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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave toddler in car for school run

97 replies

Charmed18 · 29/06/2016 09:37

Someone left their toddler in the car to do the school run this morning. They look about 2 ish.
The road is opposite the school but the car was parked about five minutes away from entrance (I was walking past on my way home).
The drop off point for the older child is about 2 mins away from gate so they would prob be gone for 10 minutes by the time they dropped other child off and got back to car.

I didn't feel comfortable about it. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
LemonBreeland · 29/06/2016 09:38

Yes, you are overreacting and it is none of your business.

TeaBelle · 29/06/2016 09:41

No, it's irresponsible and I know tgatvthe police would not just wall past if an officer noticed this,

Original poster
Charmed18 · 29/06/2016 09:41

Fair enough I will keep out of it and leave her to it.

OP posts:
TeaBelle · 29/06/2016 09:42

Sorry about the spelling - not had coffee yet

Princesspinkgirl · 29/06/2016 23:43

I would report it if you see it again

beetroot2 · 29/06/2016 23:53

I wouldn't do it personally myself.

Report it? what would you say to who :)

Minisoksmakehardwork · 29/06/2016 23:58

I had the headteacher outside my car when I did similar and had flown in to collect dc from school (I had waited until children started coming out the gate). It had been reported to them that morning as I had done the same. I pointed out the child with sick bowl in the back and that I didn't think they wanted the bug spreading unnecessarily round school.

Now I ring the school office if I need to leave a child in the car and they send someone out to meet me, taking those going to school in. It's happened a few times since for various reasons.

So you have several option. Be that nosey person and risk upsetting a stressed out parent, wait by the car and ask the parent of they need any help - can you collect their child and deliver to car if little one is sleeping, or report to the school and hope that they can offer some help rather than weighing in with immediate abandoned child reports.

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 30/06/2016 00:00

YANBU. Definitely not the best idea.

Do you recognise the school child? If so I think I'd have a quiet word with a teacher, see if they can have a chat to the parent.

If it's an everyday occurrence take down licence plate and see if PCSO's would maybe have a firmer chat.

Shouldwestayorshouldwegonow · 30/06/2016 00:03

Nope wouldn't do it myself but know people who do and they are good parents.

Who would you report to princess?

SS are actually fairly busy! Hmm

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 30/06/2016 00:04

Was it sunny? I wouldn't do it in hot or sunny weather due to risk of child overheating.

LouBlue1507 · 30/06/2016 00:28

OP.. It's not your business tbh, you knew mum was just dropping off another child, so what's the problem? If it was a different situation e.g. you didn't know where mum was then maybe you could be concerned.

I doubt at 9am the car would be hot enough to cause overheating.

A toddler is more than reasonably safe strapped into a car seat, in a locked car for 5/10 mins whilst mum runs other child into school..

Scoopmuckdizzy · 30/06/2016 00:31

Our school sent out letters warning parents not do do this after someone left a sleeping toddler in the car at the school gate.

BastardGoDarkly · 30/06/2016 00:31

I wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't judge, I'm sure the mother's evaluated the pros and cons and decided for herself.

It's not illegal afaik.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 30/06/2016 00:34

Fucking hell one post in worrying about the safety of a child and you get greeted with the old "Mind your own business" chestnut.Hmm.
Of course you're not being unreasonable. If you see anything, at all that you're concerned about report it. You'll never forgive yourself if something goes wrong.

AShadowLurkingInTheShadows · 30/06/2016 00:34

Ybu

Ive done it when ds2 was asleep and he'd scream 22/24 hours of the Day.

Also not allowed to take prams into the pre-school so do sits outside in the pram with the other babies in the school playground (it's attached to the school through the gates)

Different strokes for different folks

TheBouquets · 30/06/2016 00:53

A child who is not well and liable to actually throw up is left alone inside a presumably locked car? Is there any awareness of choking on vomit. The other children in the car/household could already have the germ/bug which they will pass around the school by going in anyway.
No child should be left alone for even a second in a car
I would not do it but others may have different views on the subject.

BastardGoDarkly · 30/06/2016 00:55

How do you know the child's not well Bouquets ?

LilySnape · 30/06/2016 01:03

No your not over reacting that was a shitty parenting move. What if a speeding car hsd crashed into the parked car with the toddler in or what if the toddler had suddenly been sick and started choking to death ? Or got out of their car seat and fallen over hitting their head ? 1001 things can happen in mere seconds when a small child is left alone and it should never be attempted. What can seem like a silly over reaction can become reality all too quickly and you'll blame yourself for the rest of your life

laurenwiltxx · 30/06/2016 01:03

Being a parent, means dealing with situations responsibly not just whatever is easiest or seems the best thing to do. You wouldn't leave them at home while you ran to the shop so why would it be ok to leave them in the car. It shouldn't be done and it should be reported. You don't know if the parent is an arsehole who always leaves them in the car to do things and isn't looking after them properly, if its just a mistake it will be dealt with easily. Stress is part of the job

laurenwiltxx · 30/06/2016 01:07

I'm actually so sick of bad parents using stress or sleeping child as an excuse. Tough shit if they are sleeping you need to do something so they might have to be woken up omg its the end of the world you might actually have to bother with your child and get them back to sleep. ConfusedAngry

Anonymouses · 30/06/2016 01:13

I wouldn't do it unless I had to eg kid in car was contagious or something. I wouldn't report it though.

EttaJ · 30/06/2016 01:18

No YANBU. Next time it might be someone that decides to take said child. Anything can and does happen. Jesus, I wouldn't leave my bag/purse/iphone in the car out of sight, let alone a child!

SpecialSnowflake · 30/06/2016 01:19

I'd have thought the car being out of sight was the issue rather than the parent not taking the child out.
I regularly leave my 2yo in the car near the school gate while I collect their sibling - the car is in full sight, 20 seconds away from the gate, off the road, windows open when necessary etc. I don't feel this is inappropriate, tho I'm sure some would.
If I can't get that parking spot I have to park out of sight of the gate and on the road, so take toddler with me to collect. The car could be side-swiped while parked, or toddler could release themselves from their seat somehow etc - too risky.
If this seems to be a regular occurrence I'd mention it to the school office, they can have a word with the parent.

Leggytadpole · 30/06/2016 14:31

My child would have been really upset and scared at being left alone at that age. YANBU. I think it's irresponsible.

Would people be so accepting if the parent lived down the road and left the 2 YO at home for the school run? I don't think so.

123lekl · 30/06/2016 14:36

If the car is out of sight then it's not ideal but I don't think it's a reportable offence. At worse let school know and they could send out another general letter

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