Online grocery shopping substitutions

[TheObserverOne]

So I've just had my weekly shop delivered. I don't usually order online, but I'm working long shifts this week so did it for ease and there were a couple of substitutions.
A lasagne ready meal was substituted for Shepherds pie (I can just about live with that), but my women's disposable razors were replaced with MENS SHAVING FOAM
It's made me wonder; what's the most outrageous substitution you've received from your Russian roulette of groceries??

A kid's toothbrush for kids' toothpaste. Handy.

A tin opener for a tin of sodding soup.... without a ring pull on it

Ordered a nice, stainless steel, sauté pan with lid that was in a sale. Replaced it with a non-stick frying pan. Nothing 'exciting ', but I was disappointed. Still waiting for my pan .

size 4 nappies instead of newborn, helpful, much....

I've raised this my dad, out of interest, after aggressively clicking the 'no substitutions' button... He delivers online shopping for a major supermarket. By all accounts, the picker doesn't know that what they're picking is a substitution, it's all done by the computer in advance. They just grab what they're told on the day. So I guess the algorithm searches for something similar (shaving, tin, nappies, for example) and adds it to the list.

For some reason I had always envisaged the picker standing there thinking "Hmmm, I wonder what's the best substitute for thrush cream? I know... A bottle of whiskey to help them forget!"

I once got nothing in place of the toilet rolls I'd ordered. Not sure why they didn't have any suitable substitutions for cushelle!

Cucumber facial wash instead of cucumber.

Also have had substitutions where I (and the delivery guy) couldnt work out the difference between the thing I ordered and the thing that was substituted.

On the upside I once got a 75cl bottle of gin substituted with a 1.5 litre bottle (same brand, paid the price of the one I ordered).

My delivery guy was really apologetic today when he said "I'm afraid you've got some substitutions" so I was envisioning ridiculous things and hoping a thread came up on here tonight!

Unfortunately they were 2x12 stock cubes instead of 1x24 and a different brand of prosecco that was £1 cheaper per bottle.

Apparently when they pick from the 'dark stores' the picker has no visibility over your shopping and the little device says what to sub with. So they can't see for example that you've ordered roast dinner ingredients and if there aren't any fresh pots then to sub with frozen roasties for example.

I love reading these threads..

There was once a poster who ordered herself some tampons and got party poppers instead. That was an interesting switch

I got size 3 nappies instead of size 4 nappies before. At least if they give you bigger nappies the baby will grow into them at some point.

There's also been several occasions where I've ordered something from the value / standard range and been substituted the same type of item from the premium range though (e.g. premium lasagne ready meal instead of value lasagne ready meal) and just been charged for what I ordered.

We had a two lire bottle of Coke instead of nine pack toilet rolls.

A bag of unwaxed lemon instead of lemon sented kitchen cleaner

Asked for strawberries - got strawberry conditioner! Yup that will taste nice with cream!

A bag of unwaxed lemon instead of lemon sented kitchen cleaner

Are lemons usually waxed then?

Instead of 1x6 pints of milk, I got 6x1 pint of milk. (Tesco)

I had a 23rd Dec delivery and was told that turkey was unavailable. (Asda)

Instead of bath salts I got Maldon sea salt flakes. (Sainsburys)

Instead of size 4 nappies, I got size 1. (Tesco)

I ordered a hand trowel (to pick up dog turd) and it was subbed for a hand TOWEL.

Obviously I didn't use it in the way I'd intended to use the trowel....

Hair dye in a completely different colour to what I 'd ordered. Sorry Tesco but I'm not going to change my hair colour on your say so.

I once ordered a paddling pool and it was substituted for a hose Had a very disappointed DS that day

I usually just get a more expensive version of what I ordered. If it's something that can't be substituted (like baby food/nappies) I say no subs and just pick it up as I pass the store

Not exactly a substitution but I got a pack of condoms delivered, still in the security box.

I regularly do home shopping, and grind my teeth at the regular stupid substitute items that I get.......
Ordered - Colgate total advanced toothpaste, substitute Colgate smiles toothpaste for 0-3 year olds
Ordered-cod fillets. Substitute - 40 fish fingers. Wouldn't mind, but there was already 40 fish fingers in the delivery. Who on earth wants 80 fish fingers in one go!?
Ordered-grapes. Substitute - mango (?)
Ordered-fish fingers. Substitute - sausages (really?)
Ordered - Stilton substitute - cheese strings. Yep, great, lovely, a chicken, bacon and cheese string combo for dinner.
Ordered - Breakfast bars (for people on the go, ie the train). Substitute - box of cornflakes (not really a good sub for people on the go)
Ordered - BIG whole chicken for a roast Sub-8 weeny chicken thighs.
Ordered - coconut yoghurt sub - coconut

I also get really confused when they tell me I have a sub, but it is exactly what I ordered, so I can't quite get my head round how/why that happens

Maybe someone who is a home shopping picker will come along and explain the logic. Or flame us for moaning.😀

Are lemons usually waxed then?
Yup

Nut free, free from cookies were subbed with macadamia and choc cookies!!!

Yeah imnotjoemynameisharryu can get unwaxed and waxed lemons