Disgusting surprises in food

[Clandestino]

So after they had deleted a great thread just when it was gaining momentum I sulked a bit.
But why not think about stuff we've eaten and which was hiding some unexpected surprises, would it BU?
I once bit into what I thought was a nice piece of fish while in fact it was a chunk of carp fat. I still smell and taste it. Put me off fish for years.
Bit into a ripe pear as a child. A very pissed off fat worm crawled out. I was half expecting him to start giving out to me.
I can only eat pears halved now and checked for traces of alien protein.

Roast parsnip when you're expecting roast potato

When you cut open a pepper, and it's pregnant with a baby pepper inside

Oh my - had some dip once and it turned out to be tarasamalata (sp?) - it was at a conference and I was boking behind an exhibition stand - yuck, what a nasty surprise!

This is probably a common one, but on holiday DP picked up what he thought were onion rings from the buffet. They were squid. Once he realised what they were he said they were 'alright' though.

MaudGonneMad I like seeing that!

When I was around 15 I bought a slice of quiche from the Deli counter of a supermarket.
Found a matted ball.of public ( I think ) hair in it. Around 3cm in diameter.
Took it back they thanked me for letting them know! No refund etc!

I was eating a pizza from a supermarket & found not a small bone
I complained and they investigated it, they admitted it was an "animal bone ......pretty sure I ate mouse pizza that day

Public hair

I once opened a can of tuna and it wasn't . It was some kind of green slimy stuff

This was the size of the thing!!!

Had chinese with a bit of plastic in it
Nearly ate a maggot in cereal
Found endless amounts of hair espcially on pizzas
Certain i have eaten rat before at an indian takeaway because whatever it was it wasnt lamb, it had very small arterys attached to it.
Certain i ate a mc d burger with i think cum in it whatever it was caused me to instantly spit it back out

Arteries

Was in Budapest once with DH and purchased this amazing looking pastry which looked exactly like a cream horn. It was on a cake stall and not knowing the language, we assumed it was a sweet pastry filled with cream.
Bit into it and it was the strongest tasting cheese filling, hot gooey like melted cheese
Cheese when you're expecting cream is not pleasant!

Crawling Worms in fresh cod from Tesco.
I phoned up & had a rant at them. Some chap turned up on a motor bike to collect evidence.
I was told cod worm was normal.
DH found elastic bands in crab cakes in a restaurant.

This thread is how I plan on sticking to my diet this month...

Boak, boak, boak!!!

I once had a 'healthy' ready meal -steamed chicken and veg. But in to broccoli and there were hundreds of tiny black flies on it. Still haven't eaten a ready meal from that supermarket again.

Many years ago, as a student, I was eating tinned chick peas straight from the can in the semi darkness, and I thought they tasted a bit weird. I switched the light on to discover they were full of maggots I was immediately very sick, and never bought that brand again.

I was going to say scampi when you expect chicken nuggets but that seems a bit lame after pube pizza

What was the deleted thread?

A button battery at the bottom of a iced caramel latte from Costa. Good job that wasn't swallowed.

I once found a snail (dead) in my own brand frozen peas. The supermarket in question sent a courier to collect the peas (and snail) along with a voucher.

Deep-fried beetle in chips (school dinners)

What was the deleted thread?

Beetroot chunks... in a chocolate cake. No sign on the label saying it was chocolate and beetroot. And it was in chunks like chocolate chips as opposed to pureed.

Sticky toffee pudding with dates in!! WHO PUTS SLIMY SHIT IN INCREDIBLE CAKE?!

Funny you mention snails as I found one of those little ones you see on beaches in a pot of jam once.

Also, a MASSIVE dead blue bottle in a bowl of soup at a very rustic Spanish hotel. It was gross and I sent it back. They brought out another bowl of the soup and I found either the same blue bottle or its twin. I went ape but there is only so much you can shout and rant when no one speaks any English. After a while I skulked off - starving - to eat mini bar Pringles.

Sausage in a department store breakfast with blue plastic in it!

And those rancid muffins in Costa that have a gooey centre- I bit through the middle of one of those and ended up with the raspberry sauce over my chin. It didn't even taste nice!

I was told cod worm was normal.

It honestly honestly is