Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be gutted by this comment DH has made?

70 replies

Kismet123 · 10/05/2016 15:26

I'm coming towards the end of my pregnancy... I'm 38+4.

This morning, when I was getting out of the shower - DH goes "gosh, you're boobs are actually pretty saggy!" Then laughed and just carried on, I don't think he meant it in an awful way, or to offend. However, I'm upset, that has upset me as he knows I'm feeling self conscious of my body right now. Am I just being hormonal and taking too much offence?

OP posts:
emilybohemia · 10/05/2016 16:26

My boobs have sagged all my life, even as an 18 year old who weighed seven stone.It's a bit of a myth that all women's breasts are pert anyway. Regardless, it is an awful thing to say and I hope this is a blip and not something he does a lot.

Your body is amazing and you are making a child and noone had the right to snigger at your body

I like your response, Lupo.

Fizzielove · 10/05/2016 16:27

Don't forget to laugh after you comment about his tiny willy!!

AdmiralData · 10/05/2016 16:28

Tell him that saggy they may be but they're still perkier than his moobs? Or perhaps inform him that is ball sack resembles a deflated balloon? Insensitive prick. YY to telling him how you feel about his comment.

HazelBite · 10/05/2016 16:33

When I was in the bath 36 weeks pregnant with the DT's , Dh came in and told me that I looked like an oven ready turkey.
I wasn't impressed!

oldlaundbooth · 10/05/2016 16:38

Loving the comments about his tiny cock. Or you could always comment on his pot belly or something. Or:

'God, you've actually really lost muscle mass recently, haven't you?'

Make sure you sweep away majestically afterwards too.

BipBippadotta · 10/05/2016 16:38

Don't worry, everything looks saggy when juxtaposed with a big taut bump. Pregnancy makes a body so foreign so quickly that I think sometimes comments just jump out, from fascination / interest rather than horror. Awful thing to hear though!

Whip your dh with a wet towel & tell him that was a shitty thing to say & that he hurt your feelings . As a pp said, give him the chance to prove he's thoughtless rather than cruel.

Grin @ 'nano-cock'

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/05/2016 16:38

Insensitive and thoughtless of him, but if he's good in most ways I'd try to forget it.

A couple of months after I had dd2 I still had a slight tummy compared to usual - before dd1 it was almost concave. Dh said of my post dd2 tum, 'That will go, won't it?'
The joke was, he wasn't exactly skinny at the time and his gut was bigger than mine!
But since he was mostly very good I didn't make a thing of it (apart from pointing out that after 2 kids mine was still smaller than his, of course!).

VoldysGoneMouldy · 10/05/2016 16:45

What an absolute bellend. I'm not pregnant (yet) but DH would be in genuine danger of losing his penis if he said something like this.

And my tits are very saggy.

Talk to him, if he's usually not so insensitive.

LaContessaDiPlump · 10/05/2016 16:47

Am I the only person who'd immediately reply to a comment like that (from my DH, of all people) with 'Fuck off'? How rude!

leotwist · 10/05/2016 16:51

I'm with seeyounearerthetime:
When he has a shower, wait till he gets out,
"My isn't your penis tiny really?"
Then carry on about your day.
YANBU.

Classic! [big grin]

JC23 · 10/05/2016 16:56

LaContessa

No you're not! That would be my exact response too.

OP YANBU

shiveringhiccup · 10/05/2016 16:58

Yanbu, agree with all pps that that's most definitely not what you need to hear right now and pretty mean, thoughtless at best! Have a word and make sure he doesn't dismiss you by saying it was just a joke/ banter/ lighthearted/ just popped out. He hurt your feelings and he needs to have a bit of self restraint and not make hurtful comments about your changing body, but instead tell you how amazing and beautiful you are and make you feel lovely.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 10/05/2016 17:02

Another man whose mother failed to beat socialise adequately.

Although I did remark once that DW's post-bf nipples would no longer fit up my nose. /runs away.

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 10/05/2016 17:09

Disgrace 'whose mother failed' Hmm nothing to do with his dad or indeed with his own failure? Just his mothers? And we wonder why there's a thread full of women whose partners have made horrible/rude/insensitive remarks to them while they are GROWING AN ENTIRE FUCKING HUMAN INSIDE OF THEM.

AnyFucker · 10/05/2016 17:14

"That looks like a cock but smaller...."

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 10/05/2016 17:14

The stuff strangers come out with is bad enough but that's thoughtless of your DH. Try one of the suggestions up thread and see how funny he finds it.

MrsKoala · 10/05/2016 17:22

DH and I would still be stood in the bathroom, he unable to move while i give him 'the hairdryer'.

I know you say he didn't mean to be awful, be seriously how insensitive do you have to be to think that comment could be anything but fucking awful?

Tell him and make him understand how you feel and then say sorry. a lot. with presents. expensive ones. grovelling. and maybe some crying.

Charlesroi · 10/05/2016 17:22

Consider yourself lucky that your bollocks are still around your knees. One more comment like that ...

realitybitescake · 10/05/2016 17:22

I hope your baby gets its intelligence from its mother!

RubbishMantra · 10/05/2016 17:31

Disgrace, why would you want your DW's nipples to fit up your nose? Is that a "thing" now? Do you have unusually huge nostrils? Could you not be arsed to pick your own nose, so used your DW's nipples as a substitute? Confused I don't believe nipples were designed for inhaling into nostrils. Perhaps I've been doing something wrong all these years...

Branleuse, I think your comment most appropriate.

JocastaFarquhar · 10/05/2016 17:35

Just look pointedly at his belly (doesn't matter if its ripped) and remark ' gosh you're in competition with me on the wok smuggling stakes aren't you? Whats your excuse? '

MistressMerryWeather · 10/05/2016 17:46

I would have sat on him.

Tell him he has upset you. If he's a nice guy who had a brain fart he will be horrified at his insensitivity and grovel say sorry.

Oh, and I would also like to know what's with the nipple snorting Disgrace?

RubbishMantra · 10/05/2016 17:48

And this got me thinking. Why's it OK for men to have cock & bollocks that look like the last chicken on the shelf that nobody wants, (think snooker balls in a pair of socks), but nooo, they're not commented on for their pertness.

And don't get me started on the body hair. I used to spend too much of my time removing all body hair, except a teeny landing strip. Yet it's acceptable for men to wander around in vests, moobs wobbling, springy hair displayed on shoulders. And don't get me started on hairy arses...

LupoLounger · 10/05/2016 17:48

@Mistress - I'll ask the DW to try it with me later and let you know. I've been trying it on myself all afternoon and it's doing nothing for me.

butteredmuffin · 10/05/2016 17:49

What a dreadful thing to say to someone who is carrying their child and ensuring the continuation of their family tree...