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AIBU?

...to say 'no' to this?

64 replies

Darmody · 18/09/2016 16:54

DP is a huge fan of a certain long-running and popular music festival, and has attended this about 20 times since the late 80s. I have attended 4 times since DP and I got together - the first time I liked, the other times I hated for various reasons. The last time we went DP said that we would have to go as this would likely be the last one before we started a family - I didn't want to go but eventually caved.

Now DP is talking about going next year, on the basis that we haven't been for years, and the DCs would love it (probably true). I'm just not a 'festival-going' type person, and think that traipsing around this place for days with school age children would be a nightmare. If I do go to a festival I want to spend the weekend drinking and relaxing - if I can't do that, I'd rather just not go.

We also live outside the UK so it'll be an enormous expense just getting there, never mind tickets and everything else, but DP is really pushing on this. I have half a mind to say, if you want to take the DCs, take them and best of luck, but I also know if I don't agree I'll feel rubbish about spoiling things.

AIBU to stand firm on this?

OP posts:

Report

Seeline · 20/09/2016 10:12

Get him to take the kids away camping for the weekend and see if he/they can cope with that, before getting all carried away about the travel/festival issues.

BringMeTea · 20/09/2016 10:07

OP you still haven't said why he can't go with the children and you stay home? I assume he wouldn't do it. You should not go if you don't want to.

Darmody · 20/09/2016 09:59

Is there a festival near you which you could all go to as a day trip, to try out the concept of going to one with kids?

We have been to a festival just half-an-hour from us, and even that was exhausting, and we could leave and go home whenever (it also cost £10 to get in, as opposed to £250 a go!). It was great, but not the undertaking thaat this would be.

I would bet that he wants you to go so that you do the childcare, he get to enjoy it all as much as ever,

Hand on heart, I don't think that would be a problem. It's just the sheer commitment of time and money for something I'm not interested in. That's kind of why I feel miserable and selfish about not wanting to go.

Also just had some shit news at work and really don't feel like being pushed to make a decision right now.

OP posts:

Izzabellasasperella · 18/09/2016 22:52

Thank goodness that guy was an arse. I wonder if she married him in the end. Does anyone remember that op and know what happened?

chipmonkey · 18/09/2016 22:28

Darmody, are you in Ireland? Body and Soul is supposed to be great for kids if you are.

Meeep · 18/09/2016 21:18

Why doesn't he go with a few friends instead?

flightywoman · 18/09/2016 21:14

I do like festivals, but I wouldn't take my child because I'd actually like to see the bands and not spend all my time in the children's area and then at the tent. I cou,d do that for a lot less than a festival ticket.

I would bet that he wants you to go so that you do the childcare, he get to enjoy it all as much as ever, you get stuck in the tent for the evening.

Darmody · 18/09/2016 21:08

Izzabella

No, not me.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/09/2016 21:02

I don't like camping and DH does. So he takes DD. They have a nice time and so do I. He's also managed to convince an increasing number of his friends. I still don't understand why he can't take the kids on his own...

BestZebbie · 18/09/2016 21:01

I went to a festival with DS on my own this year, because DH didn't want to come. We had a good time, but it was a bit sad seeing all the other families there together. It was a totally different experience to going to festivals as a teen/young adult where things only really got going after dinner and then carried on into the early hours, if that is what your DH really wants then he will have to go alone.

Izzabellasasperella · 18/09/2016 21:00

Darmody was that you that used to post about his obsession with Glastonbury then?

supermoon100 · 18/09/2016 20:55

'Isitjustme' has got the right idea, we all do things we're not mad on sometimes, but our participation enhances the experience for others. Yes I like festivals but not sure I could handle one on my own with the kids which is why I have more or less given up on them.

Couldashouldawoulda · 18/09/2016 20:55

Is there a festival near you which you could all go to as a day trip, to try out the concept of going to one with kids? They're really quite young to go, if you ask me.

Whereismumhiding2 · 18/09/2016 20:37

A lot of PP have suggested he takes DC alone ... What's your view OP? Do you think that would work?

Darmody · 18/09/2016 20:28

Izzabella

That's not unlike my story - our wedding was timed specifically so we could go to Glastonbury after it. That was supposed to be the swansong!

OP posts:

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse · 18/09/2016 20:07

It would be a great experience for your DCs (and DH) but only if you can enjoy it too, otherwise it'll be miserable for everyone. BUT Don't we all do things that are a bit of a compromise for our DH/DCs at some point? I'm going to see Dreamgirls (with Amber Riley) with my DDs, I have no idea how I'm going to make it through, but I'm sure I will be able to look back on it with fondness because they are going to freaking love it. I'm also going to see David Gilmour (again....) with DH in a couple of weeks.......urgh. DH can't wait but I can. So I've booked us in to a lovely hotel for the night to soften the blow. If it will cost a fortune anyway, could you maybe somehow afford to do it but book a fab VW camper van to go in and take a lot of vino? You might enjoy it then!

LaContessaDiPlump · 18/09/2016 19:48

Izzabella that's who I thought of!

EweAreHere · 18/09/2016 19:47

Not harsh at all to suggest he takes them if he really wants to go and share the experience with them.

What a ridiculous thing to say.

Izzabellasasperella · 18/09/2016 19:44

Does anyone remember the poster who's dp loved Glastonbury and wanted to honeymoon there or postpone the wedding to go or something? She had deeper problems with him than just a festival though.

Ragwort · 18/09/2016 19:37

Let him go on his own with the kids? That's a bit harsh isn't it?

Why is it 'harsh' for a father to take his own children away for a weekend - would anyone say that about a mother taking her children away.

GrumpyMummy123 · 18/09/2016 19:00

Regardless of if it's Glastonbury or camping or a cruise or climbing a mountain - if it's a holiday you wouldn't enjoy and would find stressful then put your foot down.

If he really wants to go say he can go without you. Putting pressure on you to agree to a trip you don't want to go on isn't fair. Would he really enjoy it if you did you go and was stressed and unhappy the whole time?!

LaContessaDiPlump · 18/09/2016 18:53

Are you the Glastonbury widow, op? I'm sure I've read posts like this before. If so, you have a DH problem, not a festival problem.

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00100001 · 18/09/2016 18:51

Suprmoon but OP hates being there... why shouldn she be the "supportive one" and not the dad??

expatinscotland · 18/09/2016 18:49

The OP hates festivals, super. What's 'harsh' about a parent taking their kids to an event they enjoy and sharing it with them on his own?

gleam · 18/09/2016 18:44

Perhaps you like festivals, though, supermoon?

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