Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you are happy?

77 replies

SweetElizaRose · 03/06/2016 17:41

It occurred to me today that basically I've spent all my adult life waiting to feel happy. Or content. And I never have and so essentially I'm just waiting for time to pass until the inevitable conclusion.
And as I thought that I also realised that no one I know is happy either. They are all worried or unhappy about something - kids, health, work, money, aging parents, divorce etc

Is anyone happy? Or at least content? I realise not everything can be perfect all of the time, or even any of the time.
If you are happy how did you achieve it? And if you aren't what would need to change so you were?

OP posts:
CrazyDuchess · 03/06/2016 18:00

I am content. On paper my life should be miserable - really! NC with family, no job, broke and in debt, single mother, hardly any friends, Chronic physical and mental illness, it just gets worse.....

But the way I look at it (after a heap of therapy and medication) I have good friends!, my family are pretty toxic, I have a roof over my head, I may have a new job in a few weeks..... it could be so much worse.

For me - people say life is short, but it's the longest thing I'll ever do so I need to make myself as happy and comfortable as possible.

I try not to dwell on the past, regret is a wasted emotion in my eyes and figure we are ultimately the creators of our own happiness.

I don't feel like this everyday and it require a real effort in my head to focus on the positives in life.

trilbydoll · 03/06/2016 18:07

Happy enough. Two dc who won't go to bed which is frustrating, as a result we have no evenings and house is a tip. Both work too many hours but I'm only p/t so could be worse. More money would be nice, but I don't have to worry about how much the shopping is each week.

Life isn't mega exciting but none of my problems seem particularly bad.

I don't get stressed about stuff I can't change or is outside my control. My MIL worries for Britain, I know she's worried about how tired we are, and that BIL isn't married with kids yet. That, to me, is such a waste of energy I can't even comprehend it.

BursarsFrogs · 03/06/2016 18:09

Occasionally. I try to embrace the little moments. I've got a lot of issues, but luckily they don't bring me down constantly.

AlMinzerAndHisPyramidOfDogs · 03/06/2016 18:14

Happy enough.
i can do exactly what i want a lot of the time and even though i have made mistakes, they're not as big as some people's.
more money would help and i would love to quit my job to be honest, but otherwise everything is ok.

Rebecca2014 · 03/06/2016 18:14

Hmm good question. I never asked myself that, am I happy?

I am a single mum with a 4 year old daughter in a low paid job I cannot see myself lasting in. However I have been accepted onto a social work degree so if all goes to plan my future career is sorted which is fantastic, but I still don't feel happy.

My social life sucks, need lose a few pounds and it be nice to have a partner...so maybe one day I be fully content with my life.

Lovewhereilive · 03/06/2016 18:14

I think most of the time I am happy. I feel very lucky with my lot in life and try to live life to the full as you never know what is around the corner.

Msqueen33 · 03/06/2016 18:16

Hmmmm I think maybe once upon a time I was happy. I seem to have been worn down. Two of my three kids have autism and life for the last four/five years have been very hard. I miss feeling content.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 03/06/2016 18:19

Very very happy.

I've never known unhappiness.

I'm apprehensive at times I'll get it all at once. No one can be that lucky.,

WorraLiberty · 03/06/2016 18:20

I'm happy and content.

I still worry about kids, health, work, money, aging parents etc but that doesn't stop me being happy and content with life.

Worrying about those things is simply part of life. The same as wondering what the weather will be like next week, or what to cook for dinner tomorrow.

SternlyVoice · 03/06/2016 18:22

Yes, I am content and would even say, happy. Yes, there are days when work stresses me out and gets me down or my dd is doing something that gets on my nerves. But, I am happy. For me, the big change that made the difference was moving house about a year ago. For the first time since I moved to this part of the country (10 years ago), I feel that I'm home. I don't want to live anywhere else, ever again. We have a nice house with an overgrown garden(!) but with a fabulous outlook onto green fields. My dh and I have a 20-30 minute commute to work in the city where we used to live. My dh is a great dad and does his fair share with both parenting and housework. Our dd has settled in the local school and made friends. And we're making friends too. And our new town has lots going on too. So, although it's all down to the house move, it's really the change in lifestyle that we are loving.

NeedANewTattoo · 03/06/2016 18:22

Yes I'm happy and content. I've been with my husband nearly 20 years and have a beautiful daughter who we struggled for 7 years of infertility treatment to have.
We've had a tough few years with my mum being ill and losing my father. My dh and I have both suffered from depression at times.
Now I'm working at a local school for 6 hours a week (used to be full time management), my dh has just quit his reasonably well paid ft job to become a pt support worker, is studying for the first time in his life and really happy. There are a few issues around us that could have an impact on our lives if we let them but we don't.
We now have a lot less money than a few years ago but I couldn't care less. DD, DH and I are a strong little family and enjoy our time together and concentrate on making memories. We're teaching her that happiness comes from people and not possessions. We give to charity as much as we can to show out DD the good it does and no matter how little we may feel we have there is always someone worse off so we make the best of our situation.

