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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give them choices for dinner anymore

55 replies

Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 17:12

I cook pretty much everything from scratch and do all the cooking in our house. I have a nice selection of homemade ready meals in the freezer which are great for busy days and when folks need to eat at different times.
After a busy day my DH and adult ds didn't fancy anything I had made. They were all meals they have happily eaten before but weren't in the mood for.
I gave them 7 different dinner options. Salmon supreme, beef lasagne, cottage pie, beef curry, shepherds pie made from leftover roast lamb, lentil curry or Mac and cheese.
I was met with "What else is there?"
They seriously expected me to come up with something else. I didn't.
Really fucked off with them for behaving like entitled twats. DH thought I was a bit out of order getting angry about it.

OP posts:
MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 10/10/2016 20:12

On the days I cook - about one or two a week - there are three options.

  1. Eat it
  2. Make something else yourself
  3. Go hungry

However, everyone in this house is an adult, and more than capable of cooking for the whole family or for themselves, depending on the circumstances of the particular day.

OP, I've been to restaurants with less choice than you Shock

IminaPickle · 10/10/2016 20:17

Time for a new regime. If you've cooked ahead and have a freezer full, the first one home chooses and starts supper.

DangerousBeanz · 10/10/2016 20:21

We also meal plan at the start of the week, they have a say in the menu plan but the plan is stuck too. it saves money, reduces waste and saves time because because I know exactly whats being cooked every night and just get on with it.
Try it, it's worked for us.

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 20:25

jace the reduced section features regularly in our house. Supplemented with leftovers from our food business. I think the problem might be "too much choice." If I make something and that's all there is they eat it without complaining.
middle On the rare occasion when I'm not able to cook, DH cooks. We are lucky if there is any veg involved. DS can be a lazy sod but is also underweight. If I don't feed him he'll a) eat crisps and drink Coke....maybe instant noodles or b) nothing. He can cook. Nothing too complicated. I think we'll need to work on him.

OP posts:
Coughingchildren5 · 10/10/2016 20:26

Wow you run a restaurant! The only choice my beloved ones get is which clearing up job to volunteer for. Dishwasher or work tops lol

228agreenend · 10/10/2016 20:28

Don't ask what they want but tell them. IE. We're eating at six. If they complain, ignore them and point them In the direction of the toaster.

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 20:28

dangerous When the kids were younger I did a meal plan and it helped loads.
Nowadays we get the leftovers/waste from our work kitchen which is difficult to predict....I have to wing it most days.

OP posts:
BabyGanoush · 10/10/2016 20:29

You made yourself a slave by offereing all those options.... now they treat you with no resoect.

Stop being so accommodating! Go out instead (alone), burn all the freezer meals and let them fend for themselves.

Why martyr yourself like this, why why why?!

Passthecake30 · 10/10/2016 20:31

Another house where it's "get what you're given". I remember my mum asking every night, as I was eating my dinner, what I wanted the following night, it completely stopped me enjoying my meal.

If your meals are all good to go then can they help themselves?

bibbitybobbityyhat · 10/10/2016 20:35

I simply don't believe there is a person alive who has 7 different home made meal options in the freezer. And if there is - they need to get out more.

And, no, op - we don't have "choices" for dinner in this house as it is not a fucking restaurant.

Thefishewife · 10/10/2016 20:37

My choice is eat or make your own sandwich witch would be ham because I don't buy any other cold meat

Tomorrow we're having snapper and cuscus I have consulted no one I cook , shop. Prep so I get to choose

I happy for any moaners to take over but I am not running a pizza express and I am not a waitress

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 20:42

bibbity I was alive last I checked. I make extras when I cook and freeze things in portions. Got a counter top freezer purely for storing my own ready meals in. I like my family to eat unprocessed food. It's worth the effort........when it's appreciated. I should just fill my freezer with macaroni cheese, beef chili and homemade pizza.....and let them help themselves.
I'm a chef so cooking is something I enjoy doing, even if it's after I've been cooking all day for a living.

OP posts:
melibu84 · 10/10/2016 20:44

They're acting like entitled twats because you've let them. Don't give them a choice. When I was a kid, I didn't have a say in dinner, I ate what I was given, and it was still yummy.

melibu84 · 10/10/2016 20:57

I should have added, and the same applies now if my mum is cooking, or if I'm cooking for DP.

oldlaundbooth · 10/10/2016 21:03

SIL cooks once a week and gets thrown flowers every time she does, its the best meal ever, she's such a star etc. Rest of time it's takeaways etc.

Maybe try that tactic instead.

Lunde · 10/10/2016 21:08

Do not give so many options - you are not running a food service at home as well as work. It only encourages fussy eating If they want more choice they need to fix their own meals from the freezer or make a sandwich

PickledCauliflower · 10/10/2016 21:11

If they don't like the 7 options - there are 2 more. Beans on toast and weetabix.

RNBrie · 10/10/2016 22:09

Yanbu.

Now please can I have your recipe for Salmon Supreme? Blush

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 23:03

I grew up with no choice for dinner. I remember forcing down liver, tripe, steak and kidney pie and other marvels that my mum had massacred. She wasn't the best cook and we weren't wealthy. We had to eat what was on offer. This is probably a good contributor as to why I am so accommodating regarding meals.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 23:05

rnbrie it basically salmon poached in milk and then that milk used to make a cheese sauce. We have ours with broccoli and rice....and use either Costco cave matures cheddar or Sainsbury's mature organic.....and lots of it.

OP posts:
madmomma · 10/10/2016 23:30

happy I also want your recipes, and I think your family are very lucky. I wish I enjoyed making dinners.

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 10/10/2016 23:36

madmomma I think a big factor in me catering to my family, beyond having the ability to, is that I actually enjoy cooking. I don't enjoy not being appreciated or taken for granted though.

OP posts:
madmomma · 10/10/2016 23:49

Can you recommend a good course ,happy,? I think I'd probably enjoy it if I knew what I was doing. I don't know how to learn, if that makes sense. Noone in my family can cook

Original poster
Happyhippy45 · 11/10/2016 09:33

madmomma this page is good. Down to earth, good ideas and tips to save money too.
www.facebook.com/FYFA20PW/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel#

OP posts:
madmomma · 11/10/2016 12:22

It won't let me open the link