Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

prizes at school driving me mad

81 replies

80schild · 15/04/2016 18:31

This is the first time I have posted about a matter as sensitive as this but here goes. In the past at DC school they have quite frequently asked for things like treasure maps, castles to be made and it is quite obvious that some of the kids get their parents to do it for them - usually it doesn't bother me. However, recently it was announced there was an egg decorating competition. DS, only having just turned 7, spent ages on his. It smudged a bit but I was really impressed by his effort. I took his entry in today and lo and behold there was a splendid array of entries that had clearly been done by parents.

I need to get perspective on this because it is winding me up. I am trying to teach my child the value of doing things for himself but all I know for sure is that the reward won't be his (at least for the next few years). I want to know what other people think about this sort of thing - I am losing all perspective over it.

OP posts:
redskytonight · 15/04/2016 18:35

Sensible schools award the prizes to items that are obviously made by the DC themselves (which is how DD won the Reception Easter bonnet prize, with a box covered in feathers and random pieces of felt).

Unfortunately not all schools are sensible.

Depends whether you want to jump on the pushy parent band wagon or not.

Osmiornica · 15/04/2016 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
80schild · 15/04/2016 18:54

Lol at the thought of doing it at 815. Maybe I shouldn't assume that it will be a case of best in show. I have just assumed it would be this way.

OP posts:
Onlyicanclean10 · 15/04/2016 19:00

No agree it's ridiculous. Sensible schools choose the ones obviously child made but with the effort there.

I would mention it to the parent governor and point out how daft it makes the school look.

Mishaps · 15/04/2016 19:02

It is crazy - there should be a rule that only items made by the the children themselves are eligible.

selly24 · 15/04/2016 19:08

Instructions from school should emphasise that they want to see the children's own work. And while parents may want to support their children giving ideas, preparing resources, the work must not be the parents' Hate to see things so obviously done by the parents.

Original poster
80schild · 15/04/2016 19:13

I would struggle to bring it with the parent governor as although she is a really good friend she is one of the worst offenders.

OP posts:
ollieplimsoles · 15/04/2016 19:40

Oh goodness I remember this, one mother did a huge hand painted egg display called 'the warren' and inside all the eggs were dressed and painted as bunnies. It was ridiculous.

Maki79 · 15/04/2016 19:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the posters request.

TimeOfGlass · 15/04/2016 19:54

DS1's school did the egg decorating competition so that the eggs had to be decorated in school.

Parents could help the children think of themes, and provide the egg and any accessory bits (paint and felt tips provided by school), but this meant all the actual decorating was done by the children.

herecomethepotatoes · 16/04/2016 05:15

You're doing the right thing. Forget about it. Maybe give him a prize at home (ice cream etc).

Mistigri · 16/04/2016 06:33

I would struggle to bring it with the parent governor as although she is a really good friend she is one of the worst offenders

That's pretty damning.

You probably need to get used to ridiculous competitiveness though, as English education seems to be going through some sort of collective, stress-induced breakdown at the moment, based on recent posts on MN.

But it doesn't need to be like this. Where we live, the only things that parents make and send in are cakes for the school fundraisers!

gruffalo13 · 16/04/2016 06:44

Yes. It happened at our school this Easter too. My DD was upset that her egg wasn't as pretty and elaborate as some (no prizes awarded)
One of the mums did a birds nest made of moss with flowers in it. She's a florist and it was a work of art.
I think it was obvious to most parents who had done the eggs, but the children didn't know - they are only 5! I'm torn between helping next time, or just letting her get on with it. Fwiw she enjoyed making her egg, was just bemused by the ravishing eggs some of the other girls brought along!

KoalaDownUnder · 16/04/2016 06:45

That's beyond bizarre.

My mum is very artistic and would help us with ideas for things like that, but certainly never did it for us. Pointless and silly!

gruffalo13 · 16/04/2016 06:45

herecomes prize at home is a great idea Smile

RidersOnTheStorm · 16/04/2016 06:59

By the age of 7 both DCs could do better than I ever could.

greenfolder · 16/04/2016 07:04

I dole out prizes to my youngest dd often.. It takes moments to knock up a certificate on a computer. Her school is pretty sensible though and rewards kids efforts not parents

AugustaFinkNottle · 16/04/2016 07:07

There should be more than one parent governor - try one of the others? Or join the parent teacher association so you can discuss it there?

AuntieMaryHadACanary · 16/04/2016 07:08

At the school I work in, the Headteacher will only award prizes to those most obviously done by the child, she'll even tell the children this in an assembly beforehand, and tells the children if their grown up tries to help them, they have to say no!
Yes we do still get a few immaculate ones but they don't win a prize.
I think your school needs to have a rethink of its approach to this.

TheSolitaryWanderer · 16/04/2016 07:10

'Oh goodness I remember this, one mother did a huge hand painted egg display called 'the warren' and inside all the eggs were dressed and painted as bunnies. It was ridiculous.'

No, that's spectacular ollie!
They ought to have an additional prize for parental hubris and ostentatious arseholery.

TheSolitaryWanderer · 16/04/2016 07:12

As a teacher, it's interesting when you talk to the children about how they made it, and they say 'Mummy let me put on the spots and then she moved them into the right place' or 'Daddy let me hold the glue'

curren · 16/04/2016 07:16

I think most schools discount the ones most obviously done by parents.

Da won this year. It wasn't great. It was a superhero. Bit of drawing with a pen, some stick on eyes and a cape.

He even beat 'the Incredible Hulk' egg. Where the legs, arms and head were fashioned out of papier-mâché and absolutely life like. Perfect shading for the muscles etc. It looked great but clearly not made by a four year old.

Bunnyjo · 16/04/2016 07:34

At my DC's school they get parents to bring in undecorated hard-boiled eggs and the children decorate them at school. This is a far better idea and removes any uncertainty as to whose work it is.

DD (8yo) got 2nd prize this year which was a small miracle surprise, as she will readily admit that art, craft and creativity are not her strong points!

CodyKing · 16/04/2016 07:46

Unfortunately at DC school the children pick the winners

Ultimately it goes to the bully child who insists people vote for them.

The school then take no responsibility for prizes.

My kids now don't bother with this "homework" so have switched off - nice one!!

AuntieStella · 16/04/2016 08:00

Our primary had something that accidentally became a rite of passage for parents - it was a half term 'make a model of a castle'

The teacher had started it as a benign homework, but it was rapidly colonised by parent-made items, and he used to giggle about this and kept it going year on year specifically because of the effect on parents. He wanted to give a 'best adult input' award, but was overruled. But the 'best model' awards always went to a clearly child-made version (sometimes Lego)

Swipe left for the next trending thread