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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be gutted by this comment DH has made?

70 replies

Kismet123 · 10/05/2016 15:26

I'm coming towards the end of my pregnancy... I'm 38+4.

This morning, when I was getting out of the shower - DH goes "gosh, you're boobs are actually pretty saggy!" Then laughed and just carried on, I don't think he meant it in an awful way, or to offend. However, I'm upset, that has upset me as he knows I'm feeling self conscious of my body right now. Am I just being hormonal and taking too much offence?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kismet123 · 10/05/2016 15:47

FYI, my boobs probably are saggy

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 10/05/2016 15:49

YANBU

Tell him he upset you, give him chance to reassure you he was being a thoughtless idiot rather than a cruel twat.

FluffyPersian · 10/05/2016 15:50

That's a very cruel thing to say at ANY point in your life, whether you're pregnant or not. I'd be incredibly hurt if my partner said anything like that.

How would he like it if he got out the shower and you said 'God, your arse has gone south, hasn't it?'

Maybe try it when initiating the conversation?

I'd certainly want to know what his thinking was behind saying that....

MrsRonBurgundy · 10/05/2016 15:50

Jesus no, YANBU

Really insensitive. I'd be angry with my DH for saying something like that at any time, never mind when you're very pregnant and hormonal and feeling conscious. What does he expect you to actually do about it? It's not constructive, it's just mean.

I bet your boobs are fine by the way, probably even lovely.

newtscamander · 10/05/2016 15:50

The next time he steps out the shower just say "gosh, your cock is actually pretty tiny!" then laugh and carry on.

Rosebud05 · 10/05/2016 15:50

Speak to him. Tell him exactly what you've said here.

You haven't just 'taken offence' - you understand that he didn't mean to upset you but he did.

It's irrelevant whether your boobs are saggy or not. Your dh needs to know that you're sensitive to having negative comments made about your body and not to do it.

AgathaMystery · 10/05/2016 15:51

That's really unkind.

Especially as you've always been so understanding about his tiny penis.

NewNameNotTheSame · 10/05/2016 15:52

I'd have strangled DH with my saggy tits if he came out with that when I was that pregnant. Insensitive git. Make sure you let him know it upset you. He will probably pass it off as a joke which is probably was to him but it makes no difference, it hurt your feelings and he should be sorry.

Buggers · 10/05/2016 15:53

I agree Next time his in the shower comment how he somehow has gotten a bit smaller down below..Grin it can work both ways.

Fwaffy · 10/05/2016 15:53

Oh God. What a twattish thing to say! Having said that, my DH made humpback whale noises to me the other dayShock. It did give me a fit of the giggles but could've gone either way.

I would tell him he actually hurt your feelings, even if he was just trying to make light. Let him know you've been feeling a bit insecure about your body etc and that you could do with some loving reassurance rather than being a focus for comedy.

Flowers for you. I'm in the saggy boob club now too.

RaeSkywalker · 10/05/2016 15:54

YANBU! Shock

Seeyounearertime · 10/05/2016 16:00

When he has a shower, wait till he gets out,
"My isnt your penis tiny really?"

Then carry on about your day.

YANBU.

member · 10/05/2016 16:01

YANBU.

If dh did something along those lines, I think I'd go all passive aggressive and obviously duct tape my boobs so that they were pointing un-naturally North just before he came home then enquire "unsaggy enough for you now you shrivel-cocked weasel ?

sepa · 10/05/2016 16:01

I would have taken offence when I was that far pregnant. If they are actually saggy then said any other time I would probably laugh! I wish saggy boobs was my problem. Stretch marks mapping the world running over my belly/legs/armpits

RoganJosh · 10/05/2016 16:03

I would ask him if he'd been watching a lot of porn.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 10/05/2016 16:08

Wow that's rude of him! That would make me lose a bit of confidence around my parter I think. I'd be tempted to tell him you assume he's not interested in them and tell him they're out of bounds to him from now on.

HisNameWasPrinceAndHeWasFunky · 10/05/2016 16:08

When he has a shower, wait till he gets out,
"My isnt your penis tiny and saggy really?"

This (as amended) Grin

Ilovetorrentialrain · 10/05/2016 16:10

Love some of these suggestions for comebacks!

Labbiemum16 · 10/05/2016 16:13

Ask him if he will stump up for a breast enhancement surgery, sure he will probably have a change of heart then.

By the way, my tits are saggy too!! Hazards of having children i am afraid.

YANBU

Topseyt · 10/05/2016 16:15

If my DH had said anything like that when I was pregnant then I would probably have used said saggy boobs to whomp him one, at the same time as commenting on his minuscule willy.

Taste of own medicine usually does the trick IMHO.

Tell him he has hurt you at what is really a very sensitive time for most women.

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 10/05/2016 16:19

Maybe you should inform it that IF your boobs are getting saggy it's most likely because your boobs are not for the benefit of him but for the benefit of your children and they 'sag' downwards so that the milk ducts point down so the baby can drink properly..... They don't make water fountains/beer pumps pointing upwards do they?

So either he was ignorant of the fact or he was pointing it out to congratulate you on your boobs which are perfect to nourish his child Grin

LupoLounger · 10/05/2016 16:20

YANBU

Of course, you may have some dynamic (I don't know, a history of 'banter' where you call him 'nano-cock' as a nickname or something) that provides context which makes the totally idiotic comment 0.000001% less idiotic, but no. I think that's pretty damned insensitive by any reasonable standard.

You're the one who has to come to terms with changes to your body that may occur during pregnancy. I wouldn't want an external locus making me feel bad.

LupoLounger · 10/05/2016 16:22

*full disclosure - I'm a bloke and a husband. I'd fully expect my balls to be made into earrings If I ever said it.

mrsdoughnut · 10/05/2016 16:23

YANBU. He sounds like a twat.

Branleuse · 10/05/2016 16:25

What a shite thing for him to say.

"wow, youre really quite a cunt arent you" would be my response