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AIBU?

AIBU to be really pissed at DH?

73 replies

doorwideopen · 24/08/2016 20:12

I work in a school (separate school from where our DC attend). DH also works full time. As I work in education, I have amused and entertained the DC for 6 long weeks on my own.

The DC return to school on Wednesday 7th. I return back on Monday 5th. DH knows this. We have very limited childcare options.

DH has now announced he's used his 2 last remaining annual leave days for a long bank holiday weekend away with the lads. Apparently he "forgot" that the DC need sorting for 2 days while I'm in work

I don't give a shit that he's going away. I do however give a shit that he's been utterly self centered and now we are screwed about childcare for the 5th and 6th of September. He just automatically assumes that all childcare responsibilities fall on me by default.

FFS

OP posts:

Report

ClopySow · 25/08/2016 22:42

Yabu now

Believeitornot · 25/08/2016 21:44

Well you came back with quite some aggressive language so what do you expect!

Trifleorbust · 25/08/2016 21:28

No but you have made some fairly extreme comments about other posters. I definitely think you are being unreasonable.

doorwideopen · 25/08/2016 21:26

I'm not on trail here ffs

OP posts:

Trifleorbust · 25/08/2016 21:18

You specifically said he assumes all childcare responsibilities fall on you. Now you are saying he does a lot of the childcare.

Believeitornot · 25/08/2016 21:16

It is human nature to make assumptions.

They go by what you post and take it from there.

You didn't provide anything to indicate that actually your dh is lovely and made a mistake.

So don't be surprised at the leaps people make. It's normal human behaviour

doorwideopen · 25/08/2016 21:08

I just think it would make more sense for people to read the actual post and stick with the facts rather than the original poster having to type and explain every detail irrelevant or not surley?

OP posts:

Trifleorbust · 25/08/2016 21:05

OP, people may have gone a bit over the top with the comments but your original post did make him sound a bit more of a dick than in fact he is . Some of that is on you for not giving the caveat that he is usually completely supportive and does half of everything.

doorwideopen · 25/08/2016 20:35

Because I didn't post half the things people were making assumptions about.

"People go by what you post"

No they don't.

OP posts:

Believeitornot · 25/08/2016 20:16

Your reaction is a little extreme. People go by what you post.

Not sure why you're going over the top.

doorwideopen · 25/08/2016 19:44

Yes! I pitty them. Must be shit living such a pessimistic existence.

OP posts:

mumandgran61 · 25/08/2016 19:01

Oh, and any grandmother!

mumandgran61 · 25/08/2016 19:01

Maybe don't turn to MN in a fit of rage again? You must know how quick some people are to assume the worst of any man

SapphireStrange · 25/08/2016 18:00

Good outcome! Thanks for updating, OP.

doorwideopen · 25/08/2016 17:19

He's never done anything like this before. This is by no means a regular thing and nor is he a deadbeat useless piss taking piece of shit father and husband.

He insists I stay in bed every Saturday and Sunday morning for a lie in.
He does all the after school activities with the DC.
He takes 1 DC out each Sunday night for a treat and one on one time.
He does 50% of the cooking, washing, cleaning etc.
He is insanely supportive of every single thing I do.

I could go on.

He fucked up - admittedly. I turned to MN in a fit of anger.

OP posts:

TheNaze73 · 25/08/2016 17:14

Glad it's sorted OP.

I do agree with you about some of the assumptions made on this thread. Some people clearly have too much time on their hands & uber fertile imaginations

RhiWrites · 25/08/2016 17:12

Great update and apologies for my assumptions. There are so many threads of this type it's pleasant surprise to see one with such a good outcome.

doorwideopen · 25/08/2016 17:06

Well, the dispute is all sorted. His friend rang him in work inviting him away. He jumped on the bandwagon without thinking or planning ahead. We briefly talked about it late last night where he immediately realised how much of a cock up he made. He's bailed on the time away with the lads and will be with the DC while I go back to work.

In other news, some of the opinions, blame game and assumptions on this thread are fucking disgusting.

OP posts:

blowmybarnacles · 25/08/2016 10:31

The childcare isn't an issue in itself imo, ad he knows it can be covered. But it does seem very odd to me that a family man who (for whatever reason) has had no leave during the school holidays would arrange to go away without his family over the bank holiday.

This, in spades. Guessing he's hardly seen his family all holiday and he does this. Selfish cock.

SapphireStrange · 25/08/2016 09:45

Your mum isn't helping you, shes helping your partner be shit. I'd be fucking raging if my mum bailed him out.

This is a good point actually. You can call it grandmother wanting to spend time with the grandkids (and I'm sure that's how she sees it and I know her intentions are good), but yes, she is enabling him.

Bexta147 · 25/08/2016 09:27

Something similar has happened in our house before. I had a night out planned for weeks, had reminded OH numerous times and he still went and arranged to go to the football with his mate the same day. He was most upset when he had to ring his mate the same day it had been organised to say he couldn't go.
Yes we could of got my Mam to watch them but why should she just because he hadn't been arsed to listen properly? He just assumed I would be able to get it covered.
He's never done it again since though and now always double checks I haven't got anything planned before making his own arrangements.

OpenMe · 25/08/2016 09:21

The childcare isn't an issue in itself imo, ad he knows it can be covered. But it does seem very odd to me that a family man who (for whatever reason) has had no leave during the school holidays would arrange to go away without his family over the bank holiday.

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GissASquizz · 25/08/2016 09:20

I'd kill him.

amidawish · 25/08/2016 09:17

so he knows it will be ok as your mum will have the kids.

so not really leaving you in the lurch.

not the point i know.

whersthel1ght · 25/08/2016 09:16

Sorry OP but how has he only got 2 days leave yet and why the hell have you had the kids on your own for the full 6 weeks??

Does he use all his annual leave for piss ups because from your posts he doesn't do any childcare!

Dp works shifts and I have significantly less AL than him so covering the childminders holiday and covering the dictated weeks we have my dsc. However I tell him the dates that are needed, we look at who is off/can take leave and manage it using the family calendar so that no one forgets.

Your DH is being a cock and you and your mum are allowing AND facilitating it. Stop!

You need to be clearer when you discuss these things but that doesn't mean he gets to abdicate responsibility for childcare.

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