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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP unbearably rude; should I cancel tomorrows trip?

72 replies

justforthisonce · 14/10/2016 08:08

I have offered to take dp out tomorrow for a date/day out.

I tried to book tickets this morning and requested a good time from DP. I was met with a whole barrel of "I don't care" and "Im getting ready for work" and "whatever"

I feel totally deflated. Money is very tight for us this month and I've been saving to buy these ticket as we both knew.

I feel like cancelling and keeping the money with such little un enthusiam. WIBU to do this or is this creating a bigger drama?

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 14/10/2016 08:10

No, he sounds like an ungrateful cock. Keep the money for yourself

SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo · 14/10/2016 08:10

Doesn't sound like they want to go!

Sandsnake · 14/10/2016 08:12

This would piss me off as well. I'd wait till he comes home this evening to book, if you can. If he's still not interested then I wouldn't bother. If he is (and not rude!) then I would go ahead with the date - he might just have been having a grumpy morning and it would be a shame to let it ruin something that sounds lovely.

HermioneJeanGranger · 14/10/2016 08:12

I don't know, I hate being told to look forward to things! Sounds like you just caught DP at the wrong moment tbh.

Matchingbluesocks · 14/10/2016 08:15

I think you also caught him/ her at the wrong moment

GazingAtStars · 14/10/2016 08:17

What does "requested a good time" mean?

acasualobserver · 14/10/2016 08:17

Based on what he said, "unbearably rude" sounds a bit OTT.

PeachBellini123 · 14/10/2016 08:17

I'm pretty grumpy in the mornings (as is my partner) I think you're being too sensitive.

SaucyJack · 14/10/2016 08:19

You know the situation better than us.

Is he normally a miserable prick who likes to piss on your chips 🍟 ? Or were you just hounding him when he was trying to have his morning dump in peace?

Aeroflotgirl · 14/10/2016 08:20

Sounds like dh in the morning, he is very grumpy getting ready for work, and that kind of thing will be given the same reaction. I tend to talk to him, when he's back from work, had his tea, and is more relaxed. Dh is possibly on the ASD spectrum, so hates social events, and going out, like dd who also has ASD, what I think is fantastic, he will find difficult.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 14/10/2016 08:32

Try again, just once in a little while. I know if someone was asking me about what to do this evening as I'm busy getting dressed and ready for work in the morning I may be a little bit short with them and tell them "Whatever time you like" or "I don't care, I'm getting ready for work, you decide".

If I would come out with the above, I'd be more receptive to their questions after my first cup of coffee and I'd be able to help in the decision making if that was what was being asked of me.

See how you get on but don't give up just yet. You could be throwing away a great night out, you'll never know.

AnyFucker · 14/10/2016 08:33

Cancel the relationship

diddl · 14/10/2016 08:34

Does "I don't care" mean that he's not bothered about going or wants to go & any time will be OK?

I'm not at my best in the morning & if I said that I didn't mind what time, I wouldn't be wanting to keep being asked about it.
(if that's what happened).

doyouwantamedalorsomething · 14/10/2016 08:34

Is he at work and you not?

Ginslinger · 14/10/2016 08:38

gazingatstars I imagine 'requesting a good time' is asking what would be a convenient time for her DP. I think it's a good time to dump him

Original poster
justforthisonce · 14/10/2016 08:40

both working.....

It was after the first cup of coffee and breakfast..

Maybe I am being too sensitive, it just feels sad that something lovely could be met with such disinterest

The show is on tomorrow at various times.,...that's why I was asking what was the best time

Thanks for all the replies so far

OP posts:
Original poster
justforthisonce · 14/10/2016 08:42

I find lack of good manners unbearably rude and this fell into that.

DP also leaves the table in a middle of meal when we are all still eating to "relax" and claims i am being "Controlling" expecting us all to wait for each other to finish

Just plain old good manners I think!

Definate clash on manners in this household !

OP posts:
MidnightVelvetthe7th · 14/10/2016 08:42

Only you will know whether this was out of the ordinary for an otherwise lovely bloke or whether its symptomatic of a twat for a DP.

Your response depends on that really.

CheesyWeez · 14/10/2016 08:43

GazingAtStars I was also thinking it was 'I'll buy the tix if you will show me a good time" haha

OP Just ask dp if he/she wants to go to this show or would rather do something else. like stay home while you go Is it always you to organize every outing?

londonrach · 14/10/2016 08:44

Think you choose the wrong time to do it.

sonjadog · 14/10/2016 08:44

Ask him when he gets home this evening. His head was in work-mode when you were talking to him this morning. It happens. Ask him this evening and then if he still isn´t showing interest, ask him why.

EdmundCleverClogs · 14/10/2016 08:45

I also think you caught him at a bad time. Morning rush is not the best time to chase someone for times/about non-immediate things. If a child was following us around in the morning asking 'so when are we going to the place, how are we getting there I'm excited, are you excited?' Etc, it would be a bit annoying and frustrating when trying to get ready and out the door.

Unless he's like this the rest of the time as well. In which case, it doesn't sound like he's much fun to go anywhere with.

Babblehag · 14/10/2016 08:45

I'd be inclined to cancel, and buy myself some treats, or book and invite a friend instead, that way maybe in the future he might not be so bloomin' rude, when a date is being offered.

FloweryTwat · 14/10/2016 08:46

Are you a man OP - I'm guessing from the lack of gender in your posts. Regardless, no I wouldn't pay for tickets someone wasn't bothered about. If you want to go then maybe go with a friend?

TheWitTank · 14/10/2016 08:46

I don't know -I fully admit I'm not at my best in the morning, and would probably have told you I would text you shortly when I had time to think about it if I was running around getting ready. I don't think he was really rude, a bit off though definitely. Is it rare for him to be pissy about stuff?

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