so there is absolutely no need for posters to keep harping on about that now. I've apologised for any upset my earlier post may have caused. We wont rehome him and will cope with helping ds through this if an amputation is needed.

I've been up all night with him and the morphine has clearly helped him get some rest. I've managed a couple of hours too on the sofa. We'll see what transpire later.

OP posts:

Waffles80 · 18/10/2016 06:04

OP - it's just a cat!

People on this thread reacting like it was a human child.

If the cost implications were high, I'd have it put to sleep. I'm not saying feed it to live wolves, but it's just a cat. Putting it to sleep wouldn't be the same as having it torn limb from limb.

rumbelina · 18/10/2016 06:44

Hope your dad's ok OP!

MrsBobDylan · 18/10/2016 06:57

Sorry you're Dad's poorly op and you are in this situation. Must be so hard. I also understand why you are worried about your son's reaction. Hope it all works out and your son cope's with the change. And also that you and the kitten managed to get some sleep.

Costacoffeeplease · 18/10/2016 07:16

Just a cat! You sound nice waffles

I doubt a responsible vet would pts in this situation

He'll be fine on 3 legs, I've known several 3 legged cats and we had a one eyed cat for years

TobleroneBoo · 18/10/2016 07:30

OP, you say you have only had kitten for a few weeks - where did it come from? Did it come with a months free insurance which may still be valid?

I was upset reading your OP, but having read on I can see you don't intend to get the cat pts. I had a 3 legged cat and it was quicker and much more agile than my others

mysistersimone · 18/10/2016 07:55

You sound like an exhausted, stressed mum who wasn't thinking clearly. I read your post as you have so much on your plate the kitten was more stress and you didn't known what to do for the best. You sound exhausted.

I hope things improve with your Dad and you have support and rest. I know how sleep deprivation can mess with your mind.

Madinche1sea · 18/10/2016 07:59

Just a cat! Why bother coming on a thread about a cat if that's all you have to say, Waffle? Extraordinary attitude and highly offensive. Pets are all some people have.

OP one of our cats broke his back led as a kitten. Whether or not the leg has to be amputated depends on whether the fracture is on a growth plate or not. In our cat's case, it wasn't. His leg was in a cast for 2-3 weeks that's all. Kittens heal very quickly. And cats with 3 legs do absolutely fine as well.

Fingers crossed for you at the vet today.

tofutti · 18/10/2016 08:04

Eveonline and others have given OP good advice. Time for others to sheathe their claws.

wildthingswere · 18/10/2016 08:15

I don't recommend sending to an animal rescue, I would much rather PTS than send to a rescue. They have a large number of healthy animals that they struggle to rehome, never mind a 3-legged one. I understand Waffles point, I think they are trying to say that it's just a cat, it doesn't understand death or any aspirations for the future. PTS gives a much more certain outcome than a rescue and I wish more people would just let animals be PTS rather than filling up animal rescues.

I understand your thought process OP, I'd give it a go and I think once bonded, your DS will love the cat even more.

acasualobserver · 18/10/2016 08:52

I wanted to say what Waffles said but wasn't brave enough.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/10/2016 08:59

I'm a cat owner/lover but I would have to think long and hard about amputating tbh.

What a horrible dilemma OP x

bimandbam · 18/10/2016 09:01

There are worse things to happen to a pet than being pts. The op could have just not taken the kitten or not followed the vets instructions. She could have dumped it at a shelter or turfed it in the canal.

Op I hope the x-ray goes well and you are able to make the right decision for you and your family and your kitten. And I am sorry to hear your dad is ill.

I am an avid animal lovers with a menagerie of pets and ponies. Next year I will be having a pony pts as she is older, dealing with a life long condition requiring expensive medication and management. I could keep her going another 10 years probably but have decided that after the summer she will be pts. Being an animal lover you do the best you can for your animals until you can't do anymore. Then in many cases pts is the best option. And hysteria and handwringing is often why animals find themselves either suffering unnecessarily or passed from pillar to post.

ohtheholidays · 18/10/2016 09:01

Good luck with the vets OP and I'm sorry about your Dad it sounds like everything has crashed down on you in one go.

I get where your coming from 2 of our 5DC are autistic,when things like this happen it's really hard to know what to do when you have a child that is autistic.

Soubriquet · 18/10/2016 09:03

I hope that everything works out ok OP

Glad you're not going to get it PTS. Like others have said, kittens cope very well.

Hopefully your ds will adjust even if it takes a bit longer.

Hope your dad is ok

NoFucksImAQueen · 18/10/2016 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Whatsshe0naboutnow · 18/10/2016 09:21

Casual - and you feel the need to tell people that?

Yes people dump animals and throw them in canals, but this does not mean it's ok to put an animal to sleep for convenience. This is not a race to the bottom fgs.

Anyway, the OP has clearly stated she will not have the kitten PTS so why let the thread descend into a string of goady and irrelevant comments?

acasualobserver · 18/10/2016 09:21

Waffle and the other poster who agreed please don't ever own pets

Can't speak for Waffles but your wish comes too late in my case!

NavyandWhite · 18/10/2016 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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