too not mention DD anymore?

[Pandoraalora]

I have a job interview next week that I have many years experience in, however this is interview 6 5 that I've not been successful for.I'm beginning to wonder if it's because I've always mentioned my DD who is under 2 ( I am relatively young so would not assume I'm a mum ) and then they start to question my flexibility and childcare etc, so AIBU to try my best to avoid mentioning I have a DD ? I know I have no legal obligation to do so, however if I was successful when would I mention it?
This is a full time role after initially going back to my current job part time, so how would I get around that part?

Prospective employers are not supposed to ask you about personal stuff like childcare or plans for pregnancy etc, but if you mention it first then they can discuss it.

It will most likely put them off employing you, as they will immediately see that you might need time off which will have to be covered, even if they are supposed not to let it influence them - once it's out there, it's out there.

Here in Ireland in professional contexts they tend to take quite a LOT of stock in people's personal and family arrangements (not just women, usually outside of Dublin they are fishing to see if you are committed to staying in a particular area so they are keen on knowing if you have a partner or property if you are not from the area originally). I am also asked for hours worked in various roles.This was very new to me outside of UK but perhaps OP has this kind of background.

Slightly related question:

I will be attempting to return to work with a 10 year SAHM gap on my cv. What's the best way to explain it? "Caring responsibilities"? "Family commitment" and then just shut down?

I too don't want to mention the kids or even really talk about the gap, frankly, as I'll be retraining and it'll be irrelevant, but with my CV it seems to would be hard to avoid without stilted, cagey sentences on both sides.

Ken - have you been involved in any committees during your SAHM time or been a volunteer for PTA? Put anything like that down - it shows that you have remained active during your time off.

ken I think it's fair that they ask about gaps in a cv, and you simply say you were raising your family. There is nothing wrong with that. Don't make excuses for it, just state it as fact.

If you really think it's irrelevant then ask them why they are asking.

Isn't it a shame that we are so fearful of being tagged as slackers or always wanting time off if we have children. Far better would be to look at the references provided and make a judgement on whether the person can do the job. People have children, mothers are still the main carers or the ones to pick up the slack when someone is unwell. It either needs to change so that fathers are doing just as much or employers need to recognise that it happens, they should support their employees and take the appropriate disciplinary measures should the employee take the piss (in any respect of their work).

IME if people are slackers they are just that regardless of whether they have children or not. Same with remote workers. Pisses me off!

I think it's reasonable to ask people to explain gaps in their CV, and I've certainly had plenty cross my desk with obvious child raising gaps.

"I decided to have a career break"

Then a brisk smile and wait for the next question.

I've a senior professional role and have always mentioned my DC during interview, mainly to kill the elephant in the role. I've never not got a job I've interviewed for.

Like it or not many employers are prejudiced against woman with families and so I like to address it proactively: yes I have children, very settled, excellent support network etc etc. I want to shut the concerns down before they've been thought let alone articulated.

I've also interviewed many candidates and would caution against some of the more abrupt responses suggested here: by the time you get to the interview we are 95% certain you can do the job so it's now about how do you fit from a personal perspective. Usually that means, are you open, transparent and can I see myself working with you. Being deliberately evasive won't help - although I do appreciate it may be different at different levels in an organisation

Depends on your job... Parallax are you a medic by any chance? Any doctor in training can't hide or not mention mat leave just because of the way training works with a new post every 6 months and very clearly defined career progression on an annual basis..... If your on maternity leave you can meet the learning objectives / competencies and there fore don't progress. I think I recently missed out on a consultant post due to having one 2 year old where as the other candidate was a man with an older family....

Whispering I tend to agree.

I breastfed in an interview which was a senior consultant role. I got away with that because I had a very particular set of skills which were needed for that job that they weren't going to find in too many other candidates. I was 34 weeks pregnant in another role and also got that.

I think where any of us find ourselves in the position to demonstrate that motherhood and skill are not incompatible but may require balancing, it is a really positive thing to be able to take that stand. Unfortunately not everyone can but it's good to demonstrate that career success is not dependent on having no outside life or responsibilities if you can.

I've mentioned mine in 2 out of 3 recent interviews since having DC 2, got 2 of the jobs, and one I missed out on because I couldn't do the extra day of travelling they insisted on, which was fair enough. personally I prefer to mention the DC because I wouldn't want to work for a company with an un-supportive office culture - I do occasionally have to take short notice days off with sick dc and have child related school events in the day and if that's going to be a big deal, better to find out sooner than later. If you feel it's been a factor in you not getting the jobs though, don't mention them, you may well be right for your particular circs and industry. It might be at my age, most people expect me to have DC.

I'd agree re not being deliberately evasive. I haven't actively raised DD in an interview but I've always been open and willing to talk about it and mentioned it if there was a place in the conversation where it was natural and where, if I didn't mention it, it would look evasive later on. Thinking back I'm pretty sure it's come up in all of my interviews since I had children and it's never done me any harm but it's definitely about how you handle it. Some of the responses here are, IMO, too abrupt. I'm afraid someone who would only come up with "I decided to have a career break" after being out of the workplace for 10 years wouldn't get hired by me.

I mentioned my children at interview for my current job to explain why I wanted the job (its massively different from what I did previously, and although I have lots of qualifications relevant to my old job I have none relevant to this job!). My current job is part time and local though - and also I would not have taken it if they could not offer me hours that worked around the children - the "antisocial" hours they were looking to fill actually suited me for child care reasons, so they were relevant. Its the only interview I've ever mentioned children during and I got the job.

However if I was going for a full time role in line with my qualifications I would not mention them at all at interview unless I needed to ask for a compromise on hours of work (start later and work through lunch or whatever).

Try to just answer the questions they ask I guess.

I mention it as a 'cards on the table' thing. I need to be able to drop DS at school and collect him, that's the way it is. I can be flexible by it needs planning!

The last thing you want is to find yourself working somewhere where they think you are slacking because you leave on time or take the odd day off for sports day.

And with regards to gaps, dont ever say (unless true) that you were in prison. I actually did this - I have no idea why - to the very senior bod. It even says on my CV 'parental break' so maybe part of me was pissed so d that he hasn't bothered to read it.

I still got the job, even though it turned out to be a horror fest.

I have to mention I have children because they always want to know my previous work history and explain any gaps in my employment.

I don't know how else to explain the 16 year gap.

Otherwise I wouldn't mention them.

Quite disillusioned when I began work to discover HR was less interested in enforcing employment legislation, more keen to help our employer find loopholes in it, and that was many moons' ago.

Isn't it a shame that we are so fearful of being tagged as slackers or always wanting time off if we have children.
Yes FV45 it's not as if the only cases of absenteeism are thanks to women taking time off to deal with sick DCs.

People seem to accept men leave when they get a better offer, to get a pay rise or even work for a rival - but two lots of maternity leave in, say, 25 years, well, the cheek. Why bother pretending they want bright ambitious staff if females' reproductive potential marks them out as not 'promotion material'.

What I noticed was, working mothers don't fritter time away when in the office, they get stuck in. And in some areas the female workforce still need to prove themselves more, yet once offered a long term contract are loyal.

Am I naive to hope, now men can take paternity leave, employers won't necessarily think there's an advantage in employing a man for a role over a woman of childbearing age when they're equally experienced.

i worked for a firm with offices in the UK, India and US (software) and they said in India they are allowed to, and do ask, whether female interviewees have any plans to get married! Of course they can't and never would ask this in the UK. I was shocked that what I perceived as a nice company was only nice because of the legislation in place.