...to hate the term 'alpha male'?

[Tabsicle]

It drives me irrationally insane.

Humans are not wolves! No man, even if he works in the city, is responsible for forging his team into a lean, mean, hunting machine, bringing down deer with lethal precision using only their teeth and claws.

Nonsense evolutionary pop psychology at its worst.

You can tell it's Easter and I have time on my hands, right?

I call myself an alpha female because of my personality type.

I Think you are taking the word too literally.

I think it's quite fitting sometimes, and I don't see it as any sort of compliment!

yes

I find it irritating too and I wouldn't use it as a compliment - it's the kind of thing overly bossy men use about themselves, usually a know it all type who actually don't know a lot

I just think it's a bollocks term, used both as a compliment (which is what triggered me recently. Someone explaining that she only dates alpha males. She then used the term 'beta male' in all seriousness) and as an insult.

I just think it is a bit like saying "I'm a natural Sagittarius".

I think it's used by some to excuse them from being a complete dickhead.

There used to be someone in forums years ago who always described her husband as this and it was quite smug and annoying.

However we are not so unlike animals. Ib love watching people and can see the power battle between dp and teen ds, ds has to take to Knockback to realise that he is not elevated in position just because he has testosterone surging about.

For some individuals (male and female) it is a very accurate description of their personality type

What term would you prefer people to use?

It's up there with star signs.
Therefore IMO yanbu.

I think the term came from wolves and that knowledge of wolf pack dynamics has improved and chucked the simple concept in the bin.

I've always seen the term Alpha as a polite way of describing a total tosser.

'Alpha' means 'dick'. A one-trick dominant twat. Usually with money, but often just the kind of prick people naturally move away from, and who are only around by dint of circumstance. That is not the same as being the best, competent, friendly, socially successful, intelligent, creative, interesting, charismatic etc etc.

Anyone self-styling as 'alpha' are just problematic nightmares. 'Alphas' are normally completely unaware that they are mostly ineffective.

You see them trying to boss people around in the wrong direction, trying to 'win' even normal social interactions, who goes through the door first, who has the biggest or most expensive pen, the strongest coffee etc etc..but never for any other reason than to better others. They attach rank to things out of kilter with everyone else and turn workplaces into misery.

But they think 'Alpha" sounds better than any other letter so they fake everything about themselves that isn't twatty so that people think they are all alpha. They actually encourage the worst most ineffective behaviour in others, so they can feel better. If they can't encourage it, they pretend it's happening anyway. They undermine, damage, lie even to themselves, and are such a nuisance to be around, they should never be employed.

They of course think they are brilliant.

I usually read 'alpha' for sociopath.
Ha ha I know what you mean!

It depends on your definition of an alpha male of course, but certainly I'm not attracted to swaggering, laddy-lad, self assured to the point of stupidity types of men. They are always infallible experts on whatever they choose to bump their gums about while having the listening and learning skills of a brick.

Interesting article in Psychology Today

I don’t use the term as a compliment for either sex.

Yanbu. Alpha male is usually code for 'dickhead with a base personality'. It's used by others to make excuses for the 'alpha' male bossiness, sexist 'banter' etc

I use the term 'blown egg' meaning someone who is all shell and no substance when you meet an 'alpha' with no actual ability. There is a thread on here about a former NHS manager who seems to be doing restructuring and redundancy without knowing anything about employment law, redundancy planning, role planning or workload. He is a 'blown egg'. A lot of 'alphas' are blown eggs.

Davina calls her dh an alpha, its just an excuse for him to be a shit.

Hmm, yes, I think it could be used as an excuse for someone who is selfish and inconsiderate.
But being selfish might help you get to the top in some professions.
But talking-the-talk is probably the best requirement for getting to the top.

Having worked mainly with men in previous roles some were clearly far more capable than the others. They had good insight and cracked on with things and those were the ones that I would call alpha. If you weren't sure about something they were the ones you'd ask for advice.

Others were full of waffle and were frankly a bit more lazy and less driven. Not alpha.

VoyageofDad - yes I agree it usually means sociopath or total tosser if you refer.

There was a poster on here who was hugely proud that her DH was an 'alpha', she saw it as a massive compliment to both him and her. Whereas to everyone else he sounded like an utter dick, but that was alright because be was an 'alpha'.

Our knowledge of pack dynamics has moved past it now, and alpha is just short hand for arrogant tosser.

I've never taken the word to mean anything twatish, I've always seen it more as just a descriptive way of saying that someone is a stereotypical male or female, like that person fits the old traditional societal expectation of their gender. Neither an insult or a compliment, just a description.

I think people may be reading too much into it.

I'm an alpha male.

It's just a discription.