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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about birthday cake

69 replies

NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 18:31

Dd's birthday is on Saturday and we are having a Peppa Pig party at our local soft play. All we have to provide is the cake.

My SIL immediately offered to buy the cake despite our protests when the party was first arranged in January.

She has mentioned it a few times and we kept saying we don't mind if we go and buy it to make it clear they don't have to. I even mentioned I saw a perfect cake in sainsburys (it was daddy pigs car)

Got a phone call and they have bought her.....a frozen cake. I am so wound up, probably unreasonably so. I'm just annoyed in the fact that I even said I saw the perfect cake so I'll buy it and they simply said what is it and oh we will get that one then. I even showed them it!!

So wibu to go out and buy this cake myself and serve that one at the party or do I have to grin and bear it?

OP posts:
ditavonteesed · 24/03/2016 18:32

you grin and besr it.

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 24/03/2016 18:33

Yanbu buy the PP cake and serve that one.

Pommes · 24/03/2016 18:33

Buy the cake yourself. Eat Frozen cake on her actual birthday at home.

Pinkheart5915 · 24/03/2016 18:37

I'd but the peppa pig cake for the party, have the frozen cake at home

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 18:38

I already have a chocolate cake to serve Saturday morning for mil to celebrate Dd birthday and see her blow her candles out.

(Dispute going on in the family at the moment and MIL doesn't want to come to party in case SIL creates a scene with her)

OP posts:
NantucketNightbird · 24/03/2016 18:40

I would have to buy the peppa pig cake.

Mrscog · 24/03/2016 18:40

YANBU, although were you assertive enough? Did you leave any room for freedom? Unless you said 'Oh thanks SIL, that's so kind, it's a PP party so it must be a Peppa one please', then it leaves her wriggle room.

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 18:42

No she knew it was a peppa pig party and that we wanted a peppa pig cake. Which is why I showed her the cake and said that one is perfect and she said that she would buy that one.
M

OP posts:
Evabeaversprotege · 24/03/2016 18:43

No, buy her the peppa one!

Vintage45 · 24/03/2016 18:44

You said "they didn't have to" not don't. You're annoyed? OMG over a bloody cake!

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 24/03/2016 18:44

Buy the Pepa Pig cake.

It's your daughter's birthday & your SIL is being a twat.

Vintage45 · 24/03/2016 18:45

Have 2 cakes?

MrsLion · 24/03/2016 18:46

Go and buy the cake you want and serve that one. Be gracious about the frozen one and suggest it's eaten at home with family.

You need to be clearer in the future:

"Thank you for the offer, but I am buying the cake"

Saying you 'don't mind buying the cake' just isn't clear enough for some people. My MIL used to do things like this all the time.

I had to get very blunt, yet polite.

silverdrawers · 24/03/2016 18:46

Buy the Peppa cake, your SIL is a twat

OneLove10 · 24/03/2016 18:47

Use the frozen cake for home, and buy the one you want for the party. Just be very clear next time. Hope your dd has a lovely birthday.

Ameliablue · 24/03/2016 18:49

Is Sil likely to cause a scene about the cake. I'd still get the Peppa one though and tell her DD has her heart set on the Peppa one.

Vintage45 · 24/03/2016 18:50

Buy the Peppa and put both out. Explain that it was themed and thank SIL for her kindness.

Pinkheart5915 · 24/03/2016 18:51

she knew it was a peppa pig party so buy the peppa pig cake.
If sil says anythind say I did say it was peppa pig party and that you didn't need to buy a cake

Jw35 · 24/03/2016 18:52

Buy the peppa pig cake and serve both

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 18:52

She shouldn't cause a scene no but she is being very petty lately.

We have started a relationship again with my MIL and allowing my MIL to look after Dd again after a big family dispute involving SIL and MIL. They still haven't made up and we was stupidly caught in the middle.

Since we made up with her, SIL has started to do and say silly things she knows would annoy us.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 24/03/2016 18:53

Is she trying to be the centre of attention? I can think of no other logical reason for her to CHOOSE to buy a 'Frozen' cake for a 'Peppa' party.

I would but the Peppa cake and point out the bleedin' obvious to her if she so much as raised an eyebrow.

"Dispute going on in the family at the moment and MIL doesn't want to come to party in case SIL creates a scene with her"
Why would SIL create a scene? (Although I already have her tagged as 'the type' ...)

GabiSolis · 24/03/2016 18:53

Did you say anything when she told you? I would buy the peppa pig cake and 'present' that one at the party, using the frozen one to cut up behind the scenes.

ElementaryMyDear · 24/03/2016 18:56

Buy the Peppa Pig cake. If she gets huffy, point out that you told her it was a PP party and where to get a PP cake, it's her own stupid fault if her cake isn't used.

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 24/03/2016 18:56

She didn't tell me she told dh who just said oh..

Apparently she couldn't see any other cake Hmm

Its all complicated at the moment and a total pain in the ass.

Thanks all I will buy the peppa cake. If she says anything, I will say we are going to eat it at home since the party children will be taking the peppa cake home

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 24/03/2016 18:58

"Since we made up with [MIL] , SIL has started to do and say silly things she knows would annoy us."
Oh, I'd definitely be having words with SIL. The clean bit would include 'don't drag me into your relationship with your mother'.

Seriously, nip this in the bud. She doesn't get to tantrum about affect your plans for your daughter's birthday party.

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