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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really pissed at DH?

73 replies

doorwideopen · 24/08/2016 20:12

I work in a school (separate school from where our DC attend). DH also works full time. As I work in education, I have amused and entertained the DC for 6 long weeks on my own.

The DC return to school on Wednesday 7th. I return back on Monday 5th. DH knows this. We have very limited childcare options.

DH has now announced he's used his 2 last remaining annual leave days for a long bank holiday weekend away with the lads. Apparently he "forgot" that the DC need sorting for 2 days while I'm in work Hmm

I don't give a shit that he's going away. I do however give a shit that he's been utterly self centered and now we are screwed about childcare for the 5th and 6th of September. He just automatically assumes that all childcare responsibilities fall on me by default.

FFS Angry

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 24/08/2016 20:14

So I assume he's cancelling the holiday or applying for unpaid parental leave?

I'd just say to him 'let me know when you've sorted it' and leave it at that.

And make sure you're the first out the door on the 5th.

Gah. I'm sorry, what an arseholeish thing to do.

ImperialBlether · 24/08/2016 20:15

He has to find the solution to this and if that means he gives up his holiday, so be it.

I don't like the sound of him, though. Are you happy?

GeorgeTheThird · 24/08/2016 20:15

If you sort this out, nothing will ever change. Make him sort it out.

SapphireStrange · 24/08/2016 20:16

I'd just say to him 'let me know when you've sorted it' and leave it at that.

This 100%. What an arse.

YelloDraw · 24/08/2016 20:17

Yup. What a dick.

Cherrysoup · 24/08/2016 20:18

What Jassy said, with bells on!

Original poster
doorwideopen · 24/08/2016 20:20

Yes I'm happy Smile

This is a snap shot image, he's generally lovely, albeit being a thoughtless prick right now.

He'll end up ringing my mother and grovelling for help. My mother is wonderful and will of course drop everything/cancel her plans and come to us right away to have the DC for 2 whole days. It's just not the fucking point though.

OP posts:
DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 24/08/2016 20:20

Had you discussed it at some point where you said/made a note on a noticeboard/calendar etc "Take AL for these days?"
You say he knew but had you talked about him actually taking leave those days?

Fwiw you shouldn't have to be the person solely thinking about childcare practicalities.
I think I'd ask him to sort out reliable childcare for these two days or he wouldn't be going away.

Original poster
doorwideopen · 24/08/2016 20:21

I hadn't directly requested him book 2 days off work no. We did however discuss more than once that I will be returning to work 2 days before the DC went back.

OP posts:
GeorgeTheThird · 24/08/2016 20:22

Why should she have to tell him to take annual leave?

I bet he never reminds her when she needs to do stuff for the kids.

Why does she have to do all the thinking?

DeadGood · 24/08/2016 20:24

Agree with george

Original poster
doorwideopen · 24/08/2016 20:24

Also agree with george Grin

OP posts:
Missgraeme · 24/08/2016 20:30

Maybe his passport will go missing......

JassyRadlett · 24/08/2016 20:31

Yeah, the bit where he's a grown up who has equal parental responsibility for his kids leads me to also agree with George.

Can you have a word with your mum? It doesn't seem fair on her that he has an easy out for being a numpty.

paddypants13 · 24/08/2016 20:35

Ring your mum and tell her not to have the dc's under any circs. Infirm dh that he will need to make alternative arrangements or cancel his weekend away.

paddypants13 · 24/08/2016 20:36

Ring your mum and tell her not to have the dc's under any circs. Infirm dh that he will need to make alternative arrangements or cancel his weekend away.

Cabrinha · 24/08/2016 20:36

I'd be asking my mother to refuse (but secretly be available)
Put him through some hassle so he learns Hmm

paddypants13 · 24/08/2016 20:36

Ring your mum and tell her not to have the dc's under any circs. Infirm dh that he will need to make alternative arrangements or cancel his weekend away.

Bestthingever · 24/08/2016 20:37

You have my sympathies. I work in a school and constantly have to remind dh about insets etc. It is pissing off. I think this is his problem to solve.

trinity0097 · 24/08/2016 20:37

Are some of your days INSET? Can they not come into school with you?

SapphireStrange · 24/08/2016 20:46

Why does she have to do all the thinking?
This.

Are some of your days INSET? Can they not come into school with you?
Bollocks to this.

Don't let him wrap your mum round his little finger, OP. Why should she drop everything because he can't organise himself like an adult?

Original poster
doorwideopen · 24/08/2016 20:49

One day is inset yes, the other is training off premesis.

I could take them to school with me on the inset, if I really had to, but then I'd just be picking up DH's slack.

Off premesis training, no way.

OP posts:
Original poster
doorwideopen · 24/08/2016 20:50

My mother is beyond wonderful, she would tell me to shut the hell up and would be straight over to have the DC if I told her not to!

OP posts:
RhiWrites · 24/08/2016 20:51

He should cancel his jolly with the lads. But clearly he has no intention of taking responsibility for his own children.

SapphireStrange · 24/08/2016 20:55

I think your mother needs to stop enabling him.

That's NOT a criticism of her, to be crystal-clear; she sounds wonderful. But you get what I mean, I'm sure.

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