To want to give ds's PE teacher

[meowli]

a piece of my mind? Ds came home with a lovely report (yr 7), apart from PE, where he got a C - fine, and this comment - not fine imo.

"Ds is a pleasant student." "He is well motivated, keen to learn but lacking in confidence. He is not blessed with a huge amount of physical prowess (my bold), but he always gives his best effort. A productive year in which he has established a good platform. Target: To keep working hard, and with greater belief in your capabilities"

After reading the report, I knew ds would be upset, as he loves sport, and would love to do well, be picked for teams at school, events on sports day etc. but it never happens. He plays for a fairly successful junior football team outside school, and is regularly picked for the team, so is not by any means hopeless, but will realistically never get anywhere near school 'A' teams (or any teams) I don't suppose.

Of course, I didn't voice any of this to ds, just said well done for such a great report, at which point he grimaced and said had I read the PE comment, which said he didn't have any physical prowess.

I feel like emailing the teacher to say that if he wants to encourage ds's confidence and a greater belief in his capabilities, telling him that he is not blessed with a huge amount of physical prowess is not the best way of going about it.

AIBU and WWYD?

Does he go to a private school that places a huge emphasis on being good at sport?

If so, that is your problem. Not the report but the school.

i think you should email as you suggest, and speak to your dd about how he can improve his physical prowess, using different words.
the main thing is, he tries hard
and he will get better

Ouch!

It's the sort of phrasing that clangs around in your head for years

He could/should have phrased it more tactfully. Teachers generally have mastered the great art of implying what they think without actually saying it.

Maybe not PE teachers, though (poor PE teachers)

I would not bother speaking to the PE teacher.

One of my sons is also not blessed with a great deal of physical prowess, although he loves sailing and is a pretty decent long-distance runner.

His hand-eye/ foot eye-coordination is shocking. He's in the bottom set for PE and is desperate to get out of it because the rest of the class are so bald-behaved. I think the teacher keeps him there for a bit of moral support

badly-behaved

The PE teacher doesn't believe in your son's ability in her lessons and it is showing both in the report and in your son's confidence.

Just remember team sports the only sports just the mostly done sports at school

My DD excelled at Cycling, swimming and running, but the PE teacher had no idea really other thsn DD always came first in the 400 m at sports day. It wasn't till they did an intercooler swimming gala and older girls picked DD to go to the gala that they new she could swim well.

I agree swith Notyoda. This is something that could rattle around in his head for years. But he has seen it now. Asking the teacher to change it won't take that back. I don't think it's right to make such a pronouncement over a child and could lock him into thinking that that is the story about him now. Its a put down and has no place on a report. Everything else was fine but that highlighted phrase is totally unnecessary. Because a teacher is in a position of authority the words they say carry a lot of weight and can become part of a child's thinking about themselves.

I agree ivy

Sport is so narrowly defined (at school, and more widely - and in boys, it often means just booldy football) that it's hard to convince my DS that he actually does like some sports and is also good at it

There was no need for the PE teacher to make that comment. What does it even mean? It's not constructive, it is guaranteed to knock confidence. It wouldn't work in any other subject, or another context. What is the aim of him writing this? Bob tries his best or Bob has improved at xyz would have done. No one was asking him to comment on the child's innate 'physical prowess' - whatever the fuck that is. Rather - his progress. That comment, as a previous poster said, is guaranteed to clang around in child's head for years. There's bound to be a way you can reframe it for him - maybe someone can suggest how? As for the teacher, I would raise it, would have to carefully consider how though.

Agree totally with June. It's a putdown. I think it does need to be raised somehow so that the teacher understands this for other children/future reports - but again not sure best approach.

YANBU OP. It is no more acceptable to write what he wrote than it would be to say 'although x is not particularly clever,...' etc. He should not have written that and it is not intended to be helpful to your son.

I was going to say what mousethew said. There are ways of saying things, and being constructive.

I don't hunky yabu it does sound like the teacher is a bit of an arse.
In subjective subjects like pe what would it really matter if they gave them a b but to say it was for effort and giving his all and motivating others.
we all can't be the next Olympian!

I once had A/a*s in all my other subjects and my Pe and form teacher gave me an e along with a displays a poor attitude in class which is reflected in her other subjects too / my parents were furious meeting with teacher etc who stood her ground and wanted to have me put on pupil progress - extra classes and counselling for my poor attitude (it didn't happen!)

Perfectly reasonable comment, well expressed.

Could have been phrased much much better. Eg 'although PE may not be his strongest subject'. Terminology matters, and it is not being over sensitive to resent the wording by the teacher here.

To me,that report is positive and honest. You know your DS lacks physical prowess, your DS knows he lacks physical prowess and the teacher is pleased with the amount of effort your DS puts in despite the limitations of his natural ability.

Also, Why the at your DSs being a pleasant student?

I think it sounds like the teacher is a total arse and that comment is completely unnecessary, particularly when he goes on to say that your DS needs to work on his confidence.

My DS has dyspraxia and is (unsurprisingly) shit at sport. His PE teacher wrote: 'I do not believe PE to be littleLynda's favourite subject but he has shown improvement in ...'

which is basically saying that he's shit at PE but in a nice way.

Just because something is factually true doesn't mean it belongs in a school report.

It is no more acceptable to write what he wrote than it would be to say 'although x is not particularly clever,...'

It's not the same. It is more akin to "despite not having a natural ability for maths"

had I read the PE comment, which said he didn't have any physical prowess.

I hope you pointed out to him that that was not what it said at all.

I would be upset about that, too. Totally unnecessary and unhelpful. I would possibly send a lighthearted e-mail making a point that your ds's confidence is not improving after reading that quote.

Hmm, I'm going to go against the rain and say I agree with you op. It just seems to me that there wasn't any need to put in that extra statement. Usually when teachers go on about lots of effort we can read between the lines!

It would have been more encouraging for her to put something like 'with continued effort his abilities will continue to grow', or 'he'll continue to improve', obviously worded better than that

If you decide to address this, don't email. IMO, difficult conversations should not be done via email

Again the grain

Oh ffs I give up!

YABU to waste your energy on a pe teacher.