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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To plan a few skive days with my youngest DD 4

60 replies

Kiddiewinks2008 · 09/09/2016 21:23

My littlest is starting school and I'm feeling so sad- feel like I am losing my baby to the 'system' and losing my littlw hang out in parks weekday best friend.
I might do a couple of friday skive days with her this first term so I can still hang out with her a bit! Aibu? Is that really bad?!? If i had the money I would take both my kids travelling for a year so I could spend more time with them!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 09/09/2016 21:24

I will be shouted down but I wouldnt

DerekSprechenZeDick · 09/09/2016 21:25

If it's just nursery go ahead but she will get used to it so when it stops she won't like it

Parks are open after school you know, you can go then.

Tbh I've never understood people who aren't happy their kids are gone for a few hours Grin

AmyGDalae · 09/09/2016 21:25

I think it's a lovely idea.

cheminotte · 09/09/2016 21:28

When does your youngest turn 5? Don't legally have to be at school until the next. Ds1 struggled with school and I agreed with his teacher we would have the odd day off.

Original poster
Kiddiewinks2008 · 09/09/2016 21:28

Its reception and I am not thinking every week or anything- just a couple days! The reception teacher even said that if little ones were tired, she didnt mind the kids having half days sometimes - i havent done it with DS

OP posts:
Buttercupsandaisies · 09/09/2016 21:29

I wouldn't as the first few months are important for settling and making new friends. Things change daily with friends at this stage - they may discuss things she weren't involved in etc so she'll feel left out Plus it's not the best example to set so early on!

Haven't you used the summer to maximise the park etc?

Original poster
Kiddiewinks2008 · 09/09/2016 21:29

DD 5 next April

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 09/09/2016 21:31

But what about your older child / children ? You say littlest? So older one/s still go to school while you gest gets the day Off?.

Whatsername17 · 09/09/2016 21:33

I wouldn't. It creates bad habits. You will never go more than 8 weeks without at least a weeks holiday so there really is no need.

smokeybandit · 09/09/2016 21:34

Maybe you could get a hobby instead to take up the time, and spend weekends in the park. Doesn't everyone else have to do that? Is it just you having trouble adjusting, what if your daughter really enjoys school?

DerekSprechenZeDick · 09/09/2016 21:35

Meet friends for a pub lunch instead. So much more fun and there's alcohol.

None of that at the park

Munstermonchgirl · 09/09/2016 21:35

Make some new little hang out friends

Sundance01 · 09/09/2016 21:35

If it feels right to you then just do it....might be nice to do it with your older ones sometimes as well.

Wolfiefan · 09/09/2016 21:37

I wouldn't. They need to settle into a routine. This would be for your benefit. Not hers. Plan a nice half term instead.

flamingnoravera · 09/09/2016 21:37

Is this for her or for you? It its for you then you should think twice. If she needs a bit more time with you then that is different. You are the parent and she needs you to be clear with your boundaries and not use her to comfort your feelings of loss when she goes to school.

hownottofuckup · 09/09/2016 21:39

Yea if you want to, sounds fine.
I initially read it as 'sky dives' so was Shock for a sec, skive days seem quite sensible in comparison.

EccentricPickle · 09/09/2016 21:41

I wouldn't.

They pick up so many bugs in reception that they end up taking plenty of days off anyway, plus reception is a time when they're forming friendships with other children so it's better that they're there. If you let her have a day off here and there you're sending confusing messages that it's ok to skive. Will she not play up when it's a day that she has to go in and doesn't want to?

Leeds2 · 09/09/2016 21:57

I wouldn't. And didn't.

I don't think you would be unreasonable to do so though, but don't pull your DD out of school if she is clearly happy there.

Hoppinggreen · 09/09/2016 22:00

Not a good idea because of the message it's sending - it's ok to miss school for no reason.
What if she decides she wants to Skive but you don't?

pictish · 09/09/2016 22:01

I'm all for a rare skive day. I have done it a handful of times over 15 years and 3 children.

If it were me I would aim to do this later in the year or after Christmas. She's only wee and you don't want her thinking she can have a day off just because she feels like it. As much as it's sad to see them swallowed into the system, the fact is, they do better when they accept it and know that's the way it's going to be.

Do it by all means...but maybe later once she's settled into the school regime.

I do relate to you...but that's my feeling on it.

pictish · 09/09/2016 22:02

That's right Hoppinggreen I agree.

This notion serves you well OP but it could be misleading for your dd.

trafalgargal · 09/09/2016 22:02

Were you this needy with the others too?
You sound a bit pathetic TBH this is all about your needs and no concern about whether you child will make a happy transition or not so long as you still have a playmate.
Still your child ,your decision , is the child's father in the picture and is he equally unconcerned about the child's education ?

pictish · 09/09/2016 22:03

Although...in the grand scheme of things it won't matter a toss.

user1471552005 · 09/09/2016 22:04

I wouldn't. You are in danger of setting up a bad relationship with school staff.

You will have to inform the school if your DD is not attending that day, they usually need to know before 9am.
What will you tell them? That your daughter is sick? Or that you have decided to go to the park instead. If the latter it will be marked as unauthorised absence and you are likely to be invited in to the school to explain yourself.
If you use sickness as an excuse then that puts your DD in a difficult situation-the school office is likely to ask what is wrong with her: will you tell your DD to lie to her teacher and classmates?
What if your daughter tells someone or her teacher that she saw a cute dog/ a man selling balloons in the park on Friday.
What if the teacher asks your DD if her "sore throat" is better?
You are putting yourself and your DD in a difficult situation and may end up being seen as untrustworthy.
Children only go to school for 190 days a year, leaving 175 days a year to do as you like. plenty time to go to the park.

MrsJayy · 09/09/2016 22:06

What would your son think if your Dd said to him i didnt go to school today me and mummy went to the park instead ? A few hang out days is silly over sentimental and sending out the wrong message imo