Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP drunk home at 1.30am

81 replies

CrankyFrankyMum · 16/07/2016 01:38

Not awful as a one off but we have a wedding tomorrow (his friends).
He went out for a drink after work which left me with two young children and a dog to walk in the rain. Him going out also meant I had to cancel my work end of term get together. I have spent the evening getting dog stuff ready to go to the kennels tomorrow (due to wedding) and getting kids washed and packed to go to grandparents tomorrow (due to wedding). He knows that we have an early start tomorrow and he has to drive the dog to the kennels whilst I take DC to grandparents.

He has come home just now stinking drunk and will be good for nothing in the morning. Defiantly not legally safe to drive .
AIBU to expect him to stop after a couple knowing our plans tomorrow? He is 35 years old!

OP posts:
dollylucy · 16/07/2016 01:39

Will he be sorry? Really sorry

Original poster
CrankyFrankyMum · 16/07/2016 01:39

BTW he got taxi home - but won't be legally safe to drive later in morning.

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 16/07/2016 01:53

You don't drive?

BeJayKayven · 16/07/2016 02:08

Is he always so selfish

I would be seething at him

Rumpelstiltskin143 · 16/07/2016 02:08

She said she drove, but she has to take kids to Grandparents, while asswipe takes the dog to the kennels.

EBearhug · 16/07/2016 02:09

I read it that there are two journeys planned at the same time tomorrow - one to kennels, t'other to grandparents to leave children there. If there's only one capable driver, the day needs to start earlier to fit both trips in (which may not be possible because of opening times or whatever,) and /or everything is massively rushed and OP won't have time to get dressed up properly in a calm way as an enjoyable start to the day. And while OP rushes round doing all the adminy things, her DH will be hungover, and therefore probably grumpy.

I'd be pissed off, too, while recognising it's not the end of the world. Hope it all turns out okay in the end, and you have a great time despite this start.

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/07/2016 02:11

I would be tempted to take kids to grandparents and then go for a spa day since they are his friends...

YANBU to think he should know better given not only tomorrow's plans but also your arrangements for this evening.

If this sort of selfishness is at all common I would be thinking about how to prepare for divorce.

OlennasWimple · 16/07/2016 02:25

Not sure how a spa day is helpful here Confused

EttaJ · 16/07/2016 02:30

YANBU and I simply wouldn't tolerate it. I'd let him go alone. Have a day to yourself doing whatever you like. Sounds like you deserve to.

AcrossthePond55 · 16/07/2016 02:34

Guess it depends on how badly you want to go to this wedding. If you want to go and it's worth it to you then I guess you just suck it up and take the kids to the GPs earlier then doggy to kennel (or vice versa) whilst your hungover DH sorts himself out.

But if you don't care to go, you just sit on your happy ass in the morning until DH drags himself out of bed and ask him how he expects to get all the running around accomplished.

And make it clear you'll make no excuses nor tell any lies for him if the two of you don't make it to the wedding.

Rockelburger · 16/07/2016 02:43

It is incredibly selfish. Though if he's been drinking for that many hours I suspect his hangover will be punishment enough Wink

CiaoVerona · 16/07/2016 02:44

Take the pooch to the wedding and leave dh at the kennel!!

puglife15 · 16/07/2016 02:52

Yanbu. Did he discuss this with you when he said he wanted to go for a drink?

I just can't imagine being so selfish, and so presumptive.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 16/07/2016 03:04

Not sure how a spa day is helpful here

Not sure how a spa day is ever helpful.

So far children or dog presumably husband could take whichever of them is nearest in a taxi?

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/07/2016 03:27

Spa day was just a place holder for going off and doing whatever the OP enjoys without thinking about the obligations she feels towards her DP, since he seems oblivious to his own responsibilities. For the benefit of the pedants, please be assured I am not advocating relaxing at a spa for people who don't find it enjoyable.

MollyTwo · 16/07/2016 03:42

Lol at the the spa day when op has commitments tomorrow!

Yanbu, he was selfish to carry on drinking knowing the family has plans and he had responsibilities. Plan B, he takes a taxi with the kids to Gps and you drop off the dogs?

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/07/2016 03:49

Her commitment is to go to his friend's wedding though isn't it? I'm suggesting she skip it and think of herself instead.

Blacksheep78 · 16/07/2016 04:03

My ex did the same thing the night before our DD was christened! I left him on the kitchen floor where he passed out at 3:30am (in the recovery position - not totally irresponsible), & got my neighbor to pop in to check him occasionally. No, I didn't leave him with a pillow, or a blanket.

When his DM was telling all the guests how sick poor, poor DH was, I soon let everybody know why he was so ill. Grin

AND his DB (always much sibling rivalry between them as DBIL was the golden child) stood up with me while the minister did his thing. My family made sure to take LOADS of pics.

LindyHemming · 16/07/2016 04:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissElizaBennettsBookmark · 16/07/2016 05:33

Take the pooch to the wedding and leave dh at the kennel!!

This!! Grin

SmallBee · 16/07/2016 05:39

I'd stick to your plan of dropping the kids off, getting ready for the wedding and go. Carry on with your side of the plan regardless and tell him he can meet you there once he has sobered up enough to drop off your dog.

Or as pp suggested make him take the dog in a taxi.

Glastokitty · 16/07/2016 05:42

Ah, the legendary man spa day! Grin

Glastokitty · 16/07/2016 05:43

Mn not man ffs!

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/07/2016 05:58

MN has a spa Shock?! God I bet it's brilliant, jugs of gin on the side instead of cucumber water.

NotYoda · 16/07/2016 06:16

DH used to pull this kind of stunt now and again.
I wish I'd been more forceful the first time.