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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if this is normal for a seven year old boy?

76 replies

Flamingo1980 · 22/08/2016 21:12

Had some friends to stay for the weekend with their kids and I am now curious about their sons behaviour. I'm not judging, or critising or being horrid before you flame me, I am just asking out of curiousity as I literally haven't known any seven year olds since I was, well, seven - and so don't know if this is what they all do. Or It may be a phase or it may be just him. Who knows. I don't.
I noticed quite quickly that he would only ever just talk obsessively and repetitively about his interests. As in, he never, ever stopped talking about guns, computer games, Boats and tanks. That was it. It didn't matter what was happening or who was saying what to him, he would just keep on talking and talking about those four topics. At no point did he show any personal interest in anyone else - didn't ask anyone questions about anything or anyone, didn't listen to anyone speaking to him or particularly show willing to interact. He wasn't badly behaved or anything, I was just a bit surprised at how unengaging he was. His voice pitch was almost falsetto and very monotoned.
I'm not going to pretend it wasn't all a bit annoying - it was - obviously, no one would enjoy that, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed this was normal for seven year old boys and so I tried (and others did too) to engage with him about other things but he would just carry on talking about guns etc like we wasn't there.
I guess I thought young boys might be a bit more interested in other humans and the world but maybe not?! You tell me!
I've just read that and it makes him look like he's on the spectrum. I don't think he is - I can't put my finger on why not, but It just seemed more that he's just a bit obsessed with his own things and just not interested in anything else anyone has to say. But maybe that's just kids for you!

OP posts:

Original poster

Flamingo1980 · 22/08/2016 21:13

*like we WEREN'T there. Not wasn't there.

OP posts:

JellyBelli · 22/08/2016 21:17

Kids have to be taught empathy. That includes social behaviour such as dressing and behaving a certain way at a wedding or funeral, even if we dont feel anything because we dont know them well. Or the rules of conversation.
I actually explained how things like that work, I find many kids go through a stage where they are interested in rules and fairness, so thats one way to engage them.
It may be no one really listens to him, or he's just a chatterbox and they tune him out intead of pointing out to him that people dont do that, at least not all the time.

lemony7 · 22/08/2016 21:19

Was he nervous?

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 22/08/2016 21:19

Sounds fairly normal to me. Kids can be quite egocentric at this age.

You do seemed to have been quite irritated by him.

WhooooAmI24601 · 22/08/2016 21:20

I think a lot of 7 year olds aren't always able to fully engage in an adult conversation. And aren't really that interested in other people generally. There will always be some exceptions but really, he doesn't sound that dreadful.

DS1 is 10 and has ASD. He's very high-functioning so can hold his own socially a lot of the time (and those who spend time with him often don't 'see' that he's on the spectrum) but in situations like that at 7 I would have had to say to him 'remember to take turns with conversation' and offer reminders on what is/isn't polite in company because, frankly, he just didn't have a clue anyone else wanted to talk, or that they weren't thrilled by his conversation. This 7 year old could easily be on the spectrum. Or he may just be very interested in those four topics. But I think you're being a little U given his age. 7 year olds are still works in progress, give him some time and keep trying to engage with him.

TheWitTank · 22/08/2016 21:21

Sounds like my son who has Aspergers. Will obsessively talk about computers and nerf guns and sat navs with little interest in anything else, including talking to people. He is an amazing kid though and hasn't a bad bone in his body

blinkowl · 22/08/2016 21:21

My 7 year old is like this.

He's not like this all the time, we can have lovely chats about things, sometimes, especially at bedtime when it's just me and him, and there's no pressure.

But he can be totally wrapped up in his own interests when in company. He interrupts and only talks about his own stuff. Lots of talk of computer games, pokemon etc.

He doesn't talk in a monotone.

However I do suspect he is on the spectrum (for several reasons) and just starting the process of trying to get him assessed. His teachers on the other hand aren't convinced so perhaps it is normal behaviour for a 7 year old after all?

MermaidTears · 22/08/2016 21:22

My cousin is exactly like that. Talks about trains. He is autistic. Not saying that this boy is but that's a very common trait....to go on and on about something others are clearly not interested in. Nothing can waiver him from it if he wants to talk about trains.

BikeRunSki · 22/08/2016 21:22

I have a seven year boy. Sounds normal. He's 8 in a couple of weeks, and has only very recently started to show much empathy, but the Star Wars/Lego/Dinosaurs/Insects/emergency vehicle obsessions are still very much present!

