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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to say 'no' to this?

64 replies

Darmody · 18/09/2016 16:54

DP is a huge fan of a certain long-running and popular music festival, and has attended this about 20 times since the late 80s. I have attended 4 times since DP and I got together - the first time I liked, the other times I hated for various reasons. The last time we went DP said that we would have to go as this would likely be the last one before we started a family - I didn't want to go but eventually caved.

Now DP is talking about going next year, on the basis that we haven't been for years, and the DCs would love it (probably true). I'm just not a 'festival-going' type person, and think that traipsing around this place for days with school age children would be a nightmare. If I do go to a festival I want to spend the weekend drinking and relaxing - if I can't do that, I'd rather just not go.

We also live outside the UK so it'll be an enormous expense just getting there, never mind tickets and everything else, but DP is really pushing on this. I have half a mind to say, if you want to take the DCs, take them and best of luck, but I also know if I don't agree I'll feel rubbish about spoiling things.

AIBU to stand firm on this?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 18/09/2016 16:55

YANBU. Can't he go with a friend instead?

Amandahugandkisses · 18/09/2016 16:56

If he wants to go so much why doesn't he go by himself with friends? I don't think you're being unreasonable at all!

KathArtic · 18/09/2016 16:58

It would be great experience for your children. Stay at home and let him take them.

DerekSprechenZeDick · 18/09/2016 16:58

Tell him to go with friends or even take the kids alone

RJnomore1 · 18/09/2016 17:01

Him and the kids go, you stay at home with wine abandoned watch on to from the comfort of the couch.

Win win.

SaucyJack · 18/09/2016 17:03

YANBU.

Have you both looked at doing Camp Bestival? Might be a reasonable compromise.

daimbar · 18/09/2016 17:03

Agree with other posters. Don't see why you all have to all go. If it's Glastonbury I personally would t take my DC until they were about 8.

Let him go with friends

LazyJournalistsCanKissMyArse · 18/09/2016 17:05

Don't go to Glastonbury with kids. It'll be a huge ball ache.

Much better to go to Camp Bestival or something like that.

Laiste · 18/09/2016 17:08

How old are the kids? Let him take them. Why would it be such a big deal for you not to come? Let it be a 'him and them' special thing they do together.

19lottie82 · 18/09/2016 17:10

Lazy doesn't Glastonbury have a huge family area? It's supposed to be awesome!

expatinscotland · 18/09/2016 17:20

He can go and take the kids.

Original poster
Darmody · 18/09/2016 17:21

Glastonbury does have a massive family area, and it seemingly is awesome....if you like that kind of thing.

I do feel like I'm being pretty miserable, but I feel like I compromised enough on going to this the times I did (one of which was one of the worst weekends I've ever had), and the last time we went DP basically wore me down by saying we'd never go again once we had DCs. Also, as I said above, I'm just not that into festivals. For ourselves I'd prefer something like a short city break to see a concert or something; if we were holidaying with DCs a trip to see overseas family would be better.

DCs are 5 and 7, so I think the whole thing would be stressful (I know there are people who do this, and good for them). I work full-time, with a fair bit of stress and long commutes, so I value my leave as a time to relax.

DP isn't pressurising or anything, but I do feel like I'm expected just to eventually go along with it.

OP posts:
daisypond · 18/09/2016 17:22

No need for you to go. He can go on his own with the kids as long as he'll be in "parent" mode while he's there.

LazyJournalistsCanKissMyArse · 18/09/2016 17:23

lottie I know people who've done it with kids and said it was brilliant, but personally I find Glastonbury too big. You have to walk bloody miles and miles from your tent to where the action is. I can't imagine doing that with kids. Would be very hard to tag team in the evening.

I just found Camp Bestival much easier to get around with little ones. It all felt more manageable.

hardtopinpoint · 18/09/2016 17:23

Of course you can go along with it.

He wants to go, the kids want to go. Let them go.

Presumably you're not joined at the hip?

plus a weekend on your own would be bliss

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 18/09/2016 17:26

I thought Glastonbury was having a fallow year for 2017 so no festival.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 18/09/2016 17:27

Sorry that's 2018! Tell him you don't fancy it this year but you'll go next!!

supermoon100 · 18/09/2016 17:30

I am always trying to get my husband to do adventurous things with the kids and feel sad he says no so often. Families that play together stay together! You're in the minority, and I think your family would appreciate it if you compromised.

ArcheryAnnie · 18/09/2016 17:32

Does your DH realise that it will be a completely different experience with a 5 year old and a 7 year old? That he's not going to see any bands after 8 pm as the kids will be in the tent and tired, and that he's not going to be able to sleep off his hangover in the morning as if the kids are awake and out of the tent, he'll have to be awake and out of the tent, too?

I think the only way I'd agree to go to a festival with small children is if I went with one of the glamping options (like the wooden sheds, or the pods, or yurts or whatever) but that would cost a FORTUNE.

Lorelei76 · 18/09/2016 17:33

You've been
You know you hate it
It would be mad to go
He can go with the kids or with friends.

Original poster
Darmody · 18/09/2016 17:34

your family would appreciate it if you compromised.

Yeah, I know they would.

Also, I'm not sure if this has any bearing, but I manage an office full of 19-20 year old apprentices, and the other day they were listening to Radio 1 and I used the phrase "that's not music, it's just a noise" unironically.

So it's possible I'm far to uncool to be allowed to go to Glastonbury....

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 18/09/2016 17:34

I love Glastonbury, haven't been for a few years but am planning on going next year. Dh has clearly stated its not his thing so will be staying at home with dd (3). I wouldn't take her till she was about 8 I reckon.

Let him take them and you stay at home!!

MiddleClassProblem · 18/09/2016 17:35

Yeah I thought last year was the last before moving in 2018 or something?

Charlesroi · 18/09/2016 17:35

Why would it spoil things if you don't go? He wants to go, the kids want to go, you don't. Wave them off with a cheery goodbye and I bet he doesn't suggest it again

Lj8893 · 18/09/2016 17:41

middle it's definitely on in the usual venue in 2017. 2018 will be a fallow year, who knows what will happen after that!

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