Disgusting surprises in food

[Clandestino]

So after they had deleted a great thread just when it was gaining momentum I sulked a bit.
But why not think about stuff we've eaten and which was hiding some unexpected surprises, would it BU?
I once bit into what I thought was a nice piece of fish while in fact it was a chunk of carp fat. I still smell and taste it. Put me off fish for years.
Bit into a ripe pear as a child. A very pissed off fat worm crawled out. I was half expecting him to start giving out to me.
I can only eat pears halved now and checked for traces of alien protein.

at the infamous mouse loaf
I remember a colleague being a bit swotty and doing some studying at the lunchtable in readiness for an upcoming food hygiene exam. She had her ham sandwich in hand and turned the page mid-bite; was presented with that picture; and nearly sprayed the boss, who was sitting opposite, with a half chewed mouthful

I remember as a kid, my mum complaining about a mouldy loaf. One of the head guys from Mother's Pride came out with an apology, a hamper of baked goods & either a cheque or a supermarket voucher (this was about 30 years ago, so can't remember exactly lol)

Turns out they had upped production to cover an upcoming bank holiday weekend and the loaves had been packaged before they had been sufficiently cooled.

Oh, RE: sticky toffee pudding - it always has dates in, they are what makes it rich & sticky and gives it it's colour. The secret is to soak them overnight in boiling water with a teaspoon of bicarb, then finely chop/blitz them before stirring through the batter.

Opened a pack of Normandy butter to find embedded in it a huge complete mosquito type creature, it must have landed on the butter just as it was packaged.
The supermarked were very good with a refund, and I've noticed they don't stock that brand any more, so I can't have been the only one to complain.

Years ago I found a huge, rusty blade in a loaf of bread. More recently, I bit into a bone chip in cold meat, broke a tooth and had to have root canal surgery and a new tooth

A timely thread.

I've just tried my first (and last) Tesco Mango and Blueberry Breakfast Pot. What a disgusting item that is. There's a bit of fruit in the top, that's ok, then some yoghurt that's been destroyed, the texture totally messed up, with bulgur wheat and quinoa, then some nasty fruity slime at the bottom.

Horrible.

Years ago I bought a bar of chocolate at the bus station on my way to school, I found a fly beautifully compressed into the back of my bar of Dairy Milk. I have no idea why I turned the bar over that day before I ate it, but I'm very glad I did!!

Years ago I was eating some supermarket fresh bbq chicken wings, you know like the summer bbq range that go in the oven I had been buying them for weeks really liked them for some reason I pulled a bit of skin off one before eating it and underneath the chicken was green the hole lot was like this I actually vomited.

Ive never been able to eat bbq chicken wings since and have to pull the skin of all chickens to check the colour underneath.

Just to specify, the deleted thread(s) refer to those about letting yourself go in a long-term relationship and successive derailing complaint thread which were deliciously hijacked by posters who were sick of the goady troll who started them.
Boak at those posts. I'm not sure I will ever be able to eat a cod without imagining worms crawling out.

Bit in to a Montego bar in the early 80s (remember them?).

Baked in to the biscuit was a cigarette but. I had to spit it out. Sent it off the the makers and got a box of chocolate bars back (thankfully no Montegos!).

These days I'd be sad faced in the local paper, suing them for thousands for PTSD.

A human fingernail tip in a Rollo. Ragged, like it had been ripped off, and the same size as my little fingernail, so most likely a woman's.

Nakd bars are notorious for having hairs in them - check the Twitter page for how many people have complained

I have no idea how they have such terrible h&s standards!

DD loved 'I can cook' Katy and wanted to make surprise eggs where you take a boiled egg scoop out the yolk mix it with chives and put it back in - voila a tasty party snack

However DD is an experimental cook and we didn't have chives ( and she was 4) so she mixed the yolk with cheese string chocolate strawberry yoghurt and some grass. That was a definite surprise egg!

I was given a fruit juice drink at a show recently. Took one mouthful and nearly spat it out - it was like frogspawn. Turns out the company thought adding chia seeds to fruit juice was an excellent idea. Drinks you have to chew are bad in my book.

A spider in a tin of peas. Spoke to the customer service people at the manufacturer who sent out special bags for me to send everything back to them. Later received an apology for the 'manufacturing issue' and some vouchers.

MooseAndSquirrel that bone is too big to be a mouse bone.
More like a chicken bone, from a wing maybe. Not even a rat bone, I'd say and I saw a few in my life.

SwearyGodmother, that sounds a bit like bubble tea which I've seen springing up over the last few years.

It's fruit tea/juice with added tapioca pearls in it. It looks like frogspawn. I thought I'd said goodbye to that stuff when I stopped having school dinners.

SilverBirch - we used to make raspberry jam with the raspberries from our garden. Washed them thoroughly, chucked them in the preserving pan, and as it heated up, lots of maggots rose to the top. We started to fish them out, but there were too many, so we just stirred them back in and made the jam anyway.

Pasta used to get weevils a lot when I lived in West Africa. Easily disguised with a good sized spoonful of mixed herbs.

Not exactly along the line of what has come before but I bit into what I thought was a potato croquette.

It was a banana fritter.

Chocolate chip cookies or muffins or anything like that and realising it's a raisin

My dh made me scrambled eggs for breakfast and proudly said he put a secret ingredient in it. It was strawberry yoghurt. I still can't eat scrambled eggs or strawberry yoghurt.

I remember a documentary about fishermen in the North Sea and one of them saying they never ate cod because it was infested with worms. I thought, if he's not eating it neither am I!

My dh made me scrambled eggs for breakfast and proudly said he put a secret ingredient in it. It was strawberry yoghurt.

Was he pregnant at the time?

My Mum had them same problem with damsons as a pp mentioned above. She got three crops from her tree, every single one had a worm in it, despite spraying at the right time of year. The tree is now gone.
I remember getting a cold drink at a bowling alley once, and being a little surprised that one of the ice cubes had not melted. Turns out it was the plastic nozzle from the machine. Ooops.
My Mum bought a piece of quiche from a market stall once at a fete and it contained 1) a whole peanut which would have been pretty disastrous had she had an allergy, but thankfully she doesn't and 2) a paperclip.
My worst experience was school camp, back in 1992. Back before H&S really kicked off in schools. The teachers made a lot of the food and as most of them buggered off down the pub every evening, they were usually all fairly hung over during the day so standards were poor. We had "pink pudding" one day that contained the hugest black hairy fly I have ever seen. Most of us came back from school camp miserable and hungry as most of the food was inedible.
I also find Japanese food to be a bit high on the "surprise!" food list. You pick something that looks lovely and elegant and it's got a massive lump of wasabi in the middle. Aaaah! My Dad described a Japanese buffet he went to a food roulette as it went - nice food, very nice food, ooh lovely food - AAAGH wasabi!

I was eating a pack of Rolos one day and bit into one and noted it had no filling, I inspected it and found three fat ants inside (I'm hoping I didn't eat the fourth and fifth) .... they'd obviously ODed on the caramel that was missing from the inside.

My nan made us dinner as kids.

Our very-boiled cauliflower came with a free very-boiled caterpillar...
I nearly didn't see it!

I found a ragged thumbnail in a sandwich I had made myself once. Still don't know if it was in the cheese, bread or pickle.

I used to work in catering. I could tell you stories to make your hair curl! (Soap pad in someone's soup and covered with cheese instead of a crouton for example...)