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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give them choices for dinner anymore

55 replies

Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 17:12

I cook pretty much everything from scratch and do all the cooking in our house. I have a nice selection of homemade ready meals in the freezer which are great for busy days and when folks need to eat at different times.
After a busy day my DH and adult ds didn't fancy anything I had made. They were all meals they have happily eaten before but weren't in the mood for.
I gave them 7 different dinner options. Salmon supreme, beef lasagne, cottage pie, beef curry, shepherds pie made from leftover roast lamb, lentil curry or Mac and cheese.
I was met with "What else is there?"
They seriously expected me to come up with something else. I didn't.
Really fucked off with them for behaving like entitled twats. DH thought I was a bit out of order getting angry about it.

OP posts:
LadyCallandraDaviot · 10/10/2016 17:14

point them to the freezer/cupboards and let them get on with it!

HughLauriesStubble · 10/10/2016 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainbowunicorn · 10/10/2016 17:16

I wouldn't have offered choices in the first place. I would have made on thing put it in front of them and that would be the end of it.

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 17:17

Yeah I think I'm going to have to make some changes. Usually when I make dinner they are doing other chores. Maybe we should swap?

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 10/10/2016 17:18

I always offer a choice if it's my turn to cook. Take it or leave it.

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 17:19

When I cook a meal from scratch, that's what they eat. No choices. It's just when we are using the meals from the freezer that they get a choice. I just bung them in the oven, no extra work involved.

OP posts:
madein1995 · 10/10/2016 17:19

Yanbu, especially if they were just being fussy and not genuine likes or dislikes. Why did you do 7 meals op? I'd do 2 at a Max - catering to genuine likes and dislikes - but then as they're both adults they could sort their own meal out so no need really for 2 meals. I'm afraid o would shout, have a proper rant and tell them to cook their own fucking tea, call them twats, lazy bastards etc and remind them I Am wife/mum jo a short order bloody cook

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 17:21

made I had saved all these meals up in the freezer. No bloody way would I be cooking 7 different meals from scratch....I'm good but I'm not that good😂

OP posts:
MitzyLeFrouf · 10/10/2016 17:23

I gave them 7 different dinner options.

You've spoilt them for far too long. Let the indulged dh and adult son make their own dinner!

PinkFreesia · 10/10/2016 17:24

as long as there's cheese and bread, no ones going hungry.:)

MitzyLeFrouf · 10/10/2016 17:25

The only time I've ever had seven different dinner options is in a restaurant.

WiIdfire · 10/10/2016 17:25

You can keep the choice - just make it 'shepherds pie or sort yourself out'. Better still, on freezer recook days, just let them sort themselves out anyway. As you say, its no effort.

scurryfunge · 10/10/2016 17:26

Happy, I do this also...there is always enough food left over from every meal to freeze a portion for someone's packed lunch/ dinner alone when on shifts. It pisses me off when there is a meal in the freezer catering for every world food tastes but no one "fancies it". My mantra is eat it or die ( or make your own fucking delicacy).

FreshHorizons · 10/10/2016 17:28

You should never have given them choices in the first place!
Put your foot down and announce that you are not a restaurant and from now in there will be 3 choices:
Take it
Leave it
Cook your own.

Don't deviate from that - simply tell them it is not your problem.

TheRedCarWon · 10/10/2016 17:29

In our house the choices are: get what what you're given, sort yourself out or go hungry.
We have recently started planning our meals on a weekly basis so we know what to buy, what to expect and what to start cooking when we come home. This has helped massively with the nightly "what to make/dunno, you choose/cba to cook/there's nothing that'll make an actual meal" debacle. Saves us a fortune too.

Charlesroi · 10/10/2016 17:36

If it's stuff they normally eat and they 'just don't fancy it' then they ain't hungry. Direct them to the nearest tin opener/microwave.

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 19:35

Did I mention I'm a chef?.........
Also when I was asking them what they wanted I had a small notebook in my hand with a list of the freezer meals on it. My son laughed and said it looked like I was a waitress taking their orders. That might have been what pissed me off the most in hind sight.
I was a SAHM for 14 years (I did a bit of catering, cooking lessons and volunteered at my kids school during this time.)....definitely made a rod for my own back. This is going to be a big challenge for me to change their ways. Any suggestions on how to do it without too much conflict?

OP posts:
TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 10/10/2016 19:38

Just tell them you can't do it anymore!

No choice here. Meal planning. Sometimes I say 'steak tonight or Friday?'. Other than that you get what you are given. I only cook what I know is liked by all so not forcing unpleasant food on people.

YouTheCat · 10/10/2016 19:39

Stop cooking for them.

Make lovely meals and freeze them and let them sort themselves out.

I'd do it with conflict because they are taking the piss.

BuggersMuddle · 10/10/2016 19:50

I can see why it's annoying, but not sure why you'd be angry unless you were unable to just let them get on with it Confused given you are all adults.

Do you freeze individual portions? That's what we do so on day when we cba, if DP fancies chilli and I fancy chicken curry, then there's no problem.

Equally anyone who doesn't want to have what's in the freezer is more than welcome to cook for themselves / everyone, heat up some pasta & pesto or go to the chippy as they see fit....

cheapandcheerful · 10/10/2016 19:56

When I'm planning what to get from the supermarket I say to dh and dc "Anything you want from the supermarket or anything you're desperate to have for dinner in the near future?"

If they specify something at that point then I will buy the stuff and cook it on the day of my choosing, otherwise they get what they are given.

dirtywindows · 10/10/2016 20:01

I make a weekly menu that everyone is welcome to contribute to. I put it up on the fridge so they all know what they're getting each night. As I only buy ingredients for those meals and sometimes prepare in advance there are no options to make changes. Works well for us.

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 20:04

buggers I freeze individual portions but I organise dinner while they do other chores or sit on their arse.
I'm annoyed with them and felt disrespected because they expected me to give them more options even though I'd offered them 7 different ones.
It's been in the works for a while. DH has been much better the past few days RE dinner. My hissy fit must have worked a bit on him. Ds still need much more work.

OP posts:
2catsandadog · 10/10/2016 20:05

I have 2 options. Yes please and no thank you.

There is no other choice. And no. Takeaway ordering is not an option either.

JaceLancs · 10/10/2016 20:08

We eat whatever is available cheap - usually off the reduced counter, sometimes I will offer a choice of 2 options out of the freezer
For example I'll find some reduced butternut squash, courgettes and pepper which I can make a Mediterranean veg dish out of - I might then say what do you fancy with it chicken or salmon depending on what is in freezer
Other nights the meat/fish/chicken part could be on offer and I'll offer choice of veg (always depending on what I have in)
Sometimes there's no choices as that's all we have or on a lean week it might just be soup
Tonight was soup n cheesy crumpets