to throw an un-birthday party?

[tryhard]

You know, like in Alice in Wonderland?

The context here is poor DS2 is a Christmas Day baby, so far (he's 2), it's not mattered at all but as he gets older I'm sure it'll suck. I've realised that last year I already buying him fewer presents than his big brother (who has a summer birthday) because ofcourse all of his presents come at once so it seems like he gets loads. DS1 has all the anticipation of both events, birthday & Christmas, DS2 gets his birthday over-shadowed every year.

Anyway, I've heard of children with Christmas birthdays having a summer party as well, and I'm wondering if I would be being totally unreasonable to go the whole hog & do it as an un-birthday party with a cake, singing happy birthday & presents? Would that just be weird?

Helen what exactly is wrong with saying children shouldn't expect presents from people other than their parents?!

Because you didn;t say that - you just said they shouldn't expect gifts, full stop. Anyway I think ti is probably quite normal to 'expect' some kind of card or gift from your grand parents, or siblings, aunts/uncles etc if you are close to them.

That's exactly what I said...

Especially since presents aren't a given on birthdays and shouldn't be expected. Unless the OP is literally meaning her giving him presents? That's different.

Well this is embarrassing... Perhaps actually check the original post before trying to imply someone is lying? In fact, looking back, it was you who initially quoted my post and chose to miss out the last sentence, so I'd assume you realised it was there?

Weird...

What I find sad is that people are suggesting that if your child has an xmas day birthday, you should move it and have a family meal/cake/etc the day before or after. Why not move christmas? Celebrate it on the 24th or 26th and let the child have the 25th as their day. Why should it be the birthday that is moved?

Both my children (now grown up) have a birthday very soon after Christmas.

I used to have a summer garden party for them (loads of friends round, barbecue, picnic on the lawn, games etc - lasting all day) - No presents from guests (I never called it a birthday party) but I would get the kids some summer garden toys each year that they could share - sand pit, wheelbarrow and garden tools, climbing frame etc etc. - that type of stuff otherwise everything came all at once and they never got any toys that they could play with in nice weather.

Wildfire because when they get to an age where they want parties like everyone else in their class you'd be pretty hard stretched to find other parents wanting to give up their Christmas Day so their child can attend your child's birthday party. Plus all the venues children want to go to to keep up with their peers will be closed as well.
If you're talking about a little family party then that's different but there comes an age where they want parties with their friends there.

Also if you do a birthday party say a week before but decide to save the presents until the day so they can have their moment on their day then it's a bit crap for them to have a birthday party and be given gifts but not be allowed to open them for a week.

I've got a dc and nice with December birthdays. I've thought about doing a summer party instead of one in December but she always wants it for her actual birthday. We have a budget for birthday presents for each dc and a budget for their party so they all get the same spent. We put money aside through the year as we have loads of family birthdays between November and February.

I've always made sure her birthday is celebrated separately to Christmas and that she gets no joint Christmas and birthday presents.

When she's older if she wants something that's very expensive then she'll get the option of a joint present but that will be her choice and not ours. I also wait till a few days after her birthday to put any Christmas cards up.

Fwiw she thinks it great that the house is always decorated for her birthday.

If you want to have your ds's party in the summer rather than December then go for it. I can't see how it's any more grabby to have his party a few months after his birthday rather than the week of his birthday.

I would celebrate the half birthday, very clearly, on all invitations etc. and have the child's birthday party then.

"to celebrate James' 6.5 birthday on 25th June, we are holding a party on ....."

I also think I would do main family presents in June too, but cards and token present at Christmas.

I think a summer party is a lovely idea. I know a family whose DC both had December/January birthdays, and they had small family celebrations for their birthdays and threw a joint summer party. It wasn't branded as their birthday celebration - just as a "X & Y's summer party" - held at a local cricket club, siblings etc invited and parents welcomed to stay - bouncy castle, huge unruly game of cricket organised and umpired by assorted fathers, everyone who offered was asked to bring something specific so all chipped in with catering. We did, in fact, take token presents but not everyone did and they were certainly not expected.

We threw a summer party for dd, whose birthday is the day after Boxing Day. No mention of birthdays at all, although one guest did bring a gift which surprised me greatly. I spoke to the mum afterward and she said she figured that we were throwing the party due to the time of year of dd's birthday so wanted to bring a gift. That was nice of her. :)

My daughter was born on Christmas Day. We celebrate on the 25th December (as that's her birthday!) and she's had a non-birthday party in the summer the past two years. On Christmas Day itself, she typically opens Christmas presents in the morning and birthday presents in the afternoon. We have a 'birthday room' which is free of anything festive but has presents, a cake and balloons etc - just like any other child's birthday. We don't do joint Christmas/birthday presents and if anyone wraps a present in Christmas paper, we re-wrap it! We make the day as special as we can because although it's Christmas, it's still her birthday.

Having a party in December was alright when she was small but it's not an ideal time for anyone. You get more drop outs late December and early December isn't close enough to her actual birthday. So far she's had two amazing unbirthday parties in the garden (June/July time) with a BBQ, funny games, cake and goody bags. It's a great way to get everyone together especially as the days are longer. Her friends bring presents if they want to but it's certainly not necessary (family buy presents for her actual birthday). The focus is making sure she gets a proper party with her friends and an entire day devoted to her.

There are a couple of recent posts on my parent blog about it below if that helps. I'd definitely recommend the unbirthday route though. Although my daughter is only five she's old enough to know it's pretty awesome to have two very different birthday celebrations :)
www.podcastdove.com/2016/01/01/combining-a-birthday-with-christmas/
www.podcastdove.com/2015/12/14/why-christmas-day-birthdays-are-awesome/

What is it with the competitive puritanical parsimony on mumsnet?!

I did this for ds one year because his birthday is close to Christmas. Honestly, it was confusing for him and expensive. Because by the time his real birthday rolled around...I wasn't going to not get him anything.

If anything, I would move their party to early December and celebrate with a party but then do gifts on their real birthday. But I know it sucks, my dh is a new years baby and he hates it. But it's something they are just going to have to suck up IMO.

First world problem. Plenty of people have had their birthday on Christmas Day and it's not been the end of the world. Changing birthdays is really ridiculous. His birthday is in December, keep it that way.

I've always sent my nieces and nephew 'unbirthday presents', mainly because i would hate to forget one's birthday and send something to another later in the year.

It meant when they were younger they all got something on a random day.

I had an unbirthday party in the summer for DD just because we wanted to do an outdoor party for a change (she is late October). Then had tiny party on the day.

I specifically said on invitations that there was no need to buy her presents as it was not her birthday. She was happy with me saying this as quite mature 7. And you get the added bonus of not filling your house with loads of crap.

I also said this when friends threw me a baby shower, i.e not to bring presents.