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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to throw an un-birthday party?

65 replies

tryhard · 13/04/2016 06:58

You know, like in Alice in Wonderland?

The context here is poor DS2 is a Christmas Day baby, so far (he's 2), it's not mattered at all but as he gets older I'm sure it'll suck. I've realised that last year I already buying him fewer presents than his big brother (who has a summer birthday) because ofcourse all of his presents come at once so it seems like he gets loads. DS1 has all the anticipation of both events, birthday & Christmas, DS2 gets his birthday over-shadowed every year.

Anyway, I've heard of children with Christmas birthdays having a summer party as well, and I'm wondering if I would be being totally unreasonable to go the whole hog & do it as an un-birthday party with a cake, singing happy birthday & presents? Would that just be weird?

OP posts:
AuntJane · 13/04/2016 07:05

A childhood friend of mine (birthday 22 December) always had a joint party on her brother's birthday party in June.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/04/2016 07:22

If one of my ds friends had this I'd think it's weird and grabby tbh. It might seem like he's getting less because of when his birthday falls but he's still getting plenty of presents I assume? I certainly wouldn't be buying a birthday present for a kid in summer, who's birthday is in December because his mum wants him to have more presents.

LisaRinnasLips · 13/04/2016 07:25

Good idea! My ds is a Christmas Day baby too.

Last year we did a big party on the 1st December and everyone came with lots of presents and he got lots on Christmas Day too.

We're thinking of throwing him a half birthday on 25th June (which is my birthday)

merrymouse · 13/04/2016 07:25

It's only grabby if you also have a birthday party in December and expect presents from guests at both.

Original poster
tryhard · 13/04/2016 07:26

Oh god no please don't misunderstand me - what I'm thinking is just me giving presents in the summer, not anyone else, and then saving a big present for his actual birthday at Christmas. When he reaches school age, I'd do a party at the start of December for him & friends, I wouldn't be expecting 2 sets of presents from other people for goodness sake! I definitely bought him less last year as it felt like I was already getting lots because of Christmas, so I was thinking of saving the majority of the presents for the summer and having something like a family BBQ with cake. Previous poster, how cynical of you! 😱

OP posts:
scarednoob · 13/04/2016 07:27

paul to be fair, OP doesn't say that other people have to buy presents then - they could just be from her and family.

I think it's a bit odd and confusing for a child to have a party 6 months before or after their birthday, to be honest. I would go with a date nearer Christmas Day (and book people up well in advance).

ShoutyMcShoutShout · 13/04/2016 07:27

Growing up I had friends who were twins and their birthday was christmas day. They hated it. They would get joint birthday christmas gifts and they would have joint twin presents.

They both chose a random day in the year separately so they could enjoy their birthday celebrations with having to share it with christmas or each other. It worked well for them.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/04/2016 07:27

In your opinion merry. I think it's grabby to hold a birthday 6 months earlier to ensure your child gets more presents. Especially since presents aren't a given on birthdays and shouldn't be expected. Unless the OP is literally meaning her giving him presents? That's different.

mouldycheesefan · 13/04/2016 07:28

X you friends do this for their Xmas baby. They have a summer garden party.

scarednoob · 13/04/2016 07:28

You could still have a summer BBQ and children's party though. They'd love that without it needing to be tied to his birthday Smile

sooperdooper · 13/04/2016 07:31

I think it's a great idea, I wouldn't think it was grabby or that you were expecting double presents! Tbh as he gets older I bet a lot of people would do a joint birthday & christmas present anyway, it's just hard to remember birthdays at that time of year and people are just busy with Christmas stuff.

If my birthday was that close to Christmas I'd definitely do it! A summer bbq sounds great :)

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/04/2016 07:32

You need to be a cynic these days! Apologies for the misunderstanding though! Just one thing though: perhaps he had less presents because he was still a baby?! The whole things not my cup of tea tbh, especially if it's just for a couple of years when he wouldn't really know the difference. Or are you talking about a party in summer, birthday party at the start of December and then Happy birthday and a present on Christmas day for the forseeable future? Because that would then be three things, would your older child not find that unfair?