BertieBotts · 22/08/2016 21:25

Mine is the same. At the moment it's bloody pokemon. "Have you caught an X? Should I catch a Y? What type is this pokemon? What's your favourite pokemon? What's your favourite type? What does X evolve into? What's the strongest pokemon you've ever seen?"

etc etc etc ALL DAY.

Although today he interrupted this with an hour long whine about how socks are the worst invention ever and he hates socks and would not entertain my suggestion that he try putting them on the way that I showed him instead.

(Can you tell we've hit the mid point of summer holidays?)

MsKite · 22/08/2016 21:25

I was going to say it sounds normal based on my child of a similar age, but I now see that everyone else who said it sounds normal has a child who has asd, so I'm not sure really. Perhaps I need to think about this

goldenretriever1978 · 22/08/2016 21:27

Aspergers possibly.

Original poster

Flamingo1980 · 22/08/2016 21:27

I don't think he was nervous no. I've spent time with him in his own home before this and his behaviour was the same.
As I said, I'm asking this as I'm admitting my ignorance when it comes to young boys, not because I want to slate him. I was being factual and even confessed that it was a bit annoying but that's my issue not his.

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Lonnysera · 22/08/2016 21:28

Sounds very very like ASD.

Specialist interests
Not interested in other people's personal details
Monotone
Unusual voice pitch

Lots of markers there.

brasty · 22/08/2016 21:28

Apparently I was like that, but grew up to be empathetic.

MermaidTears · 22/08/2016 21:29

mskite of course not always the case. last do you remember last summer a programme called something like born naughty where parents brought children on the show to see if professional could work out if they were naughty or had additional problems/needs. A boy on there talked about he's train type toys obsessively. The professional tried to make eye contact, change the subject, ask questions etc and the boy did not waiver.
He maintained a monotone voice and banged on and on and on. Turned out he was also on the spectrum.
It is a dry common trait.

Lonnysera · 22/08/2016 21:29

BertieBotts I'm going to write a book called "my sock and shoe hell."

It's a horror.

Original poster

Flamingo1980 · 22/08/2016 21:31

I'm also asking as I'm becoming very close friends with his mum and so I will be spending more time with him in the future and I think I would like more of an understanding of him/seven year old boys so I have more of an idea of what's going on and how best to handle it.

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TheDowagerCuntess · 22/08/2016 21:33

I have a very socially at ease, sensitive, empathetic 7YO, and he is exactly like this at the moment!

He's obsessed with minecraft and Pokemon right now, and will bend anyone in talking distance's ear off about them. The poor hairdresser, the other week! 😂

He wasn't always like this - at all - but right now, yes.

Original poster

Flamingo1980 · 22/08/2016 21:33

That was a really long sentence sorry. My grammar is shocking tonight.

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YorkieDorkie · 22/08/2016 21:34

It definitely sounds a little like Aspergers but I understand that if you type a days worth of activity into an OP it can sound a bit manic! He's probably just an overexcited chatterbox and he does sound like a normal 7yo to me

Perhaps his family just let him rabbit on to everyone about his hobbies? Some kids are allowed to ramble and others are told to shush. I'm just guessing he's not one of the shushers .

Original poster

Flamingo1980 · 22/08/2016 21:42

Well this is the thing, his mother openly admits to me that she 'indulged him' and is worried she has made him into a little prince or something. Even she's exasperated by it.
He did remind me a bit of one of those middle aged men (boorish uncle at a wedding types) that just talk at you about something they are interested in and know all about - regardless as to whether you have shown a flicker of interest in that topic or not. I found myself wondering if he would turn into one of them..

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bialystockandbloom · 22/08/2016 21:44

Doesn't sound completely typical to me, but there is a huge spectrum of 'normal' (as there is with the autism spectrum). If you did find him annoying but are good friends with his mum, as you say, maybe it would be better for you to see her without the kids around. Do you have children?

Original poster

Flamingo1980 · 22/08/2016 21:45

Sorry - I should specify - 'indulged him' in that when he was younger she would let him talk and talk no matter what and acted fascinated in whatever he had to say. Didn't encourage empathy or that sometimes there's a time and a place for quiet!

OP posts:

Original poster

Flamingo1980 · 22/08/2016 21:50

I do see his mum on her own a lot yes. But I don't want to just cut him out of my life because I don't know anything about seven year olds and it could be this is normal and therefore I should just suck it up!!
I admitted it was annoying because - well it's undeniably annoying and anyone would be annoyed by that constant high pitched noise and it's pointless to deny it like I'm some kind of Saint.

OP posts:

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