To want to give ds's PE teacher

[meowli]

a piece of my mind? Ds came home with a lovely report (yr 7), apart from PE, where he got a C - fine, and this comment - not fine imo.

"Ds is a pleasant student." "He is well motivated, keen to learn but lacking in confidence. He is not blessed with a huge amount of physical prowess (my bold), but he always gives his best effort. A productive year in which he has established a good platform. Target: To keep working hard, and with greater belief in your capabilities"

After reading the report, I knew ds would be upset, as he loves sport, and would love to do well, be picked for teams at school, events on sports day etc. but it never happens. He plays for a fairly successful junior football team outside school, and is regularly picked for the team, so is not by any means hopeless, but will realistically never get anywhere near school 'A' teams (or any teams) I don't suppose.

Of course, I didn't voice any of this to ds, just said well done for such a great report, at which point he grimaced and said had I read the PE comment, which said he didn't have any physical prowess.

I feel like emailing the teacher to say that if he wants to encourage ds's confidence and a greater belief in his capabilities, telling him that he is not blessed with a huge amount of physical prowess is not the best way of going about it.

AIBU and WWYD?

bump

YABU. Just because he tries hard doesn't mean he's any good.
Do you want the teacher to lie?

I think it's a harsh thing to say, no matter how true it may be. A teacher wouldn't, I hope, tell someone that they weren't blessed with a huge amount of mental prowess so I don't see why it should be OK to say that about sport.

I think (s)he's trying to emphasise the effort put in - well done your DS! We can't all be gifted in all domains - I was always great academically and OK in PE because I tried to be a team player even though I knew I was never going to shoot netball goals as well as the six foot girl in the team who wasn't as good at maths... It's just how life works

I'm sorry but I think YABU too.

Unless you think he has been blessed with a huge amount of physical prowess and the teacher can't see it?

It's a statement, not an insult.

Physical prowess

Exceptional valor, bravery, or ability, especially in combat or battle. 2. exceptional or superior ability, skill, or strength: his prowess as a public speaker.

Perhaps teachers shouldn't lie on a report exactly, but to say that a child is lacking in confidence and then write that immediately afterwards, well that's hardly going to improve the poor boy's confidence is it? Bit crass and totally lacking in empathy IMO.

OP - yes, perhaps you should send that email.

I have already said ds is not school 'A' team material. Just missing out that one sentence wouldn't have materially altered the sense of the comment, and might have been more likely to encourage ds to strive to meet the teacher's stated target. It seems counter -productive to me.

Fucking teacher. How dare he tell the truth.

And I agree with a PP that the teacher is saying that despite this, he is still putting in a huge amount of effort, which should be commended.

My DS2 was shit at most sports. He knew it, the teacher knew it and his peers knew it.

Yet he was absolutely chuffed when the PE teacher said something along the lines of "X will never be on of life's great sportsmen, but he's a true gentleman on the pitch, always turns up with his kit, and always gives 100%".

I don't think anyone could have given a more accurate report tbh.

YABU there is nothing wrong with that comment or target.

one of life's great sportsmen

Yanbu and there is lots of scientific evidence to support that. Off to bed but will try to remember to give you links tomorrow.

he is not blessed with a huge amount of physical prowess... Keep working hard

To me that says, it doesn't come naturally and he will have to work hard at it.

I really think you're BU. The teacher has been factual but made it clear he's tried his very best and made progress as a result.

Thanks for all the comment btw. I absolutely don't view ds, or any of my ds with rose tinted specs. I know (and so does he) that he's unlikely to be hugely successful (in terms of winning stuff) in Pe/games, but I do actually think it is a bit of a putdown, Worra, to state it in the terms the teacher chose to use.

YABU

The teacher has not mentioned "A" teams you do

This is what you should see in that report

he always gives his best effort. A productive year in which he has established a good platform. Target: To keep working hard, and with greater belief in your capabilities"

Basically the report should have excluded what you presented in bold. It's not helpful to you or anyone xx

But he has less confidence now, and less belief in his capabilities, having been told he lacks physical prowess! He views that comment as a knockback, not in any way encouraging.

Being told you aren't naturally good at something is just part of growing up. It will make him a stronger person.

What are you talking about, Kittens?

Does he understand what lacking physical prowess actually means?

I totally agree with Kittens post at 00:41:56.

Perhaps you should reinforce that and explain it to him that way?

Oh god I'm so so sorry!