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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you believe in fate?

82 replies

ktalgfdk · 08/07/2016 14:47

Just that really.

OP posts:
malmi · 08/07/2016 14:51

YANBU

Birdsgottafly · 08/07/2016 14:53

Yes, I've had many a morning where everything I did went wrong, so I've been running late and I've got off the bus, to find someone that I haven't seen in years, but lost touch with, standing there.

Then it turns out that they wasn't supposed to be there, either.

ssd · 08/07/2016 14:54

sort of, but I dont believe in karma

DamsonGinIsMyThing · 08/07/2016 14:56

Nope.

Original poster
ktalgfdk · 08/07/2016 14:57

Yeah I don't believe in karma either haha Grin

I do think I believe in fate though!

OP posts:
milkyface · 08/07/2016 14:58

Definitely.

Original poster
ktalgfdk · 08/07/2016 15:01

Can I ask why?

I'm in a mushy mood and any nice stories will help to restore my faith in humanity Smile

OP posts:
maggiethemagpie · 08/07/2016 15:24

Define fate

milkyface · 08/07/2016 16:03

I think just because if you didn't do certain things, you wouldn't have met someone or done something. It's like there's a path but you don't know it at the time.

Like, I wouldn't have met my dp if I had got the first job rather than the second. I would have been made redundant if we hadn't moved exactly when we did (had no idea company I was working for was going under and nor did anyone else I just seemingly went at the right time) I wouldn't have got the great job I've got etc etc...

You could put it all down to coincidence or me just being soppy but I do like to believe (possibly for my own comfort?) that fate does play a part.

I'm sure a lot of people will think it's a load of old rubbish though.

I'm undecided about karma.

downright · 08/07/2016 16:18

No. Fate means predestiny.

I believe everything is random.

Hushabyelullaby · 08/07/2016 16:22

I believe in fate to a certain degree (i.e. something is destined to happen), but I also believe in free will, so how we behave will determine whether that incident will happen, we may choose another path. I don't believe that no matter which path you take XYZ will ALWAYS happen.

BeautyQueenFromMars · 08/07/2016 16:24

I don't know. I don't think so, but I can't quite bring myself to 4eat no.

MargotFenring · 08/07/2016 16:24

I don't believe in fate, although I saw something once that left me boggled, that showed life could be put in a mathematical pattern, and we and our actions and outcomes are all interlinked by numbers Confused

Karma is bollocks.

Farmmummy · 08/07/2016 16:25

I do I went through hell then met my controlling ex at a point where I just felt I couldn't go on fighting so it was easier to let someone else do it but although it was an awful relationship when I woke up and got "me" back without it I would never have been the person I am now or ever met my now DH and had my family

BeautyQueenFromMars · 08/07/2016 16:26

Say no, not 4eat no. Sorry.

WorraLiberty · 08/07/2016 16:30

No, just random happenings that sometimes turn out for the best.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 08/07/2016 16:34

No. Fate would suggest that there is someone somewhere (god) thinking about the minutiae of billions of people's lives and tweaking things to make another thing happen. This tweaking would have had to have started at the very moment of the creation of the universe to make sure everything is in place at the perfect time. It really doesn't sound very plausible.
I am an atheist so not given to fate, karma etc.

peachpudding · 08/07/2016 16:43

about as useful as homeopathy.

mushroomsontoast · 08/07/2016 16:47

No way. Fate suggests everything is predetermined and where's the fun in that?!

mushroomsontoast · 08/07/2016 16:50

I do kind of believe in karma though, just in the sense that, if you are the kind of person who does good things for people then good things will happen to you. Because you will just attract that sort of person in your life.

ghostyslovesheep · 08/07/2016 17:01

nope

user1456925105 · 08/07/2016 17:07

Yep.

I met my stbdh when we were kids(10ish). We were great childhood friends and went to secondary school together but once we both finished we moved in different directions with our lives carears and where we lived etc. We lost contact for over 15 years.
We both had a thing for each other all through secondary but neither of us ever acted on it.

Roll on 15 years later and a friend of mine got me to sign up to Plenty Of Fish to check out some guys profile. (It didn't work out for them). A couple of hours after i had created my profile I got a notification of a pm.
It was from my childhood/teenage crush/the one that got away (whatever you want to call him). That was 3 years ago and we are getting married in a week.

So yep I def believe in faith. As the saying goes "what is meant for you won't pass you by."

salemtheteenagecat · 08/07/2016 17:20

I had been single for a year and had come out of a serious relationship so I was enjoying being free and single until I realised I was ready to find someone. Randomly on a night out met my dp who I found out was a good friend of mine boyfriends best friend. And that we had been on many a night out together but never spoke to one another nor can we remember each other but both were definitely there. I believe it was because we weren't ready and when the time was right that was when we met. Now expecting 1st child together.

Soppy post that was Blush

HelpfulChap · 08/07/2016 17:25

There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.

In some nations that believe in fate you see people driving (for example) like maniacs because 'if it is my day to die I will die however I drive'.

JennyOnAPlate · 08/07/2016 17:34

Yes I think I do. Although believing in fate is very much like believing in God, isn't it? And I don't believe in God. ConfusedConfused