Pinkheart5915 · 03/06/2016 18:23

I am happy
I've got a good DH and last year I had my ds he is all I wanted for so long after my first pregnancy ended with a stillbirth. I'm pregnant again and expecting a DD in August. We don't have any money worries, I've got a gorgeous home and my family are all in good health at the moment.

pitterpatterrain · 03/06/2016 18:27

Yes I am happy-
Lost my mum nearly 8 years ago but she said being happy is the most important thing, she didn't have much but she certainly had a "be grateful" mindset
Work might be stressful, lots of stuff to do, could be warmer, would be nice to win the lottery but here I am sat drinking banana milkshake thinking yup- I am happy

OhHolyFuck · 03/06/2016 18:29

No. I hope that I will be again someday though

icy121 · 03/06/2016 18:31

I'm barren and haven't been happy since realising it. You live with deep sadness but now and then it's like a punch to the stomach. Today I had it walking across a road, felt myself gasping for breath & trying not to break down and weep. Life is otherwise fine. Difficulties but we have plenty of money and a nice house which will be paid off in a few years so that's a massive weight off. But no, I'm not happy right now.

Welshmaenad · 03/06/2016 18:33

Yes.

My health is shit, my house is a tip, I spend far too much time running around after my dad, my mum died, my eldest DC is disabled and I worry about her future as well as her present, I worry I'm a shit mother and am failing my kids, I get stressed out about the pressures of my degree, my last placement nearly killed me off, and I'm broke as fuck.

BUT, my kids are amazing, I have wonderful friends in my life, my dad is a marvellous old git who I adore, I'm training for a career I'm passionate about, I have a roof over my head and ice cream in the freezer, and a partner who adores me and who I adore. Life is busy, hectic, a constant worry, but I'm happy.

Rebecca the social work will change your life, make you question everything you thought you knew about yourself and test your emotional resilience to the max, but you are going to LOVE IT. Good luck and feel free to pm me with any questions.Grin

BG2015 · 03/06/2016 18:34

Yes I'm happy!

Moved a year ago after splitting with my EA partner in Dec 2013. Took an age to sell the house and be rid of him but it finally happened. Financially responsible for my 2 teenage DC and I'm not rich but comfortable.

Met a great bloke unexpectedly at my gym and we love the same things and are enjoying life!

NerrSnerr · 03/06/2016 18:36

Yes I am happy. Work is stressful but it is really flexible, I have a tiny commute and can often work from home. We have a nice house, a great (but exhausting toddler) and we are trying for a second child. Before we had our daughter we moved to a village and I now have a wonderful group of friends who all have kids the same age.

I have never particularly been unhappy but this time in my life is the happiest.

arethereanyleftatall · 03/06/2016 18:37

I'm blissfully happy ATM. I've been happy most of my life tbh but never more so than now.
A lot of it is luck tbh, and also because I'm a 'glass half full' kind of person.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 03/06/2016 18:37

ThroughThick ditto, I'm worried we're way overdue some bad luck.

But despite having that worry, I am very happy and content and know how lucky we are. Of course I have my down days (today!) but I too would say I have never known unhappiness. Me and DH are both very optimistic and see the best in situations so maybe someone else with the exact same experiences would feel differently. I think outlook plays a bit part.

stumblymonkey · 03/06/2016 18:37

I'm completely content.

For me, this isn't the same as having no worries - they're two totally different things. The worries are external things: I've just been made redundant, I have bipolar disorder, I'm really quite overweight at the moment, I have a couple of health issues, etc.

However the happiness and contentment is in myself. If something external happens, like redundancy, it may take a knock for a few days and then it bounces back.

I've learnt to appreciate what I DO have a lot more...good friends, my Mum, my DP, my cats, not living on the breadline, etc.

TheFuckersBitingMe · 03/06/2016 18:39

Flowers OhHolyFuck I hope you are someday soon.

I think I am happy, mostly. The DCs are healthy and surviving without too many problems, I love my job, DH and I amble along gently together and we have fun as a family. We have no money worries and DH loves running his business.

We have definite moments of unhappiness; DS1 has ASD and the last 12 months trying to work out how best to support him, and fighting for that support in school, has been tremendously hard. It came to a head last October when he tried to hurt himself several times and for a while I genuinely thought I'd never feel happy again, because that feeling just invades every second of every day. At times I've come home and done nothing but cry and swear to DH that I want to kill everyone for being so utterly shitey. But still, the happiness absolutely outweighs the unhappiness.

TheWitchesofIzalith · 03/06/2016 18:41

*I'm happy and content.

I still worry about kids, health, work, money, aging parents etc but that doesn't stop me being happy and content with life.

Worrying about those things is simply part of life. The same as wondering what the weather will be like next week, or what to cook for dinner tomorrow*
I couldn't have said it better myself worra. I worry about these things too, but the basic requirements for me to be content are met. I have plenty of food, a warm house, a loving family, good friends and my freedom.
Yes, it would be lovely to have more money to enable me to do more things than I can now, but I'm not sure my life would be any happier. More varied, more exciting perhaps? But not necessarily happier.

Borogoves · 03/06/2016 18:42

On paper I should be happy but I don't think I've ever really experienced happiness. I always feel like I'm a bit disconnected from things. I can be with friends or family and everyone having a great time and I feel like I'm going through the motions and just acting happy to fit in. I'm surprised so many PP are so happy!

soggyweetabix · 03/06/2016 18:44

Yes, I'm happy.

I find that having the mantra of 'don't compare' really, really helps.