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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave toddler in car for school run

97 replies

Charmed18 · 29/06/2016 09:37

Someone left their toddler in the car to do the school run this morning. They look about 2 ish.
The road is opposite the school but the car was parked about five minutes away from entrance (I was walking past on my way home).
The drop off point for the older child is about 2 mins away from gate so they would prob be gone for 10 minutes by the time they dropped other child off and got back to car.

I didn't feel comfortable about it. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Purplehonesty · 30/06/2016 23:02

I leave my 3yo in the car while I get my 6yo out and walk him about ten paces to the playground top gate.
I feel uncomfortable even doing that and I can see the car!
Wouldn't do it out of sight plus she would get upset.

witchywoohoo · 30/06/2016 23:09

Do you know what you could do if you are so concerned - you could stand next to the car and keep a watch over the child until the mum comes back.

bumsexatthebingo · 30/06/2016 23:20

Erm should the op do that every day? Presumably she also has a child/children to take to and from school.

witchywoohoo · 30/06/2016 23:36

There is no evidence to suggest that this happens every day. The OP clearly stated it happened today. If the mother of the child has assessed the risks and chosen to leave the child in the car, but the OP is uncomfortable with it - I suggested ways in which she could STOP feeling uncomfortable. She also said she was on her way HOME. If I was so concerned that I felt the need to post about it on here - i wouldn't have just walked past and gone home - i would have waited.

MrsMarigold · 30/06/2016 23:53

I did this today. I left the window open a bit and locked the car - DD was busy eating a banana, she is almost four but she's bit of a runner and is safer staying put. I don't think it is that bad, there are bigger hazards.

bumsexatthebingo · 01/07/2016 00:09

You do realise that bananas are one of the most common foods children choke on? That s worse than the op imo. Why not just hold the childs hand and take them with you?

suesue89 · 01/07/2016 00:22

I would not do it myself, I've been watching too many crime shows and probably worry myself to death. Lol. Even when I out petrol in my car I take my daughter out with me to pay. I know a bit extreme even my DH is like you can watch her whilst you pay but hey each to their own I guess.

KnackeredDumpling · 01/07/2016 00:22

I do it sometimes if my three year old is asleep. I leave the car alarm on so it goes off if she wakes up and by some miracle manages to get out of her car seat. even so she'd never be able to knock the handbrake - admittedly I do it when I can park right outside the playground. (No zig zag lines here).

I don't think this is particularly risky. I've noticed quite a few people do it.

Vixyboo · 01/07/2016 00:47

Leggytadpole makes a good point. I have a 2 year old who cries when I get out of the car and go to the boot! He panics when he can't see me!!

Vixyboo · 01/07/2016 00:51

Please do not leave children to eat unattended. One day I was washing up in the kitchen. Ds was a baby and was sucking on a piece of food. I had him in his chair in the kitchen with me. Suddenly he went floppy and his face changed colour. He was choking. I had to do three back slaps to get the food out. If he had been out of my sight I would have had no idea he was choking! Very frightening experience.

Babymamamama · 01/07/2016 00:56

I would never leave a child that young alone in a car. What if they became very distressed? What if something happened on route and you couldn't get back to the car? And as for the poster who would lock the sleeping child in the car with the alarm on. Car alarms are usually super loud. How stressful for the child to be locked in, awake with an alarm blasting out if it was triggered. If I found a child locked in a car and no sign of parent/carer I would ring the police.

EttaJ · 01/07/2016 03:35

Loublue are you really that naive? Do you think that there are not people ,really sick people that look out for unattended children and notice the movements of someone that leaves a child alone in a car?!

As for cars getting hit whilst parked , yes that happens and I should know as years ago some idiot hit my new car whilst it was parked outside my DC school and wrecked it. If there had been a baby or child in the car they would have been seriously injured if not killed.

As for leaving them eating unattended, like has been said and experience by others , choking takes no time at all.

LouBlue1507 · 01/07/2016 04:48

EttaJ

Are you really that naive? Please point me in the direction of this happening to someone? A child is more likely to be kidnapped by someone they know rather than a stranger.. Fact.
I don't want to sound like a professional kidnapper here, but if I was going to take a child...
A) I wouldn't break into a car and risk setting the alarm off..
B) Attempt to take child during peak time outside/near the school when there will be parents and children constantly back and forth.
C) Attempt to take the child from a place where the child is well know e.g. Other parents probably know baby Jake is Lou's child. What is that man doing with Jake?

Rockelburger · 01/07/2016 05:20

This could be the next Madeleine McCann situation. Only takes a minute for a child to be snatched. I'd report it to the police

LouBlue1507 · 01/07/2016 05:25

It would take a lot longer than a minute to break into a car and take a child! Not to mention the noise and attention it would attract, Hence why it never happens!
This situation can not be compared to Madeline McCann at all! How fucking insulting! That little girl was left alone for hours with an open window into the apartment! Completely different senario! Angry

LovebitofMN · 01/07/2016 06:05

Disgusting when people say don't judge, mind you own business etc
Yeah turn a blind eye to shit happening ..... Is that the British attitude?
Absolutely anything can happen to this child, bottom line mum is not there to protect DC end of!
I'd leave a note on the car that if she does it again she's reported!

Rockelburger · 01/07/2016 06:17

Sorry loublue but it does happen. Sick people about.

NavyAndWhite · 01/07/2016 06:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chaplin1409 · 01/07/2016 06:30

I would mention something to the school and hopefully they could send out a general letter or text to all parents. If I knew the parent I would offer to bring their other child down or drop them home if they ever needed help. It is hard when you have younger children or ill children but you don't leave them in their own in my opinion.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 01/07/2016 06:33

A mum at our school waited in the car and when she saw me walking past with my DD, asked me to walk hers in (in same class). That's what I'd do if DS was ill, get there early so I could park right where I could see everyone walking past. Now DD is nearly 7yo, I'd watch her walk in herself.

I wouldn't leave DS in the car because it can get very hot inside, very quickly, even on an overcast day.

NoahVale · 01/07/2016 06:34

yanbu
it is not hard to take the toddler out of the car surely

We ALL have to do it

NoahVale · 01/07/2016 06:36

the ones that say yabu are probably the ones that do it themselves, but they too are unreasonable.

Believeitornot · 01/07/2016 08:07

the ones that say yabu are probably the ones that do it themselves, but they too are unreasonable

Are you saying that to make yourself feel better?

I've never left my two children unattended in a car Hmm and I say YABU to anyone who does.

MrsMarigold · 01/07/2016 08:14

Weigh up the probability of choking or being taken like Madeleine McCann, the car being hit, it's tiny I think people on here are often very judgemental - my DD does not like holding hands, we need to cross a major road to school so I have assessed the risks.

LouBlue1507 · 01/07/2016 09:04

MrsMarigold Exactly! It's all about risk assessment.. At the end of the day, the toddler is more likely to come to harm on the walk to the school gate than being strapped in a locked car. I'm sure the Mum weighed up her options and did what she thought was best!