Online grocery shopping substitutions

[TheObserverOne]

So I've just had my weekly shop delivered. I don't usually order online, but I'm working long shifts this week so did it for ease and there were a couple of substitutions.
A lasagne ready meal was substituted for Shepherds pie (I can just about live with that), but my women's disposable razors were replaced with MENS SHAVING FOAM
It's made me wonder; what's the most outrageous substitution you've received from your Russian roulette of groceries??

Wasn't there a poster who ordered raspberry jelly and got k y jelly instead?

DH still mourns the day that we had Skips substituted for Frazzles. I'm not entirely sure that he's over it.

Robinsons lemon barley ordered, Cif lemon floor cleaner delivered.

maple
A picker did once come on one of these threads and said that at ther supermarket, the handheld machine only gives the first few words of the description of the item that needs substituting

So it will say 'item out of stock: 400g frozen Cod' and they have to guess if it is fillets or fingers or catfood or 'bunched spring' and they have to work out if it's spring onions or Spring bouquet of flowers

The machine doesn't tell them what the substitution should be, only the item which is out of stock

I think it's different between supermarkets though because all my Ocado subs are very sensible, which makes me feel very left out on these threads

Not me but heard on Woman's Hour, packet of panty liners substituted by 100 wooden skewers.

Yeah imnotjoemynameisharry u can get unwaxed and waxed lemons

Ah ok I had no idea. Sorry.

2 bags of 4 frozen mini sweetcorn with butter substituted for 1 bag of 8 frozen mini sweetcorn.

Seems reasonable enough except that I'd clicked don't substitute and they did it anyway... AND we have a dairy allergy in the house so I'd done an entire dairy free shop - soya ice cream, vegan cheese, almond milk free from custard etc - quite a lot of clues there. And because they weren't supposed to substitute it wasn't highlighted so I wasn't given the option to refuse it.

I'd ordered a cauliflower to make cauliflower cheese.
I got a lettuce. Not too awful by substitution standards, but I was not going to try making lettuce cheese.

When I ordered 6x12 cans of dog food, I got six individual cans. Not enough to even see us through a week, let alone the month I'd bought for.

We once had a jar of pesto (ordered for a planned pasta salad) substituted with half a dozen eggs. I wondered if someone Italian doing the picking thought we could knock up a carbonara using the pasta and bacon in the order instead.

This will put me if anyone I know sees it but I once ordered loads of ice cubes for a party and the store didn't have enough bags so substituted several with bags of frozen chips!! Even the driver laughed when I declined to put them in my drinks!

There was a poster on here who ordered a bottle of wine and got a garden gnome. That's my favourite one ever.

I ordered Persil capsules and got bleach as a substitute. I would have expected to get another brand as a sub.

I didn't put the bleach in the washing machine.

My last couple of orders have had either substitutes which are not listed as substitutes or items missing all together which was making me begin to doubt my own sanity. I brought it up with the Click and Collect lady who insisted this could not happen even when I showed her my email confirmation. She then suggested that I go to the customer service desk to speak to them, which we defy the point of paying them so I don't have to go into the bloody shop. I have given up on it now.

Sainsburys sent me 6 creme eggs instead of hens eggs ! I was so busy laughing I just kept them lol

Vegan linda mccartney pie substituted with a meat and potato pie 😡

I remember reading once someone ordered David Beckham aftershave and got a crate of Becks instead

Quorn peppered stake substituted with a Ginsters steak and ale pie

Does this really still happen? I shop every week online, either Tesco, Sainsburys or Morrisons, and rarely get any subs and when I do they are pretty sensible.
Maybe I'm missing all the fun.

Rum & raisin ice-cream substituted with 4 frozen chicken kiev.

cheese & cracker snack pot substituted with granola.

When i was i was pregnant i had serious custard cravings, i ordered a custard slice and could wait for it to arrive. When the shopping came they had substituted it for an iced finger, i cried 😂

Rump steak in place of golden graham's.
It was a good day

I have so many (and these are the reasons I no longer shop online)
I ordered a quorn roast, my mums a vegetarian and was coming over for a sunday roast. A chicken was delivered...
Bottle of thin bleach instead of burger buns O.o
Tampons instead of a lynx shower gel (I refused those, I don't even use tampons lol. Dh would've been less than impressed to get that for Xmas!)
Toilet discs substituted with actual duck O.O
ordered frozen mixed veg and got potatoes instead..
strange algorithm...

Ocado generally don't substitute in my experience of 10 years online shopping. However it was almost 3 years of sending the poor delivery man away with a very bemused expression before I realised a substitution of Bollinger or Moët champagne for waitrose own brand was at their expense not mine....first work problem I realise

*world