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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

too not mention DD anymore?

67 replies

Pandoraalora · 01/07/2016 08:05

I have a job interview next week that I have many years experience in, however this is interview 6 5 that I've not been successful for.I'm beginning to wonder if it's because I've always mentioned my DD who is under 2 ( I am relatively young so would not assume I'm a mum ) and then they start to question my flexibility and childcare etc, so AIBU to try my best to avoid mentioning I have a DD ? I know I have no legal obligation to do so, however if I was successful when would I mention it?
This is a full time role after initially going back to my current job part time, so how would I get around that part?

OP posts:
LovebitofMN · 01/07/2016 08:07

I wouldn't mention her

ElspethFlashman · 01/07/2016 08:07

Wait, why do you mention your child if she will not influence your ability to do a full time role in any way? What's the relevance in bringing her up?

mouldycheesefan · 01/07/2016 08:11

I have interviewed thousands of people and am struggling to recall a time when a candidate mentioned their children in an interview. Why are you doing that? It's not relevant. I think this could be why you are not getting job offers, bringing up irrelevant issues in the interview. Why do you need to tell your employer you have a child?
Are you saying that you are applying for a full time job but only want to work part time? In which case you are better to contact the emp,other vibe fore applying and ask whether they would consider a part time applicant. Other options are to negotiate a reduction in hours if you are offered the job ( not always a popular option with emp,overs) or start the job full time and then put in a flexible working request when you have been thee the appropriate time, but they may decline it.
Good luck with your job search but stick to relevant information don't go off on a tangent in interviews.
NB they shouldn't be asking you about childcare but from your op it may be that you brought it up and they followe up fo clarification.

BikeRunSki · 01/07/2016 08:13

If your child is irrelevant to the job, then she's irrelevant to the interview.

furryleopard · 01/07/2016 08:14

I can't see why you'd mention her? I've never mentioned my DD at an interview. So for example I need to leave early on a Friday at 3.30 to pick mine up from nursery and on a Friday I just can't be flexible because of that but I'd just wait til they offered the job before mentioning stuff like that. That's the fine print, if they want me these are MY terms type thing.

Good luck at your interview!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 01/07/2016 08:16

I think OP means that she currently works part time after having her daughter but now she wants to return to full time work. So I guess she's being asked about why she used to work part time? Although that's an odd question!

I would avoid mentioning your DD too. It does seem irrelevant and it's not worth the risk of the company then employing a safer bet.

pitterpatterrain · 01/07/2016 08:17

You ask when would you mention your DD if not at interview: Why would you need to mention you have DC formally at any point?

If you can make the hours etc of the job then it doesn't seem relevant to talk about

CombineBananaFister · 01/07/2016 08:17

if you can fulfil the hours of the job and have adequate childcare then she doesn't need to be mentioned. I hope you arent being actually asked at interview whether or not you have children - should be irrelevant.

TheWindInThePillows · 01/07/2016 08:21

I have never mentioned my children in interview, in fact in my current workplace many people didn't know I had children until very recently, I've been there 10 years! My close colleagues knew but it's just not something that comes up that often. I certainly wouldn't mention it in an interview.

dowhatnow · 01/07/2016 08:21

I think she is being asked why she is currently part time. Can't think of an actual reason apart from mentioning her child as she has done, but agree a plausible reason would be better.
Anyone?

mouldycheesefan · 01/07/2016 08:24

People don't usually put that they are part time in a cv or job application.

They just put

2006-present, Administrator, Jones Building Supplies

They do not put

2006-present, Administrator, Jones Building supplies (part time)
You do not put your hours of work on your cv.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/07/2016 08:24

I would say if the directly asked why I was previously part time "that I had caring responsibilities to balance at the time was I was now able to take full time work"

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 01/07/2016 08:26

It does sound as though by mentioning her, they think that it will be an issue for your work.

I recruit, and though I've never thought about it because it's never happened, if an interviewee said "by the way, I have a daughter aged 2" (how does it even crop up at interview? Unless the interviewee shoehorns it in, in which case, it looks like it's being done in order to start with the "so I'll need X, Y and Z" ) I would immediately think "here we go" and mentally file them into the "possibly not" pile.

user1465823522 · 01/07/2016 08:27

I don't mention my kids - any of them - because a) they don't impact on me being able to do my job and b) it's no one else's business

Theimpossiblegirl · 01/07/2016 08:27

I agree, no need to mention her at all. Unfortunately it invites them to then start wondering if you are reliable, if the job would be a priority etc. All very unfair and probably discriminatory, but it happens.

A male candidate would never be questioned about their childcare, so keep the playing field even. Good luck.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 01/07/2016 08:28

Or, yes, if it's the part time thing, then:

"what's the reason why you've been part time since X"

"I decided to work part time for a while while my child was younger, but now I'm ready to work full time again"

No explanations and fannying. Strong, confident facts.

Scarydinosaurs · 01/07/2016 08:29

Don't mention her unless they outright ask! I don't know why you would?

Original poster
Pandoraalora · 01/07/2016 08:29

Thanks for all the replies! I am probably just over thinking things that's all and I have anxiety that sometimes makes me spit out a lot of irrelevant stuff at the best of times! But that's a whole new thread...
Yes I do currently work part time and have been asked why at previous interviews but hopefully I won't be this time and I see that most people don't mention it now so I won't be mentioning DD and hopefully this interview will be a success

OP posts:
purits · 01/07/2016 08:29

What everyone else said. Also, it is quite normal to have a 2/3 year gap between DC so a future employer could think that you will start TTC the moment you get your foot through the door.

RJnomore1 · 01/07/2016 08:30

I would just say "it was due to persons circumstances which have now changed and as a result I am seeking full time employment"

Read into that what you will

mouldycheesefan · 01/07/2016 08:33

How does the employer know you were previously part time? If it's on your cv or you are mentioning it at the interview, stop.

You say you talk irrelevant stuff at the best of times, I think it's this that could be stopping you getting the job. Answer the question then stop talking. Don't fill silences. Don't give extra information not requested. Don't mention your hours, children, travel to work, salary, etc etc unless specifically asked.

Don't waffle. You are obviously very capable you are getting lots of interviews. Get a friend to do some interview practice with you.

Good luck.💐

FV45 · 01/07/2016 08:36

You know, it concerns me that people think they need to mention their personal family situations in interviews.

This seems like a really basic thing to me. Are young people not getting careers advice?

Nanny0gg · 01/07/2016 08:40

es I do currently work part time and have been asked why at previous interviews

Because, presumably you've mentioned it, either in your CV or at the interview.
Don't.

Raines100 · 01/07/2016 08:43

How many men do you think go into interviews and mention their kids?

parallax80 · 01/07/2016 08:45

To be fair, in my job application forms always ask for a list of previous posts and whether you worked full time, or less-than-full-time and if so, what %. So it's unavoidable. The most recent one I did also asked for dates of gaps in employment history including maternity leave!

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