To leave toddler in car for school run

[Charmed18]

Someone left their toddler in the car to do the school run this morning. They look about 2 ish.
The road is opposite the school but the car was parked about five minutes away from entrance (I was walking past on my way home).
The drop off point for the older child is about 2 mins away from gate so they would prob be gone for 10 minutes by the time they dropped other child off and got back to car.

I didn't feel comfortable about it. Am I overreacting?

[CalleighDoodle]

If this post was changed to 'i was told by another mum that my nanny leaves my toddler in the car alone for ten minutes, completely out of sight, while she takes my older child to school because she says it is easier. Im raging. Aibu?' Everyone would be appalled and there would be cries of sack her.

[LovebitofMN]

At the end of the day, the toddler is more likely to come to harm on the walk to the school gate than being strapped in a locked car.

Yeah maybe it's even better to be without his mum!
A locked car out of site out of mind it's easier for both ...

[AutumnMadness]

I am always amazed at these kinds of discussions. I just tried googling "child stolen from locked car" and found NOTHING besides three old articles about how children got accidentally stolen by thieves who were stealing cars, all from the US.

Seriously, people who cannot leave a child along in the car for a few minutes - why on earth do you drive? The risk of both you and your child being involved in a car accident and dying or coming to serious bodily harm is much, much greater than anything happening to your child when they are alone, in a locked and cool car, for a few minutes. I really do not understand, why do you drive? It is so dangerous and irresponsible to put your child in such a risky situation.

[justpassthecake]

I can't believe some of the replies here

The car is out of SIGHT! Not to mention a good walk away from the school. All it takes is a nasty person to clock on that the toddler gets left there for the school run, and they'll just time it and could well take that child away.

Honestly, how difficult is it to take the child with you? I think dealing with a tantrum from a sleepy baby is far less inconvenient than harm coming to the child... Which is totally possible and it's daft to risk it

[LouBlue1507]

All it takes is a nasty person to clock on that the toddler gets left there for the school run, and they'll just time it and could well take that child away

Really!? Hysterical much? Like I said earlier, for many reasons, the chances of this happening are so unlikely!

[LovebitofMN]

So two girls took a toddler from primark and they wouldn't take a toddler from a car?

[AutumnMadness]

Repeat question: Why do you drive? Every 10 minutes, a child or a young person is killed or injured on UK roads (www.childalert.co.uk/article.php?articles_id=196). If you drive (or even walk close to roads), how can you live with constantly putting your children in such danger?

[LouBlue1507]

Like I said, breaking into a locked car with people passing is difficult and would draw too much attention... Distracting a parent in a busy shop and walking off with a toddler is a lot easier..

[LovebitofMN]

At least you're next to your child when you drive!
Quite incomparable when you are leaving your child unattended and locked in a car in full view of everyone!

[LovebitofMN]

Like I said, breaking into a locked car with people passing is difficult and would draw too much attention... Distracting a parent in a busy shop and walking off with a toddler is a lot easier

Let's lock them away then... they might never get into an accident, get a bruise or even a virus! Even better get rid of the mums as well as they are easily distracted, drive like crazy and pose a massive risk

[AutumnMadness]

Lovebit, do you really think that being next to your child is going to help you when your car gets run over by a lorry on the motorway? Or if the car decides to spontaneously blow up (think about how long it would take you to get to the back seat from the front seat and get your child out of the restraints). I really think there is a case of false sense of security here.

I also feel that often people focus on non-existent or very improbable dangers to avoid thinking about the real ones. It gives them some sense of control over their lives and helps avoid the psychologically uncomfortable realisation that they don't have much control at all.

[NellysKnickers]

I wouldn't because at that age ds1 would have been scared and ds2 would have quite likely hot wired the car and gone for a joyride

[LouBlue1507]

Let's lock them away then... they might never get into an accident, get a bruise or even a virus! Even better get rid of the mums as well as they are easily distracted, drive like crazy and pose a massive risk

Did I say that? No? The point I'm making is that the Mother has done nothing wrong except probably done what she thought was best at the time and realistically, it is the safest option...

[madein1995]

When you look after other people's children (a nanny for eg) you do things a lot more carefully than you would your own,as they're someone else's most precious person, and your job is to do. I think it's fine. Child highly unlikely to be snatched (mothers routinely left babies prams outside shops and were fine) and seriously wrestling a tantrumming kid out the car, into school, back to car, while watching older sibling, is likely to take longer than 10 mins and cause mum and kids stress. Provided cars locked I think it's ok. There's hardly lots of reports if children being snatched from cars is there?

[BugPlaster]

CalleighDoodle has summed up MN.

OP YANBU. Bad judgement on the mum's part. Hope somebody else has already reported her to anybody while this thread has been getting its knickers in a twist.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

The car is out of sight and the person doing the drop off is out of sight of the child. I wouldn't do it or be comfortable seeing someone else do it and I'd consider myself fairly relaxed by MN standards I leave my kids in the car while I pay for petrol for example

[EightAce]

I suspect the answers would have been very different if the MIL had done this. In those circumstances, there'd be calls for the fucker to burn.

Not unreasonable at all OP, it's a crazy thing to do.

[Fiona80]

I think a child is more likely to be injured on the walk into the school than in a car. But the risks need to be assessed carefully. I have previously left mine on the odd occaision, but for max 1/2 mins and the car is within view and all the other mums know to look out for them, there is no yellow lines. It would be different if I couldn't see the car or it was far away. I now get one of the other mums to wait with them if i need to speak to the teacher. Thank goodness my daughter can walk in the gate through the door and I can c her from the car and the teacher bring them out to the gate where you can park on the road at the end of the day.

Do it for petrol as well, who wants to take 2 DC under 3 into a petrol station, esp if they are going to be unruly.

As for those that say don't leave them for a minute, how do you cook and clean at home or go to the loo or shower. The risks of someone snatching a child from a car are probably less than that of a child being taken from their bed at home, how do you .et your DC sleep in their own room, someone could break in and take them.

I seen a lady park a large people carrier in P&C ace at tesco, no kids with her, was wandering why, got closer to the car but couldn't see in as the windows were tinted, but think there were car seats n kids sleeping, couldn't really c, but the spaces are not even near entrance so that's out of order as it was a superstore n would at min b 10/15 mins or longer.

[KondosSecretJunkRoom]

I wouldn't do it but I don't expect everyone to be the same as me. I don't think it was unreasonable. I certainly don't think it needs to be reported. Even if the driver were the MiL 😉

[Charmed18]

Sorry, that was my first post and I didn't realise there were similar posts made before I could have referred to. The car was parked very far from the school gates and that is why I was so surprised. I wouldn't have batted an eyelid tbh if it had in the carpark. I was not exaggerating the time. The road is a very long road and parking is very difficult anywhere near the school. I wasn't worried about anything happening to the child as such, but that they may be upset and be left crying for the 10 minutes it would take to come back. I personally would never do it with my own children in those circumstances. I think it's a difficult one but I don't think I can do much about it so I'm going to keep my nose out.

[Fomalhaut]

Risk isn't just about the likelihood of something happening. It's also about the severity of the consequences if it does. A tiny risk (car catching fire/abduction/choking) perhaps, but the consequences don't bear thinking about. And improbable things DO happen.

People run campaigns about not leaving dogs in cars but seem to think it's ok to leave a baby ...

[limon]

YANBU and those saying mind your own business are irresponsible.