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 13/04/2016 07:32

I think just make a point of his birthday when his birthday actually is, seperate christmas and his birthday i think a summer thing too is a bit daft and confusing

merrymouse · 13/04/2016 07:33

I don't see a problem with having a summer party as well as or instead of a winter party - alot of party activities rely on relatively good weather. I think children who are old enough to understand the concept of birthdays can understand that you can have a party when it isn't your birthday.

Bagatelle1 · 13/04/2016 07:36

I think it's a great idea. I have a Christmas birthday and felt very overlooked as a child as a result. I would have loved a Summer celebration instead.

AvaLeStrange · 13/04/2016 07:37

Brilliant idea - one of DDs friends had one a few years ago - they had family with a farm and held a mini festival for the class with circus skills workshop, face painting, pony rides and a BBQ (all friends helping out so not as extravagant as it sounds). They specified why they were doing it and 'no gifts please' on the invites - it was really lovely.

GinIsIn · 13/04/2016 07:43

I'm a Christmas baby and when I was a child my birthday was miserable. Nobody comes to your birthday party because they are all too busy with Christmas things, people don't remember to send cards or just scrawl a line in the family Christmas card, and yes the presents are rubbish but that's not what it's about, it's about Christmas birthdays often being quite lonely, and having no other festivities to break up the year.

A summer party is a great idea, and paul has no idea what they are talking about.

whois · 13/04/2016 07:43

If one of my ds friends had this I'd think it's weird and grabby tbh

Don't be such a misery guts!

I don't think it's grabby having a family party in the summer.

I'm a winter baby and we never went down the 2 birthday party route but mum and dad didn't make me wait for my birthday for 'big' things such as bikes that are much more suited to be bought and used in the summer for a growing child.

whois · 13/04/2016 07:45

Especially since presents aren't a given on birthdays and shouldn't be expected

Seriously? I think 99.9% in the Uk of children expect some sort of fuss and gift on their birthday, quite rightly.

HPsauciness · 13/04/2016 07:48

I know someone who held an Alice in Wonderland themed party in June for her dd who had a Christmas birthday, it was great fun. It was a bit odd when I asked 'so when's your birthday?' to the little girl, because I didn't know she had a Christmas birthday, but a party's a party.

A special day out with family could be another way to go if you don't want to do the whole party/friends thing.

BieneBiene · 13/04/2016 07:49

YANBU! I have a Christmas birthday and it is really shit. I would have loved a fake summer birthday while growing up.

Wizzles · 13/04/2016 07:51

My friend's DD is a Christmas baby & has had an "unbirthday" party every year on her half birthday. She has a party, cake & presents exactly as she would on a real birthday.

I think it's a lovely idea.

MattDillonsPants · 13/04/2016 07:53

I also think it would be nice if you celebrated his birthday as a family on Christmas Eve with a special tea etc and cards and all that...then it's not overshadowed on the morning as much.

On the big day, he can have birthday cake still...I personally think it's very special being born on Christmas Day.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/04/2016 07:55

whois perhaps that's why there are so many spoiled children. Yeah from mum and dad, it shouldn't be expected from others. In any case the op clarified the present thing (I had taken 'go the whole hog & do it as an un-birthday party with a cake, singing happy birthday & presents' as, well, what it said) and I apologised for my error, before you even posted that.

PixieChops · 13/04/2016 07:59

I'm all for this. I was born on the 2nd January and since being little, people have forgotten my birthday, I was never bothered about presents, just an acknowledgement would've been nice! If my mum would've had an "unbirthday" for me I would've been so happy. I think it's a lovely idea and not grabby at all (hate that phrase Hmm)
People who do not have a Christmas/ new year birthday may not understand but in hindsight if my babies were Xmas babies I would definitely pinch your idea Wink