To start a FOURTH thread that no-one responds to.

[VanillaSugar]

All welcome to post nothing.
All welcome to muse about nothing.
We know nothing.
We heart Jon Snow.
And Aidan Turner.
And Idris Elba.
And The Game... ohfck.

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You go boy! It'll be ok. Just think how good you will feel afterwards.

Morning all. I'm late to the party I know. Just wanted to chip in and express my delight at the return of Poldark - YUM!

Loving this thread. I feel like I've found my people.

MissElizaBennett We are flattered by your presence. Indeed,you must verily take a turn around the first thread where you will positively be charmed by the Jane Austen references.

and naked pictures of AT

Why thank you Vanilla, I will do just that :)

Portia Poldark says
Roll over darljng

and she also did a typo 🙆

Portia. I know it's a bit cheeky (bad pun), but seeing as you have a memory foam mattress, do you think you could do me a plaster cast of Mr Castis' nether regions. I would be very grateful,

Kind regards,

Jess

I don't drink coffee :(

I'VE VIEWED THE WORST FLAT EVER

It smelled :( there was no living room :( it was dingy :( it was dirty :(

Jess You have just given me an idea for a new business. Plastercast Arse and Penis Ltd
I shall go on Aidens Dragons Den !

average I once viewed a flat described as 'semi-furnished'. The Fred-West-lookey-likey led me up about ten flights of stairs, all the time breathing heavily through his nose. The 'furniture' consisted of a Thomas the Tank Engine beanbag in the 'living' room (parenthesis because it had the aura of a recent death) and a really stained mattress on the floor in the bedroom. Because I'm incredibly polite, I told him I had a couple of other places to see and would ring him back. I didn't. I took a shower instead. Take a shower.

portia. Do it. I am your first customer.

Jess Thankyou for that, I needed to laugh

I was with staff though so I had to maintain my composure. The worst bit was the tenant was still in the property!

I've lived in some truly awful flats. My best I found in the newspaper. It was wonderful. The only place I've lived alone and it was perfect. Felt like someone was looking out for me when i found it in the classifieds. I hope similar happens for you.

average tenant wasn't a Fred West lookey-likey by any chance? Hate viewing flats. You have to keep a ridiculous faux-smile on your face and nod politely, but they know what you're thinking and you know they know! Awful.

portia. If business takes off (and I imagine it will), you could move into gold-plating! For the first time in my life, I really wish I had a mantelpiece.

MissElizaBennettsBookmark

Morning all. I'm late to the party I know

The party never ends, here Miss Eliza

Great to meet you!

Jess

Your posts are hilarious

AGL

I am so sorry about that flat.

Have you any other prospects on the horizon? Can your worker help you see a bunch in one day, maybe? It will be quicker that way and you won't get your hopes up about one particular property.

What a shame though - it looked really nice from the outside and I had high hopes for it