Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh god, I could'nt have handled this any worse..

74 replies

Mummyyummy2012 · 20/09/2016 20:17

DS is 8 and always loses weight when school starts. I suspect there are issues in school with kids not getting enough time for lunch and rushing out to play. In previous years I have been in to see the head about it. DS is always asking for food at home too.
Anyway, he's looking skinny again already and I am obviously concerned. It's like I have to feed him up during the holidays.
I handled it really badly though earlier as I commented that I thought he was looking skinny again and asked if he was getting enough time to eat in school- he got very upset and cross with me.
Clearly, I handled it REALLY badly as shouldn't have referred to his weight etc but obviously I'm really worried that I am already seeing weight loss.
Aibu to ask for advice about how to handle talking to him about this? I want to tread carefully but obvs I need to know if they are being rushed and not getting time to eat at lunchtime.

OP posts:
HeCantBeSerious · 20/09/2016 20:25

My DC hate school meals - partly because they're shit and secondly because they aren't hungry at 12pm. I send packed lunches which they pick at at 12pm and then polish off in the car at 3:30pm (when they are actually hungry). Is that an option?

Whatsername17 · 20/09/2016 20:27

As he is primary aged I'd ring the school and ask that he is not allowed out to play until he has eaten his lunch. At my dd's school they have to ask the dinner lady if they can leave the table. They don't let them unless they have eaten enough. Kids don't always make meal times a priority and need a bit of adult guidance.

lalalalyra · 20/09/2016 20:30

Are they being rushed or is he rushing? I had to ask the school to be strict on my DS (also 8) because he was bolting down one or two forkfuls and then dashing out to play. It only came out because his teacher found him struggling for the last part of the day and we linked that to him coming out of school absolutely starving.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 20/09/2016 20:33

Is the weight loss maybe because he is running around more and just generally more active at school?

RubbleBubble00 · 20/09/2016 20:41

Just feed hi higher calorie meals in morning and night, add supper can help. I wouldn't be stressing too much about lunches at school. One of my dc us on meds that means he's not hungry at lunch so we just make his other meals higher in calories

GabsAlot · 20/09/2016 20:47

are you sure its a food thing-he clearly has a problem with school if he eats fine with you

maybe some kids are teasing him?

Floggingmolly · 20/09/2016 20:47

He only eats lunch at school Confused. Could eating a smaller lunch than he usually does really make him lose a significant amount of weight?

RandomMess · 20/09/2016 20:55

My daughter skipped lunch as much as possible to avoid her bullies Sad

Salmotrutta · 20/09/2016 21:00

When you say he's "looking skinny" what exactly do you mean?

I'm thinking BeingATwat is right.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 20/09/2016 21:00

8 year old boys can look really skinny but be a perfectly healthy weight. Have you weighed and measured him and checked it against his yellow/red book? Might be he is not underweight but just weighs less than during the holidays when he eats more.

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/09/2016 21:02

My DD takes a packed lunch and she chooses something from it at morning break. Could you send him in with a morning snack or encourage him to have a Packed lunch and do the samE?

Salmotrutta · 20/09/2016 21:02

I'm probably going to get flamed for this but I think people have a skewed view nowadays on what a "normal" child weight and appetite is.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 20/09/2016 21:06

What did the HT say when you asked them before?
Either he's not eating or he's burning off energy. You can ask the school to check how much he is eating but tbh if they single him out to monitor his lunch then that's just as likely to give him issues about food. I'd be tempted to take the approach that he only has one meal at school and the rest of the time he is with you so you can up his calorie intake then.

Justjoseph · 20/09/2016 21:08

I'll join you under a hard hat Salmo.

Amazed at how much crap my friends children eat. Amazed at how big their portions are. No you don't need pudding every mealtime.

Mine are considered skinny. They look just how we all did back in the day ( excusing the one fat kid) I am shocked at how big children have got.

user1474401277 · 20/09/2016 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HeCantBeSerious · 20/09/2016 21:11

At my dd's school they have to ask the dinner lady if they can leave the table. They don't let them unless they have eaten enough.

That's outrageous.

ChoudeBruxelles · 20/09/2016 21:12

How skinny is skinny.? Ds is skinny but not underweight. He goes through phases of eating like a horse and will then have a growth spurt.

You're ds is not going to waste away from not eating a massive school lunch. I'd be more worried about why he isn't eating much - bullying etc

user1474401277 · 20/09/2016 21:12

You do need pudding, thank you very much, Joseph. It's what gives kids the beans to run around all day. My Joseph enjoys nothing more than a frube in the evening, all the best for your friend's kids though, i just don't think it's your place to judge.
~ Louise Grinxx

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 20/09/2016 21:13

I always need pudding but no one has ever worried about me being too skinny. Grin

sausagefest · 20/09/2016 21:14

Do him a packed lunch?

Pixie2015 · 20/09/2016 21:19

My 8y old the same rushes to get out to play - he is aware that if he is hungry it's his problem for not eating break snacks or lunch - I just make sure he has breakfast and milk and his evening meal at 4 pm x

BastardGoDarkly · 20/09/2016 21:20

Are you pissed User ? You're acting a bit strange.

Justjoseph · 20/09/2016 21:20

Nope it's why the nation is overweight.
Puddings were traditionally given to pad out cheap/poor meals.

Better quality food gives you the energy to run around not a stodgy pudding.

Not judging you though eat what ever you like.

Salmotrutta · 20/09/2016 21:20

No. You don't need pudding user147.

Salmotrutta · 20/09/2016 21:23

Grin @ Bastard